WT I think you are right on much of that.
There is a lot of:
Is it to say (and I am exaggerating here to make my point, I know this is not how everyone thinks but it is the view expressed by some, even on this thread), well I disdain you for voting leave, I think I understand all about your life, and experiences even though I don't know you and I will henceforth call you a racist, ignorant, resentful, jealous, uncultured bigot with whom I have nothing in common and I will insult every time you try to speak about your views?
HOWEVER I do counter that by also saying that where there is also a lot of defensive tribalism going on.
I will exaggerate in the same way here.
You can not understand me, nor do I want you to because you are not like me. I do not want your understanding as I see that as patronising. I do not know you and I don't want you to know me either. We have nothing in common. I distain you for your background and voting remain. I want to stay loyal to those I surround myself with and to engage with you is a betrayal of them and my history. How I feel is important. I want dignity and respect.
(Interestingly Arab Spring was about dignity and respect not democracy when reasons were examined. Its part of the on going issue re: power now in many parts of the world)
And of course, May has said all these things that reinforce that too.
I get it, I understand it, but the defensive has to give and there has to be an understanding that, even if there is distain for the working class from parts of the middle class, there is also people just don't see it like that at all, and just want to be friends and find that common ground. As I said upthread, I've come across the stupid tribalism a lot - you don't have to say something you are judged from where you live first because it relates primarily class. Its why the UK have fallen first in the wave of right wing feeling across Europe as it was easier to exploit.
Its also why NI and Scotland - with their own extra senses of identity have voted differently. Their strong sense of self identity - which they have not lost despite being part of a bigger union (see important point here) protected them from the attack on class.
The point is, that the English working class has to give the middle class a chance too. And yep the government are playing divide and conquer. Listen to what May says - its all about identity - not policy.
The government have worked this out. All this 'if you are a citizen of the world, you are a citizen of nowhere' stuff? Its about identity.
A report on the referendum is out today:
Faisal Islam @faisalislam
Latest referendum analysis from British Election Study data: -- people identify Leave & Remain more than with party
"average person identified more closely as a remainer or leaver than they did as a supporter of any political party"
After vote Remain voters "strength of identity with Remain campaign increased dramatically", Leave dropped slightly:
www.manchester.ac.uk/discover/news/new-eu-referendum-british-election-study-data/
The Tories have realigned themselves accordingly.