Angry Cleaner

[PositivePenguin]

This is such a first world problem but I don’t know what to do about it. We’ve had the same cleaner for about 2 years. We both work full time in pressured jobs and yes, it’s a luxury and I feel very lucky. She is British and good at her job (not amazing but decent and reliable). We willingly pay her more than she actually asked for (always in cash) and have given her pay rises without her asking for them. She’s always been quite dour but over the last few months, it’s got worse and worse. I work from home and I always ask how she is: for the next 15 mins, she then tells me how angry she is: how the council aren’t sorting out the repairs at her flat: how her children are being shafted by the system: how politicians are just lining their own pockets: and more recently, how refugees are taking all the resources. I try and empathise as much as I can (while not fanning any flames about refugees) but she obviously doesn’t want to really chat, she just wants to vent. I have started to dread Thursdays when she visits: I work from home and I can’t avoid her. Last Christmas I gave her a Christmas bonus and a gift and she didn’t even say thank you. I think I’m partly feeling middle-class guilt as I’m not affected by the problems she has. But I’m also just dreading the weekly rant, especially as it becomes more right-wing. My husband thinks we should give her another pay rise. I am more thinking about ending her employment and doing the cleaning myself. What would you do?

I was in a very similar position to you recently and I let her go. I started to dread her coming and that’s no position to be in in your own home. I told her I was going to clean the house myself from now on and just found someone else. The new lady is better, faster and we have no issues

This! I don’t stand around chatting with my cleaner. If she’s reliable and good at her job, who cares what her views are? If you were making a wage as a cleaner you might not be so happy with life either. Just don’t engage!

Me too! Just ask how someone is and then leave them to get on with it after a minute

Living in social housing doesn't automatically mean living off benefits but I'll eat my hat if she's declaring the cash to HMRC.
People who whine about how hard their life is really grind my gears. I'm fairly left leaning (&.poor!) & I know that when you see their lives up close, they're like baby birds, mouths open to given something & not a lot of contributing going on. That's why they latch onto scapegoats, half a dollar looking down on two bob!
Don't give her the opportunity to moan, just a bright good morning & crack on with your work

I would bin her out. If it's not a positive experience then don't bother.

Why did you ever get involved with 15 minute chats with someone who is visiting to clean your house for presumably a set period of time.

The content of the chat isn't relevant you aren't hiring her for her political views you are hiring her to clean your house.

Sorry but your lack of professionalism has now created an issue where you are considering releasing her from her work. What a mess, don't complicate employment with socialising. If she is good at the skill you have employed her for then back off allow her to carry out her work.

My mother always had cleaners but like any close proximity job, there should be some care about boundaries. We never had any drama though, except once for good reason.

I’m surprised anyone would prefer strangers coming and out through an agency than someone reliable and honest who knows your home.

Because the “strangers” are managed by a well organised company who I deal with direct and not the cleaners.

My experience with individual cleaners includes

An alcoholic who drained our drinks cabinet and would not turn up for weeks cheerfully explaining she was “on a bender”. So glad she had a key to our flat 🙄

A young Romanian girl I felt so so sorry for

A lady who became obsessed with us and wrote us mad scrawly letters about how good looking and amazing we were

When dh off sick he found a huge Eastern European soldier sitting on our sofa gave him a fright was cleaners boyfriend

Tell her it's no longer working for you, give her notice/pay within the bounds of whatever is legally required. Say no to a reference. I'd never have a cleaner, but I don't think anyone needs to endure anyone dispensable, who makes them feel uncomfortable in their own home. I'm not sure you ever needed to enter into 15 minute long chats though.

Well, that guilt or ineptitude is for you to learn to manage surely? It seems to me quite mad to have total strangers cleaning your house because your guilt about having someone else mop your floors translates into you standing meekly nodding along while someone unloads about their ‘messy life’.

Easier said than done. I seemed to end up getting embroiled with the women that clean my house every week. See my friends doing the same with their individual cleaners so it’s clearly not just me. And look at poor op! I don’t want that.

MUCH prefer a well managed mixed team who come in blitz the house then sod off. No personal interaction beyond hello goodbye have a nice weekend. It’s brilliant.

I had a similar ish issue. Young (mid 20s) woman cleaning for us who was from Lithuania. I quickly learned that the normal pleasantries of “how are you” was met with a good 10 mins moan about the weather, her health, everything. I put it down to a cultural misunderstanding - no one actually wants to know really how you are. And a general negative outlook.

in your case no way would I be giving her a pay rise. As rude as it sounds I would just greet her with with “Hi Mabel - good to see you. I must push on, meeting starting in 2 mins”. Essentially never ever ask her how she is. Don’t give her an opening. As rude as that seems. But it’s even more rude to vomit up a list of rants at your client. you don’t need to listen to that.

That’s what I did with our cleaner tho I ended up sacking her for being completely unreliable and endless last minute ailments.

Completely this!!! We stop asking a woman at work how she is as she traps you for an hour complaining about all her ailments. Now it's just a happy hello and carry on with what we are doing.

What would I do? Neither. I’d just say "Mmm, a tricky topic, but I’ve got lots to do so I’ll leave you to it", unless she said something really outrageous, e.g. openly racist, in which case I’d have to stop employing her.

I'd be more annoyed about the ingratitude for the Xmas gift and bonus, in fact next time I’d probably prompt her to say something by asking if she'd liked the gift.

But if you really don’t like her, look for a different cleaner,

Throwing money at the situation won’t solve it.

I wouldn't like that. I definitely wouldn't give her a payrise and would likely think about getting rid of her.

She can vent in time you’re not paying for.

Get another cleaner!

I think a simple, sorry with the price of everything now and business not as good as it was, we're going to have to cut down on expenses and we really can't afford a cleaner any more, so your last day will be such and such, thank you so much for all your work, etc, etc.

If she turns up every week and actually cleans I'd caution against sacking her. You've not employed her on the basis that she either aligns with your socio-political views or doffs her cap at you. Just don't engage in pointless waffling chit chat.

(honestly i suffer middle class guilt as well, and view paying others to do tasks for me as a more direct method of wealth sharing than paying tax that gets spaffed by HMG, you can't sack someone because they don't meet your wish to only engage with the pleasant worthy poor)

I remember my mum had a cleaner like this, we used to call her ‘racist Lynne’ and my Dad would hide in the cafe at Morrisons rather than be home when she cleaned 😂

I like the sound of her 🧐