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Original poster

How can I get my sil to stop using pampers and those hideous smelly orange nappy bags?

185 replies

alhambra · 27/04/2007 12:33

that's it really. Gorgeous new baby, lovely family. Very right on in so many ways, so I was totally shocked to see them using VASELINE, PAMPERS and those repulsive orange nappy bags that do not biodegrade in 600 years. I didn't say anything, as thought - aw, they are still getting used to things - but then I thought, no somewhere along the line they have made a DECISION to do this. I really want to say something but a)obviously it's not my baby and b)I remember when I had dd1 and my sister tried to make me take all her old manky reusable nappies and I rebelled, although only to Moltex.

OP posts:
Original poster
alhambra · 27/04/2007 12:48

Sorry, x posted. Yes, that is exactly what is probably going on, new mumishness, which is exactly why I haven't said anything, and I don't WANT to be interfering, as I have already said, so I will probably leave it for now until they are settled in their routine.

OP posts:
mishw · 27/04/2007 12:49

No it is not your duty to persuade them out of it, it is your duty to be supportive to them - don't you remember what it was like to be a new mum?

Anyway, maybe you didn't come across the way you thought you had as without body language and expressions it can be hard to read what someone is trying to say.

As I said before, my sil got me to change by just showing me how easy the reuseable nappies could be. She never told me, put on any pressure on me or made me feel bad. If you feel that strongly maybe that is your way forward.

hana · 27/04/2007 12:50

sometimes people buy into all that crap though - my sil has 2 children and from day one, they had all manner of creams and lotions and potions smeared all over their skin....advertising can be very powerful when you've had your first , or are preparing for your first baby
I didn't use cloth for dd1...thought about it, but just never got around to it. my other 2 are in cloth, but it certainly doesn't make me a bad person
love the baby and keep your opinions to yourself i guess is what I'm saying

WigWamBam · 27/04/2007 12:57

You know what you could do for her?

Tell her about Mumsnet.

She can read about, and find support for, reusable nappies and all the other lentil-weavery stuff that she might be interested in - without the pressure of having you (or anyone else) trying to tell her what to do.

Original poster
alhambra · 27/04/2007 12:59

Yes, I do remember what it was like.....and totally take that new mum shock thing on board, and I am being supportive, honest.Have been baking and making stuff and I haven't raised an eyebrow about the nappies. That is why I am posting on here about it for advice, rather than leaping in.
Still don't see how it can be rude to express an opinion on mumsnet, though. And also don't think that every parenting decision is a private one that is somehow above discussion - don't we learn from each other, isn't that what somewhere like this is about?

OP posts:
Original poster
alhambra · 27/04/2007 13:00

Ah WWB you were obviously thinking the same.

OP posts:
Brangelina · 27/04/2007 13:07

My sister's the same - pampers and nappy bags, never walks anywhere but drives (including to get her children off to sleep), weaned at 4 months, liberally pours paraquat on her lawn to kill weeds , buys monouse items so as not to clutter up her house, doesn't do organic plus a multitude of other "sins".

I do mention the odd thing in a light-hearted way and yes, she has changed a few things as she's seen it's no more hassle really being a bit more conscious, but I'm never going to separate her from her disposables and those horrendous perfumed nappy bags and wipes she insists on using.

I see no point in being evangelical about it as it just gets people's backs up, and with some people it's better not to go down the environmental route, but maybe you could send her a leaflet and outline the more material advantages of cloth (cost, flushing poo down the loo and not having it in your bin etc.). Other than that leave her to it and don't lose sleep over it, anything else and you'll probably piss her off big time.

Original poster
alhambra · 27/04/2007 13:08

You're wise Brang. But what is monouse?

OP posts:
Original poster
alhambra · 27/04/2007 13:09

Oh, mono-use!

OP posts:
SherlockLGJ · 27/04/2007 13:09

Alhambra you don't know what a monouse is ??.........saved me asking.

Brangelina · 27/04/2007 13:11

Sorry, my English has got crap since I moved away. Yes, it's mono-use and not some poncey French thing.

Tutter · 27/04/2007 13:12

good lord, do you really think it's your duty???

just make your own decisions, not those of other people - surely that is enough?

nogoes · 27/04/2007 13:13

Alhambra, Do you often find that people have gone out when you tell them that you might drop by?

Original poster
alhambra · 27/04/2007 13:14

Oddly, no. Why, do you?

OP posts:
nogoes · 27/04/2007 13:15

Oh that surprises me.

mishw · 27/04/2007 13:16

When I said being supportive, I meant a little more than 'baking and making stuff'. You also say that 'I haven't raised an eyebrow about the nappies' and think that is really good!

beansprout · 27/04/2007 13:17

Gotta love your definition of supportive including not letting her know that you are judging her! And I mean that in a nice way!

mishw · 27/04/2007 13:17

I'm sure I do many more things that my sil disagrees with, she does some that I disagree with and can't understand why she does them - but it is none of my business. Her children, her choice. Butt out

mishw · 27/04/2007 13:18

LOL nogoes

Original poster
alhambra · 27/04/2007 13:20

OOOOOOOOOOOk, I am self-parping now, as the bored wolves of mumsnet start howling up each other's arses, sanctimoniously congratulating each other on their witty ripostes. My question was genuine, you don't know me or my relationship with my sil, we differ in opinion, no need to get arsey, really girls, is there.

OP posts:
Piffle · 27/04/2007 13:20

go around and do her washing for her perhaps
It's what would make me use reuseables
I used them on both ds1 and dd but with 3 kids I cna only use them very aprt time atm as the washing is horrendous.

Pannacotta · 27/04/2007 13:26

I don't think its rude either to question them and pretty much agree with the OP. I don't understand how so many well informed people who seem aware of eco issues use pampers/huggies and nappy bags which don't biodegrade.
It is their choice and perhaps easier not to try and change them, but I would prob buy them some Moltex, biodegradeable nappy bags (which are easy to get hold of, Waitrose sells them) and also some eg Neals Yard baby balm (instead of vaseline) and say that you found these products good and eco friendly.
Also think telling her about Mumsnet is a good idea, then leave it at that... Only so much you can do.

nogoes · 27/04/2007 13:28

In answer to your original question, you can't make her do anything that she wants to do it is her life. I wouldn't advise educating her either that would be patrionising. But if you are close to her and it sounds as if you are just drop it into the conversation and ask her why she chose to use pampers etc.

wheelybug · 27/04/2007 13:32

But... the biodegrable nappies DON'T biodegrade unless you build your own wormery - they just in the same landfill site not biodegrading like pampers etc.

I used them (tried reusables but didn't get on with them for a number of reasons) until I found this out, now don't see the point of spending more money on them with no benefit.

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 27/04/2007 13:35

Chist alive.. only on Mumsnet!

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