Morbidly obese and Chronic illness - how to start?

[Valerrie]

Hi, I'm looking for some advice please.

I'm morbidly obese with a BMI of about 46. I'm 5ft1 and I weigh 17.5 stone. I struggle with my weight due to eating crap, comfort eating, convenience eating due to disabilities and no exercise.

I have fibromyalgia and a spinal injury, osteoarthritis all over, cervical spondylosis, Peri-menopausal, celiac and ibs. I'm 35

I know I need to change my diet. Due to the fact that I'm in bed most of the time, I find it too hard to go downstairs, stand and make food. This means I'm eating sugary cereal for breakfast, a sandwich my husband leaves me with crisps and chocolate, a couple of pieces of food and then a takeaway or something that can be oven cooked quickly for tea like gf nuggets and chips, steak and mash, ready meals etc. My husband is ill himself and works full time so can't spend much time cooking.

I'm now finding it difficult to just move the minimal amount. If I go downstairs and walk back up I'm incredibly breathless and my heart races and pounds. Even walking to the bathroom leaves me breathless.

I really want to tackle my problems but I don't know how. I have severe health anxiety so can't see a GP because I can't leave the house. My blood pressure is fine. If I start moving around and I feel my pulse elevate I have panic attacks. I'm limited to what I can do because of neck and spine pain and knee pain.

I'm so, so miserable and scared. I can't seem to get a grip and make healthy food choices but then we never have healthy food here. My husband does the shopping and he's underweight so buys junk. DD eats healthily but is starting to notice my poor choices.

What can I do? I've spent the morning in a state of extreme panic because I walked up the stairs and I thought my heart was coming out of my chest.

I was over 16 stone 18 months ago. I lost a stone half heartedly using MyFitnessPal but I needed more. So I joined SW. I've lost 4st and only 4lb to go to target.

I find being in the right frame of mind helps. I plan my meals and shop round that. I have lots of foods which are healthy to snack on and it has worked for me.

I have fibromyalgia. It's not gone away but I am managing my pain more and have started an exercise class which has made me more flexible and Mobile.

I saw a photo this week of me 2 years ago and I'm glad I don't still look like that!

Well done! A meal plan and an online shop is a massive achievement!

Don't look back and beat yourself about things - let it all go and just look to the future. When the voice inside your head says 'oh, you can't do that, what about that time you did x' tell it MN says to f off and do something positive for a minute - finding slow cooker recipes on Pintrest, circling your ankles, file your nails.

You can do hardboiled eggs in the slow cooker or oven which is super easy.

Great idea on the fruit teas! Its distracting, calming and will reduce hunger. I love a mint tea

I do like tinned mackerel.

Wow Groovee that's amazing, well done!

Thank you CMOT. I'm terrible for dwelling on the past. I've had a crap life and made some awful mistakes and I find it very hard to move on. I guess being at home alone all day just thinking doesn't help.

Well done OP. Just read through the thread. It sounds like you are really determined and your mindset appears to have changed radically in 24 hours. You have gone from 'I can't do it' to 'I absolutely CAN do this'. Keep it up. Have thread after thread if you need to. MN will be behind you all the way.

You can do this OP!

My BMI was 48.1 at the start of this year, now it's 30.9 - I did it by following a low carb high fat way of eating. I found the right way for me and I feel so much better.

I would highly recommend the LCHF bootcamp on here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/low_carb_bootcamp/3103851-Week-9-Low-Carb-Bootcamp-our-last-fortnight. Great support!

You’ve taken the first steps, which is always the hardest 😀

That's amazing ASD!

I think I've eaten too many nuts. I have an upset stomach It's very sensitive.

I've just downloaded My Fitness Pal and realised water has got into my bathroom scales and they no longer work! Argh! Now I can't enter my weight which is frustrating.

I found the Vitamin D spray on Amazon for £5 though so I bought it. I thought it would be £15 like my Magnesium! Bargain!

You definitely have an eating disorder. Your posts are the classic way an addict talks, full of excuses and why it's always someone else's fault. I'm not saying this to make you feel bad but you are in the grip of an addiction and you need to treat it that way. The first and hardest step is admitting it, and no one is going to change this apart from yourself I'm afraid. I am diagnosed panic attack disorder and medicated so I know how you feel in that regard. But do it you must.

An eating disorder?! Really? Forgive my lack of knowledge but I thought they were anorexia and bulimia and I definitely don't have either!

I thought my eating habits were down to my disability and pain. If someone came in and brought me three healthy meals and some snacks a day, I'd happily eat them.

Read up on binge-eating disorder, Valerrie. Or look at the questions used by Overeaters Anonymous:

This series of questions may help you determine if you are a compulsive overeater. Many members of Overeaters Anonymous have found that they have answered yes to many of these questions.

