Angry Cleaner

[PositivePenguin]

This is such a first world problem but I don’t know what to do about it. We’ve had the same cleaner for about 2 years. We both work full time in pressured jobs and yes, it’s a luxury and I feel very lucky. She is British and good at her job (not amazing but decent and reliable). We willingly pay her more than she actually asked for (always in cash) and have given her pay rises without her asking for them. She’s always been quite dour but over the last few months, it’s got worse and worse. I work from home and I always ask how she is: for the next 15 mins, she then tells me how angry she is: how the council aren’t sorting out the repairs at her flat: how her children are being shafted by the system: how politicians are just lining their own pockets: and more recently, how refugees are taking all the resources. I try and empathise as much as I can (while not fanning any flames about refugees) but she obviously doesn’t want to really chat, she just wants to vent. I have started to dread Thursdays when she visits: I work from home and I can’t avoid her. Last Christmas I gave her a Christmas bonus and a gift and she didn’t even say thank you. I think I’m partly feeling middle-class guilt as I’m not affected by the problems she has. But I’m also just dreading the weekly rant, especially as it becomes more right-wing. My husband thinks we should give her another pay rise. I am more thinking about ending her employment and doing the cleaning myself. What would you do?

She is reliable and a fairly decent cleaner. I would therefore try to stop the conversations before getting rid of her as an option.
You could just be really busy when she arrives, or say you have a meeting so need to shut your door, or just change the conversation if she starts moaning.
Try being less amenable to listening to her for the next few weeks and see how it goes.

Maybe say you can’t afford a cleaner with the tax hikes due to tax evasion!! 🤨 Although she may not be in the taxable bracket for income. Ask her. Is she paying tax or keeping her hours down so she doesn’t fall into that bracket. Your pay rises may push in that bracket. Personally I’d offer her extra hours rather than a pay rise if she needs the money and just not engage with her. I’d not gently agree with her. She is your cleaner not your mate.

Christ, you’ve made some assumptions there!

I hate threads like these. They expose the awful way the middle class talks about those they deem lower in status than them. ‘Fire her’ is a common response in these threads.

The women doing the ‘skivvying’ for the better off are human beings, with rent to pay and families to feed. Try thinking that way about them.

I really don’t know if she pays tax.

I bet she doesnt - which is partially why her things are not being fixed.

Gosh, it's awful when the lower echelons step out of line. Get rid of her immediately and don't forget to report her to HMRC for being a tax dodger. I bet she spends all that cash on vapes and lottery cards.

i bet your cleaner’s DH went down to London for the anti migrant demos and that they’ve got a St George’s flag hanging out the window of their council flat It’s such a shame that all those hardworking and non complaining Poles and Lithuanians went home after Brexit isn’t it so they aren’t available to clean your house at half the price this woman charges.

I don't care who or what job people do - if they avoid paying their share, then they can go to hell for all I care

@PositivePenguin i can sympathise but I would disagree with your husband. If it is a dreading situation that you ended up writing on this forum I think it’s time to let her go and find someone else to do the job.

I was just being sarcastic 😂 everyone should pay tax, yes.

Surely the answer is not to listen to the rant.

"Hi Maggie? Hope all good. I'm just jumping on a call in the study.... if I'm not done before you leave, have a good day!"

She’s clearly not from a privileged background but she might be having quite a healthy disposable income and much more free time than the op.

I doubt very much the average house cleaner has a healthy disposable income to spend on all that free time! Geez.

I really love vapes and scratch cards.

Just say 'Hi Mabel, nice to see you, sorry I'm so behind with work' and go back to your home office.

I've had a lot of cleaners. I also hate confrontation.
Most have left for perfectly normal reasons - leaving the area, got a full time job etc.
There was one who was a depressing cloud of doom. She tutted and huffed and puffed for the four hours she was here and frequently told me or DH off for not doing something properly. I dreaded her coming.
I told her we had decided to manage our own cleaning and gave a her a generous farewell.

Now I only expect good cleaning , pleasant personality is a bonus but my new one is a breath of fresh air. Does twice as much with a smile.

I generally avoid my cleaner. Can you work elsewhere when she comes

If you are happy with the job she is doing, don't sack her, just stop asking her how she is. Put your headphones on and stay out of her way.

Goodness me....I can't believe you are contemplating firing her because she talks a bit much. It sounds like she meets all the fundamentals as a decent cleaner - she does a good job and she's trustworthy. This "venting" has developed into a habit because you've allowed it to!

Just do what others have suggested....cut her short, and tell her you're busy....say you don't want to hold her up, and move away. It's not really your business what her politics are, and you're not obliged to waste your time listening/empathising.

@Westfacing

She is getting paid cash in hand and unlikely to be paying tax/NI.

yes that’s what I did when we had one. Opened door said hello and to get herself a brew and then she’d let me know when she was going, generally I’d be on a call. We were both there to do a job , why would I assume she wanted to talk to
me? Same with a plumber or anyone else.

You could tell her that you’d like to see evidence that she pays tax. Considering everything she’s told you, I’m sure she must dislike tax dodgers. If she doesn’t want to tell her that you will hire a company that is above board.

Ignore! Mistake post

😂 Now this is the response you want to give her.

I didn’t make assumptions. I said before making excuses for her- which the poster I was responding to appeared to be doing- we should consider that may be she’s moaning and is negative because of who she is rather than genuine hardship. We simply don’t know.

You did make assumptions in your post though - I myself worked as a cleaner for fifteen years. I have supported myself through two degrees with no debts. Never claimed benefits but wouldn't call myself middle class (whatever that means). I did save good money from cleaning for my mortgage but now that I’m paying one I do find myself having less disposable income. An expense that person doesn’t seem to have - it’s implied she’s in social housing or is receiving housing benefits as it’s for the council to repair her property.

Don’t understand why the thread has been derailed by whether or not she pays tax based the fact that she takes cash. Lots of people are paid cash only for their jobs- it’s not illegal - they just need to declare it on their annual tax return.
for all the people who have decided she doesn’t pay tax and are up in arms about it, I assume you all boycott Amazon too?? . 👀

Back to your question @PositivePenguin - as others have said - stop asking her questions, get to work with headphones on and that should put an end to her chatting away. Only you know if you can bare to have her in your house anymore. I would also be put out by her not saying thank you for a Xmas bonus but sounds like main issue is her opposing life views and constant negativity which you don’t have to listen to if you just don’t ask the question or make yourself unavailable. If you do sack her think of her other clients will have to listen to even more moaning 🤣

I wondered this! Maybe you could sympathise, say you agree how schools/ hospitals aren’t providing the service they used to because of poor funding and how angry it makes you that so many people don’t contribute to the national purse but just seem happy to moan and take.

Then run into your safe room and wait out the storm.