Elder abuse

[broyod]

I'm a private carer. Today a client confirmed what I had been suspecting that her son has been physically abusing her. He has undiagnosed mental health problems and his mother is frightened by his outbursts. I have witnessed some of his rantings but not the violence. I've seen the bruises and taken photos. His wife and small child live there also. My client does not want me to report this at all. I'm worried for everyone's safety. What should I do?

Make a report to adult social services safeguarding and call Age UK.

I'm worried about breaking her confidence also. It was very difficult for her to confide in me. If I say something she might stop me visiting or the son might stop me visiting. Nobody will see or hear anything.

Could you innocently say to the son that you noticed her bruises and has she had a fall. Should she see a doctor? It might alert him to the fact that things get noticed.

Report to adult social care as a safeguarding concern and the police as a crime, you can do it via your local police authorities 101 service (email or phone), If you only report it to adult social care they will just report it to police on your behalf anyway.

You don't have a choice. It's up to the lady to deny it to the professionals if she wants to, as a professional you have a duty to report it.

don't bother with AgeUK they are an information and advice service and will just tell you to report to adult social care.

It’s your duty to report it.

It is your responsibility to report him

It's a safeguarding thing OP. You should have done safeguarding training?

You know what to do.

Well yes, it is but I see OP’s point in that they will probably just decide they don’t want her to go to the house any more, then no one will be witnessing what’s happening to her.

So no escalation reported, etc.

I don’t think you have a choice at this point.
What happens if you don’t report to adult SS and the police? Can you stop it, can you protect her? Doesn’t sound like it. So you have to get authorities involved. Sorry, it must be very difficult to navigate.

In your position as her Carer you have to report it OP. You have a duty of care.

She will shut down and shut me out if I betray her confidence. I'm trying to respect her wishes. Is there an anonymous way of highlighting them? I could hear shouting as I approached the house recently, a passerby would have heard it.

You could contact Hourglass for advice.

I understand the predicament you're in, however guidance is very clear in these circumstances, you can, and should, break confidentiality and report this from the pov of being a care worker with a duty of care. It's abuse and you have a duty to your client to prevent any further harm to the best of your ability, and failure to do so can have concequences for you - I'm not saying this to scare you or make you feel bad, unfortunately it's the reality of a situation like this.

I understand that if you do, she'll likely shut down and not confide in you again, and quite possibly deny what she's said to you, it's one of the awful situations care workers find themselves in where it seems like a no win situation and that if you do report, not only may the abuse continue, but the abused person will lose the person they've eventually confided in too, so may well continue 'under the radar'. It's also a worry that the abuse may escalate in 'revenge' or you may personally be a target.

In your situation I have spoken to the person who's been abused, and tried to persuade them that the right thing to do is to report this, gently and tactfully, explain that you're there to care for them and this is part of that, and you are duty and morally bound to stop the abuse, and will do it because you care for and about them. It's got to come from the standpoint that it's their wellbeing at the forefront of this, not that you might get into trouble.

I'm really sorry you're facing this, it's a horrible situation to be in.

Please report this. Safeguarding is everyone’s business and as such, a safeguarding referral needs to be made to Adult Social Services. If you go to the local authority website and go to Adult Social Care, there should be a link to Safeguarding. They will contact the Police.
You can make the referral anonymously. Explain the shouting can be heard from the street, the neighbours have heard it and she has bruises on her. Tell them she told you it was her son.
Even if she realises it was you and cuts contact, better that than keeping quiet and her suffering more or losing her life.
Social Services can complete an investigation and a Care Act assessment and will liaise with the Police to get the best outcome for her.

People make anonymous referrals to us all the time and we do act on them. But it would also be taken much more seriously if you said who you were and offered to go with the social worker to speak to her at a time she could speak alone.

What if one day he really hurts her and she requires hospital admission or worse? I've been the social worker investigating that situation too many times and whilst I absolutely understand your fears, I would be appalled if it transpired the abuse was known about by a professional and you hadn't done anything about it.

It's a delicate situation as they are all living together in a tiny house. The lady is due an important operation in a few weeks. I'd hate for this to not happen. Also I'm worried things will escalate very quickly and get much worse.

You must report it. Doesn’t your training include any understanding of basic safeguarding?

I did my training within a care home so it's different.

That is your chance, when she's in hospital. You must report this. Could you report your concerns to the nursing staff when she's safely in hospital? So she's not in the situation of being with her abuser at the time action is taken?

I did my training within a care home so it's different.

I did mine in a care home too, abuse is abuse whoever is the perpetrator or where the abuse occurs. Yes the circumstances are different because it's a family member in this case, but your duty to report it still stands. Being a family member doesn't change what's happening, it makes things more difficult I agree though.

Would you not report this in a care home if it were a family member? Because it does happen. I've seen it happen and reported it. I know the difficulty you're facing and the moral dilemma and feeling like you're betraying her trust and that she may try and protect her son by denying she said anything, but in the kindest way, you'd be betraying her more by not doing anything.

As a carer you have a duty of care.
You need to report it, for everyone's sake.

Whose house is it, his mum, wife and child are all at risk. Mum could be placed in an emergency carehome if she is at risk of harm, he could be removed from the house. There's no reason her operation would get cancelled, why would it, she'd be safe in hospital and placed somewhere safe afterwards. If you're worried about your own safety tell your manager that abuse is happening and you don't want to go back. Contact Elder Abuse uk, tell your manager.

Since her disclosure I received a message saying her son wants me to stay away as she is isolating in preparation for her operation which has been brought forward to next week. It doesn't make sense and I'm worried he knows she has told me. She has replied to my texts that things are relatively calm and she says she deletes messages because her son looks at her phone. I'd hate to inflame things. I have called the NSPCC who are going to call me back.

Why have you phoned the NSPCC?

You have a duty of care to report physical abuse.

I have no idea why you reported to nspcc. You have a legal duty to report. It should have first bern reported to your manager and from their to your local safeguarding team. It is absolutely vital that you do this.