Elder abuse

[broyod]

I'm a private carer. Today a client confirmed what I had been suspecting that her son has been physically abusing her. He has undiagnosed mental health problems and his mother is frightened by his outbursts. I have witnessed some of his rantings but not the violence. I've seen the bruises and taken photos. His wife and small child live there also. My client does not want me to report this at all. I'm worried for everyone's safety. What should I do?

No, you would not have.
It was a shame for the student but she probably would have dropped out anyway and the security guard lost the opportunity to do that to another student

If you will not follow basic safeguarding protocol you should not be a carer. You have a duty of care towards your client and should not be promising to keep abuse quiet. It is unbelievable that you are more worried about losing your job than protecting a very vulnerable older person. If anything happens to her, you will be complicit because you knew she was being abused.

How dare you accuse me of worrying about losing my job!!!

But OP we are all shocked that you haven't immediately reported physical abuse.

Why wouldn't you?

In real life, when there are actually 3 peoples lives to think of it's not as straight forward as you think. My actions at the wrong time could make things much worse.

I disagree broyod.

I've worked as a carer for elderly people

Reporting physical abuse of an elderly person is vitally important

I gave you very clear directions up thread how to report the abuse, even told you that you can do it anonymously but you still haven’t done it and your client is at risk of further abuse. Why haven’t you reported it? What else could be preventing you making a safeguarding referral?

It isn’t your job to decide on the right time. It’s your job to report to the appropriate agenciess and they will decide how to proceed.

I can’t believe you have had to ask.

I actually thought it was a legal requirement to report abuse if in such a role.

If it were that simple I'd of done it already.

Its not your call to decide when the "wrong time" is, you need to leave that to people whose job it is to make that call and handle any repercussions.
Your only option here is to report it to SS immediately.
That is very very straight forward

It is! Rules are very clear that safeguarding is prioritised over confidentiality if someone is at immediate serious risk.

You are a mandated person so you have a duty of care to report this. When working with anyone you have to ensure that they understand that confidentiality does not apply when someone is at risk of or the victim of abuse. His actions have already reached the threshold where you dont have a choice it has to be reported. You need training for mandated person and confidentiality if you are to continue being a carer. I've had to report people hundreds of times over the course of my career it's never easy but keeping people safe is part of the job.

I'm a retired public sector worker. It was impressed on me, in the strongest possible terms that if I suspected that anyone I came into contact with, child or adult, if I suspected abuse I absolutely HAD to report it to the relevant department.
You really have no choice in this.

@broyod When I was working as a self-employed carer, I was obliged to report abuse from a husband towards his wife, who had dementia.

The man was emotionally abusive, very impatient, made his wife do certain things at certain times of the day (so no allowances made for her mental state and inability to understand or remember) and he shoved her when she didn't move quickly enough.

It was horrible being in their house. They had two daughters, one of whom tried to stop him from being so awful, and the other, who agreed with him that her mother wasn't trying hard enough.

The other carer and I decided to report the situation to social services.

It was the right thing to do, and you need to report this man to social services, too.

You have to. Legally and morally.

I'm horrified that you're even wavering about this.

You have a legal obligation to report end of. It is not up to you what happens next, those with skill and knowledge do that. You are putting this person at serious risk. I would be absolutely appalled if you worked for me and you had not reported this.

Any news from the nspcc, you can report your concerns to social services child safeguarding too. What are you so afraid of.

OP, I do understand your concern at reporting and the possible/likely reprisals of your client becoming more isolated and even lying to professionals if they did intervene.

However, the alternative is serious injury or even death, either due to physical injury or unmet health needs if the perpetrator prevents her from attending appointments and having the care she needs. Not to mention the lifelong impact on the child living in this environment.

Please log with social care in your area, both children’s and adults. You can do so anonymously. Make sure to include that she is about to have an operation, and you don’t have eyes on her now so she is more at risk. Also include that he checks her phone.

There are lots of ways professionals can discretely check in with her and give her the opportunity to talk while making it seem like procedure - GP asking how everything is at home, hospital asking if she has had any recent injuries or illnesses before the op (and noting any bruises or responses).

I think I missed the age of the child, but health visitors/nursery/school can all keep an eye out.

They may all already have concerns but no evidence. Neighbours may have reported concerns. Your referral could be the last piece of the puzzle, or the first - but it will help keep them safe.

Also consider the risk to you in visiting. I’m not telling you to stop, but make sure someone knows the address and when you will be there. Familiarise yourself with silent solutions or download an app such as Hollie Guard.

You are lone working in an abusive household.

Agencies will do all they can to keep referrals confidential and won’t want to risk her losing vital support.

This is very simple. You must report this to adult social services, and let the highly trained and skilled safeguarding professionals manage this. That is both your duty and your responsibility. You will not have the very high level of safeguarding training needed to know what the risks are and how to effectively manage them. Let the professionals mange this. If you do not report this, then you are standing by and allowing a vulnerable person to be abused. Come on, do the right thing.

You have no choice I'm afraid OP. It is your legal duty to report it. It is elder abuse. Contact your local social work office asap. If you don't report it you are perpetuating the abuse. I know it is difficult but it is the only option. Have been in your shoes. Do you have other clients?

You have no choice if you know she's being abused and don't report it then you're complicit.

Please make sure your training is all up to date and don't keep texting her she's your client not your friend.

She's due a prosedure at hospital soon they will certainly say something then if you keep quiet they may look towards you too .
If she shuts down and doesn't ever confide in you again at least you have done the right thing , also if there is so many of them in the house they may be under stress you might actually be helping everyone

It is that bloody simple! Your excuses are piss poor tbh. It's a legal requirement that you report this as a safeguarding issue and will have consequences for you if you are found to have known and done nothing! I was a carer for 15 years and safeguarding was always a major major part of our job. You should know this and it's complete madness that you won't report it! You absolutely should not be working in care if you're not prepared to report this to social services and I don't care if that upset you!

mortlurf , I would honestly report the carer for holding back , I would be screaming from the rooftops

Unfortunately that's not your decision to make, you've witnessed abuse and taken no action, not sorting this has kept those 3 people plus yourself at risk now.