Do I eat when I’m not hungry, or not eat when my body needs nourishment?
Do I go on eating binges for no apparent reason, sometimes eating until I’m stuffed or even feel sick?
Do I have feelings of guilt, shame or embarrassment about my weight or the way I eat?
Do I eat sensibly in front of others and then make up for it when I am alone?
Is my eating affecting my health or the way I live my life?
When my emotions are intense—whether positive or negative—do I find myself reaching for food?
Does my eating behaviour make me or others unhappy?
Have I ever used laxatives, vomiting, diuretics, excessive exercise, diet pills, injections or other medical interventions (including surgery) to try to control my weight?
Do I fast or severely restrict my food intake to control my weight?
Do I fantasise about how much better life would be if I were a different size or weight?
Do I need to chew or have something in my mouth all the time: food, gum, mints, sweets or beverages?
Have I ever eaten food that is burned, frozen or spoiled; from containers in the grocery store; or out of the rubbish?
Are there certain foods I can’t stop eating after having the first bite?
Have I lost weight with a diet or “period of control” only to be followed by bouts of uncontrolled eating and/or weight gain?
Do I spend too much time thinking about food, arguing with myself about whether or what to eat, planning the next diet or exercise cure, or counting calories?

How are things today?

Hey Valerie, hope you are doing okay today.

No worries if you didn't, just come and sign in with us.

I've been a bit down today after reading up on binge eating disorder. A lot of it does sound like me.

DH made me boiled eggs for breakfast, I had slimming word stew for lunch and a hairy dieters tray bake for tea. I did cave and have five Haribos before tea as I was feeling a bit funny and panicked but nothing major. I have a really bad eae at the moment and I think it's making me shaky but my brain is telling me it's blood sugar and I'll die, so it's difficult.

I did make the effort to spend the day downstairs though, I'm having a low pain day so was able to move around a bit, watch a film with DD and help chop some veg for tea.

Thanks for checking on me :)

Sounds like a good day!

You will give in and have crap at times. It's a bloody hard addiction to break. Can I make a suggestion though? Next time drink a glass of water and have some protein. A slice of ham or cheese or a hard boiled egg. And then have a cup of tea. Try to eat every three or four hours. Don't let your blood sugars drop too much. Eating is fine - it's what you eat that is the issue.

I can recommend that you have a look on www.ddpyoga.com as it is great for anyone, regardless of size or physical ability. There is an app called DDPYOGA Now, which you can pay for monthly that has a new set of workouts added for (mainly) over 50's or for people with disabilities.

He buys me massive bars of chocolate and puts them in my bedroom drawer etc.

WTH . Does he want you to die?

OP, you CAN do this but you need to stop making excuses. And don't let your DH do the shopping, he is KILLING you.

There are loads of things you can eat that don't take much preparation. And that aren't ready-made meals full of salt and crap. And you need to cut out the sugar. Completely. You talk of having not much money, yet your DH is frittering money away on crap that you don't need.

Sorry for your health troubles, OP. Perhaps listening to some guided meditations for overeating might be an idea. I have found them hugely helpful because for me, stuffing food is an emotional thing. You can lie down, put the ear phones on and relax into the experience. The messages in these mediations somehow ‘reset’ my emotional reaction to food. There is a free app called Insight Timer. Look for the Addictions section. Best of luck

Sorry to hear that you felt down but the rest of the day sounded better :)

A few haribos is better than a packet right, remember small steps xx

Thanks for coming back and updating us. Five haribos is not a huge diet break. You are doing ace. Well done on getting diwnstairs, that's so important.

Have you got plans in place to help you eat well on Monday and Tuesday? If not, get that sorted now.

Thank you! I've downloaded that app and I'll have a look later.

That's true, it could have been a lot worse. I just panic when I feel funny and eat sugar.

I have a week's shop arriving tonight if they can get through the snow!

You are doing great. It has taken you a long time to get like this and it will take time to re-educate yourself. The app that Peaceonearth recommended sounds good. Might download it myself.

Good work with the shop. Do you have any mini targets for this week?

PS, upthread you said you used to be strong independent professional. You will be again. This is just a blip, a big blip admittedly, but it doesn't have to be forever. You can come out if this even stronger.

A pp recommended reading weight loss stories online. That's great advice, take a look at you tube too. It's important to see that what you are going to do is totally possible and had been done by lots of people before. It won't be easy or quick but it will happen.

Have a good Sunday - hope you food shop makes it through the snow!

Sorry for barrage of posts but you need to order some scales asap. Just cheap ones, but you need to be tracking your weight to keep you motivated. I'm going to leave you in peace now!!