Morbidly obese and Chronic illness - how to start?

[Valerrie]

Hi, I'm looking for some advice please.

I'm morbidly obese with a BMI of about 46. I'm 5ft1 and I weigh 17.5 stone. I struggle with my weight due to eating crap, comfort eating, convenience eating due to disabilities and no exercise.

I have fibromyalgia and a spinal injury, osteoarthritis all over, cervical spondylosis, Peri-menopausal, celiac and ibs. I'm 35

I know I need to change my diet. Due to the fact that I'm in bed most of the time, I find it too hard to go downstairs, stand and make food. This means I'm eating sugary cereal for breakfast, a sandwich my husband leaves me with crisps and chocolate, a couple of pieces of food and then a takeaway or something that can be oven cooked quickly for tea like gf nuggets and chips, steak and mash, ready meals etc. My husband is ill himself and works full time so can't spend much time cooking.

I'm now finding it difficult to just move the minimal amount. If I go downstairs and walk back up I'm incredibly breathless and my heart races and pounds. Even walking to the bathroom leaves me breathless.

I really want to tackle my problems but I don't know how. I have severe health anxiety so can't see a GP because I can't leave the house. My blood pressure is fine. If I start moving around and I feel my pulse elevate I have panic attacks. I'm limited to what I can do because of neck and spine pain and knee pain.

I'm so, so miserable and scared. I can't seem to get a grip and make healthy food choices but then we never have healthy food here. My husband does the shopping and he's underweight so buys junk. DD eats healthily but is starting to notice my poor choices.

What can I do? I've spent the morning in a state of extreme panic because I walked up the stairs and I thought my heart was coming out of my chest.

Giving sugar up won't make you ill, it will only improve your health dramatically. Our bodies have no use for it. Well done for a positive start.

Well done on yesterday. That's really impressive. Just concentrate on today. Do you have enough healthy food to get you through today?

Is there anything else you can do today - mindfulness videos as suggested by pp?

I use hypnosis a lot. Really recommend the apps by Andrew Johnson. It's my go to lazy choice of moving to end goals I've tried lots of different hypnosis, but his stuff is amazing.

Is there anything you can do now to help you eat right tomorrow? Then maybe choos a couple of baby steps to do before relaxing on your phone/iPad. Maybe 25 minutes min housework, hypnosis/mindfulness then crash with iPad.

Good luck for today

Thank you, I have lean ham, cucumber and gf crackerbreads for lunch and apple. I hope that will fill me up but I do have pistachios and yogurts to snack on.
My dad made a slimming world stew yesterday and is bringing me a bowl for tea.

Tomorrow is difficult as my son has a club from 10-1 and my husband won't be here so I'll have to make lunch. I usually fail and binge because I go too long without food and feel ill. I'll have to ask DH to pick something up tonight that I can have ready for lunch tomorrow.

What mindfulness videos would you suggest? I'm recovering from a three week flare up at the moment so I'm taking things slowly but have managed to wash the dog this morning which is something! It's utterly wiped me out though. I have the afternoon free to work on mindfulness.

Thank you so so much for all your support and kind comments. I feel like such a failure because I used to be so strong and independent, healthy and busy and a professional. It's a big hit to go from that to being so completely useless. I need to change things and though I know I can't change my illness, perhaps if I was healthier I'd be able to do more at home and help DH who is very down.

OP, don't despair. Posting on here and acknowledging the issues is a massive first step. Also well done on the food choices last night and this morn.

Take it one meal at a time.

I also suggest getting a multivitamin and vit d3 as pp suggested.

Would you be interested in the 5:2 diet? Read the OP , there's lots of useful information. BigChocFrenzy who runs the thread has a wealth of knowledge, great advice and always very supportive. The other posters on the thread are great too and so you won't feel alone as such.

I'll link the thread.

Also would it be worth asking for a telephone appt for anxiety meds? If it's really bad they could really help curb it.

