I have the solution!! Tomorrow when they all turn up

[StrumpersPlunkett]

In parliament
Lock the door!!!!!!!
None of this send them home malarkey
Lock them in until they can agree on a solution.
Send pizzas, juice, whatever they need, but they are not bloody coming out until they do their fucking jobs and run the fucking country

I will allow one phone a friend and that has to be the chief negotiator in Europe. Aside from that no one in no one out.

Worked for generations in African tribal culture.

Thank you.

Isn't that what they do to choose a pope?

I’m not sure we should let them out at all. They’d be safe enough in there arguing until the end of time...

Technically (if I well remember my Saturday catechism, decades ago!) the pope might be elected by the divine spirit, who inspire the wise men at the conclave in taking the right decision ;-)
If it gets resolved, I’m happy to temporarily put on hold my atheism and send a prayer for those locked in.
Honestly, I think it’d end up being a bit Hunger Games ;-)

Ooh yeah. Last MP standing.
Are there cameras in there and we can vote to have them do challenges?

It's worth a try.

Found it. Right.
I am just stepping out... I may be some time.

Locked in there surrounded by armed police may well be quite a safe spot to be in, the way this is panning out.

Starve them until they make a sensible decision, don't make it too comfortable or put them on food bank rations, turn the heating off & let them have to keep on feeding the meters for the lights, make them have to be interviewed regularly to justify what they have been doing whilst locked in & only pay them the same as jobseeker's allowance.

House of Commons Battle Royale! Why do I like that idea?

Leave them in there. And then just carry on as we are. Sounds great.

This the best idea I’ve heard for a very long time, particularly with Nat6999’s additions. Is there any way we can make this happen? Please? I’d pay money.