Elder abuse

[broyod]

I'm a private carer. Today a client confirmed what I had been suspecting that her son has been physically abusing her. He has undiagnosed mental health problems and his mother is frightened by his outbursts. I have witnessed some of his rantings but not the violence. I've seen the bruises and taken photos. His wife and small child live there also. My client does not want me to report this at all. I'm worried for everyone's safety. What should I do?

now is the perfect time to report it, the hospital and adult social care will take advantage of the hospital admission to speak to her about it but they can't plan to do that if they don't know there are concerns.

it will also flag up if she doesn't attend for the hospital procedure as well. We can ask for flags to be put on a health record to alert us if an appointment isn't attended and we have concerns that the person may be at risk.

honestly it sounds like they know she has disclosed already (hidden cameras perhaps? - very common) so what have you got to lose.

The fact you're self employed and haven't reported this is worrying, you are solely responsible for your training and practice and should have arranged up to date safeguarding (and other training) for yourself, and that's very clear in circumstances like this, especially as you say that your training was in a care home - how long ago was that? Was it in line with current guidelines?
You need to report this, mostly for her sake obviously but also for your own.
This is why carers need to be 'pinned' and have mandatory training and CPD, all the more for self employed carers. It should not be a job anyone can do as long as they've got a *clear DBS and business insurance.

But of course that would push prices up, so there's little incentive for that to happen.

*And by clear I mean not convicted of anything or on a barred list.

Report this, to adult safeguarding, tonight, online, because it's the only right thing to do in this situation.

Surely you realise you need to report this? There are no other options. I would rather betray a trust and save a life rather than sit back and do nothing

You should NOT be a carer. The person YOU are a carer for, has told YOU about abuse and YOU are wondering what to do.

Yes, we don’t know the full story or the back story or the dynamic of the family blah blah blah but YOU have a duty of care and a responsibility to protect the person YOU are caring for.

Get a grip and do the right thing.

I'm going to talk to the hospital, hopefully she will open up to them

"The hospital" is a nebulous term.

Who, precisely, are you going to talk to? Hospitals have hundreds of staff members.

You're avoiding your duty and responsibility to your patient. She has disclosed abuse to you, and you have observed abuse yourself.

It is YOU who must report this to either the police, or Adult Social Care.

You're avoiding this for some reason, and your patient is in danger.

And if she doesn't?
Nothing changes.
And how will you know if she has, anyway?

You're not doing your duty to this lady. You yourself must report this abuse to the right people.

I can't understand you.

You are really doing everything to avoid your responsibility here. It is your responsibility to tell the appropriate person. The appropriate person is is in adult social care. Or if you witness an actual assault the police. You have been told something which is a cause for concern. You can't shift that responsibility on to another person. You report it.

Who are you going to talk to, what if she doesn't want to discuss it with them, as you're not caring for her anymore how will you even know when she's in hospital and what ward she's on. , why don't you just raise a concern now anyway.

Because of this, I think it is all the more urgent that you report this as soon as possible and to the correct people, as instructed by many previous posters.

If asking you to stay away doesn't make sense to you, and you fear her son might know what she told you, there is a genuine risk that any abuse might now have escalated and she could be in serious danger.

Please don't wait any longer.

Oh, and dont delete any texts the woman has sent you that might support what you are telling them - they might be of help to anyone who investigates this.

This is still wrong YOU have to disclose to SS

Op is not interested, complete waste of time giving any more advice.

In reality you can't 'tell the hospital'. Too many staff, the consultant with apparent oversight will be too overstretched, you won't know the position/level of authority/competence of whoever you talk to. That just won't work.
I appreciate that it's a difficult situation and you're afraid to make it worse. But bear in mind that in the majority of cases, abuse escalates. So again the reality is that staying silent won't work to help her, and very probably will allow escalation.
So if neither telling the hospital nor staying silent are appropriate options, there is only one solution, which is to tell the appropriate organisations as per PPs advice.

I wonder if you'd change your tune OP if you understood you're liable to be prosecuted for negligence by NOT reporting this properly to adult social care. That'd really jeopardise your future employment.

The poor lady hasn’t disclosed anything to the hospital staff

she’s disclosed it to you.

it is your responsibility to do the right thing and inform adult safeguarding in your area.

i don’t understand why you’re not acting on this.

I don't think the OP does understand that.

I'm a self employed carer and also a freelance health and social care trainer. I make sure all my training is up to date, my DBS is up to date and my car and public liability insurance are up to date. I'm registered with the local social services as an approved self employed carer with access to a microteam so that we cover each others holiday/sickness.

Facebook is absolutely full of individuals who respond to requests for care and I know for fact because I live in a small town that those carers aren't registered and I know a couple who don't even have up to date training.

Facebook is the worst place to get an independent carer from - well it is where I live anyway.

With every update I don’t think the OP actually really gives a shit. 100% should not be carer as can’t even follow the basic protocol of SAFEGUARDING.

If my mate told me their friends, friends, Nan was being abused I would do something. Let alone someone I was employed to look after.

An absolute disgrace.

Well exactly, as well as risking being put on a barred register which means you can't work with vulnerable people.

Protecting the people you care for from abuse is one of the fundamental basic duties of social care.

I'm out of social care now, but during my time I've made safeguarding, police and NMC reports on behalf of the people I've cared for. I've even done it twice in a hospitality setting.

It's not easy, it's stressful and upsetting, conflicting and worrying, it's not fair you're put in this situation by someone else's behaviour - but you need to understand that it's a responsibility you accept when you take on a role in social care.

It is that simple. The problem is you are too emotionally invested and going all round the houses rather than doing the one thing you should be doing. It doesn't matter what happens afterwards. What matters is that you report the abuse.

Speaking as someone who reported a safeguarding issue, only for it to result in the child's father beating him up even more severely, I totally understand your concerns @broyod , even though I completely understand where everyone else is coming from, and that as far as my job was concerned I had no choice.

Unlike you though, I had the backing and support of my management team to help me through the trauma of what happened consequently. I'm really sorry that you find yourself in this situation.

If the operation is scheduled for next week, I think that I'd prefer it stressing within the hospital setting. I wonder if social services would delay any action until she's safely in the care of the hospital, rather than at home?

It's a horrible situation which I think many people don't quite understand. On paper it's such a clear decision. In practice it's really scary.

It absolutely does matter what happens afterwards. However much reporting is the clear thing to do, it doesn't always end positively. In my case the outcome was traumatic for both the child (and less importantly) me.

Some empathy for OP would be good, rather than lecturing.

It doesn't matter to the OP what happens next though, and should not be used as an excuse to justify her failure to do the right thing.

This is a safeguarding concern and must be reported.

You're missing my point. While it's the right thing to do, it can result in the wrong thing. In our various roles we are told that we have to report straight away. Because on the balance of probabilities, that gives the best results. But in individual circumstances it's possible to see that it could go the wrong way. And that makes it really hard for the reporter, especially when they have no management back up.

Yes, it's what she needs to do, but OP is more likely to do it if she's shown some empathy and understanding along with the advice, instead of the berating and the insults that she's getting.

I don't think I am missing the point myself. Reading from the start, it's probably not difficult to understand why people are more empathetic towards the alleged victim here. It may well not have the desired outcome but that should not be the primary concern as to whether we act or not. In a situation where we have been confided in by a victim and have photographic evidence of unexplained bruising we can forward to the police and authorities along with a statement as a witness (which OP now is), we should not be worrying more about whether they let us carry on going back to the house to do our paid job afterwards.