Perhaps start with getting dressed every morning and going downstairs.

I don't think you need to worry about exercise so much yet, focus on diet and moving around in the house and then getting out.

5:2 Thread No. 71: O Come All Ye Fasters, Joyful and triumphant, O come ye, O come ye to our 5:2http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/fasting_diet/3093290-5-2-Thread-No-71-O-Come-All-Ye-Fasters-Joyful-and-triumphant-O-come-ye-O-come-ye-to-our-5-2

Have you heard of myfitnesspal? It's a free calorie counting app. Even if you can start eating at just under your maintenance level it will help you slowly lose weight.
Every hour get off the bed and walk the length of the room and back, next week walk that twice. The 3rd week walk down stairs and back up.
Small changes each week will help you get fitter.
I send you a hug, you can do this x

Meant to say, you can totally do this!

Thank you, I'll download My Fitness Pal now and it will help make me more aware of what I'm eating. They won't give me medication as I'm terrified of taking new tablets and they think they might make things worse. It took me months to take paracetamol! They have given me betablockers for an emergency but as one of my main fears is my heart (I constantly pulse check) there's no change I'll take them.

That's a great idea to start off like that in the bedroom. I'll feel less scared that I'm going to develop DVT or something if I'm moving every hour. I do try and move my legs and arms when I'm unable to get up.

If I felt better and more healthy, I know I'd be more inclined to move more. If I could solve these sugar crashes or whatever they are and the anxiety of my heart beating so fast when I move that would be a huge start.

Remember to text your dh about lunch tomo. It doesn't have to be a meal, even just lots of healthy snacks. Nuts yogurt etc.

Or would your dad bring you an extra soup for lunch tomo?

Well done on washing the dog

Thank you, he suggested I do an online shop to come tomorrow evening too. I'll see if there's a slot and set about planning what to buy.

I've just written a letter to my GP begging for some support to see if there's anything they can suggest. That's such a huge step for me I can't even explain.

For people like yourself, liquid diets have known to help kick things off. Speak to your GP for a recommendation. After that you need to follow the NHS plan to lose weight - 1400 cals per day weight loss is designed for sedentary people who can’t exercise.

It all sounds so insurmountable. But it's not. You can do it.

Up your protein. You know you need to cut out the sugar. Sugary breakfast cereals are the absolute worst choice for breakfast. If you can't make porridge yourself at the moment you can get little pots of porridge that are higher in protein. I sometimes have those with blueberries and a sprinkle of flaked almonds and seeds. I make with almond milk.

You need to have a really serious talk with your DH. He needs to support you by not buying crap. But you need to not 'be a brat' about not having chocolate. It's killing you. It's not a treat. It's toxic for you.

You get sugar crashes and cravings because you are having too much. It won't be easy to go cold turkey. It will be hard. But it should only last four or five days. Think of it like flu - it's carb flu really. But think of it like normal flu. You feel crap. You will prob have a headache etc. But it WILL pass. Chromium is good for cravings so maybe get some of that along with your Vit C. Have lots of healthy snacks available. Don't go hungry. Concentrate on getting through. It won't necessarily be easy. But it's all pretty shit now anyway.

And please avoid things like Muller Lights etc. Get proper yoghurt. Add some fruit. Avoid anything labelled low fat and even low sugar or sugar free. They are all a chemical shit storm.

Drink lots of water. If you get a headache take painkillers. Just concentrate on day by day.

Good luck. Keep posting. People on here are really supportive.

Thank you I've put in my letter to my GP that last time they wanted me to see the dietician nurse so hopefully they can arrange something.

I've just done a weekly shop online! Is it sad that I feel accomplished? No chocolate, no sugary things aside from fruit. I've planned our evening meals to go in the slow cooker apart from a gluten free toad in the hole on Friday with veg. My lunches are things like lean meat, salad, houmous, nuts, low fat cheese and corn thins etc. I've ordered normal yoghurts and grab bags of apple slices. No sugary cereal, plain gf rice crispies and almond milk, unsweetened.

I really hope this is a start.

With multi vitamins, I can't take a normal one as iron makes my stomach really bad in that form. What should I take?

I use a magnesium spray and that's all at the moment. I need vitamin D but I can't afford it yet as it's so expensive.

Just read your thread, gosh you’ve made huge strides in a day! Well done to you!

Just keep going one day at a time and you’ll get where you want to be.

Wow. You've done really well.

Ok if Vit D is not affordable just now wait a bit. Concentrate on eating better. You never know - your food bill may well come down. How much were you and DH spending on take away and crap?

Does DH normally buy you a Christmas present? Or family? Ask for Vit D spray and chromium supplements! Am kicking myself as was shopping with a friend a couple of weeks ago and she bought Vit D and got second one for 1p in Holland & Barrett sale. I know she has already passed it on though. Might be worth having a look online to see if there are any offers around though.

Oh - why are you buying apple slices? Surely just apples will b cheaper and better?

OP I have always been fortunate enough to be in good health so won't pretend to be able to imagine what you're going through on a daily basis. However, what I was going to say is that I lost a couple of stone a few years ago and even after losing just one of those stones, I found going up and down stairs so much easier. I imagine anything to make the stair easier for you can only make the rest of your life better.
Have you heard to "Advert Olympics"? Each time the ads come on, you do some exercises for the duration of the adverts. On days when you are stuck in bed watching TV, it may be a useful reminder to try and do something. Walk around the bedroom if you can but just some leg & arm raises would be better than being still - although if you're having a bad day and can't do anything, don't beat yourself up.
In terms of lunch, just getting some tins of tuna or having some hard boiled eggs in the fridge would be a start to a healthy lunch. If it's just me, I don't tend to chop and mix a salad but get a length of cucumber, a tomato, half a pepper and half a little gem lettuce and munch on those whilst eating some tuna or a couple of eggs. Very lazy and probably not as appetising as sitting down to a wonderful bowl of salad but it's better than a packet of biscuits.
Do you have a kettle upstairs? You could make miso soup then or even just hot drinks which would stave off hunger pangs.

There’s a fantastic website which I use a lot called nutritionfacts.org it’s the best website out there for diet and health.

Good luck op!

Thank you, I've got a vitamin D spray in my amazon basket and will get it when I can :)
I also looked online and you get a free membership of Headspace if you join Anxiety UK for £30 so after Christmas I will definitely sign up.

Apple slices because I can't bite a whole apple as my jaw is too bad and if I can't manage to get down to the kitchen to slice one I know I'll eat a grab bag rather than chocolate if it's there.

We have one takeaway a week so about £20. I don't think that's abnormal looking at what other people do but £20 is a lot of food from a supermarket.

That's a brilliant idea about adverts! Thank you. Apparently you can get a watch that vibrates when you haven't moved enough.

Hard boiled eggs are a great idea too, I'll get DH to make some. We always buy eggs then waste them and the dog ends up having them but I'll eat them if they are there to grab.

With nuts, are salted nuts very bad? Should I stick to plain nuts or can I have salted pistachios?

I do also have a kettle upstairs for hot water bottles so I could find some gf soups and fruit tea bags maybe!

I feel like such a hypocrite. I'd preach to my class about healthy eating, making the right choices, fruit for snack etc and then my TA would bring in multipacks of chocolate to fill a shoebox we had stashed in the classroom that we'd raid when the children were out playing. I don't even know why. Addiction I suppose.

Vitamin D in eggs ( which are also really filling for snack) and in oily fish - Lidl doing a side of salmon at the moment you could cut up and freeze portions - or buy ready frozen as it’s cheaper than fresh? If you like mackerel etc tinned fish is also affordable?

Sorry didn’t read properly- fish and eggs already advised!