Friend from the past asked if she could stay with us for 6 months

[RollyPol]

An old friend (were out of touch for 16 years, shared accommodation in student days in London) who is a locum biomed scientist got an offer to work for 6 months in a hospital near to mine. She asked if there is a room she can stay in whilst working there. She did not say anything about paying for the room, but I don't want a lodger anyway, I just want peace and quiet with my dc and dh. They don't know her and I don't think they want a stranger in the house. What do I say to her? I don't think I want anyone who is not a family member with me for 6 months either.

[downsizedilemma]

This is a no-brainer - just say no.

[Justsomethoughts]

there are some family members I wouldn’t want living with me for 6 months. It’s a huge ask!

[CountFucula]

‘No. That won’t work for our family set up. I’d love to see you when you are in the area though! ‘

[ChancersWife]

‘Oh that’s great news about your placement, unfortunately it’s not a great time for us / we’re not in the position to have visitors at the moment but here’s a link to the local Facebook site where I’ve seen people have luck with this kind of thing. Let me know when you’re settled in and we can go for a coffee and catch up.’

[LongCareerOfNearMisses]

Did she literally ask "is there a room I can stay in" meaning "do you know of any available accommodation" or did she actually say "in your house"?

[Nudgethatjudge]

Say no, hope she finds somewhere.

Shes asking a question and I doubt ahe really thinks you will be saykng "yes that would be amazing"
You could say you'll have a look for potential places (to be kind/ease any guilt you shouldn't feel)

[LadyGaGasPokerFace]

After some thought, this idea doesn’t work for me or the family.

[Northernsouloldies]

Hmmmm....No.
That's cheeky as fuck and you haven't saw her in 16 yrs.

[RainStreakedWindows]

"That doesn't work for us I'm afraid and I don't know of anyone looking for a lodger at the moment but if I hear of anything I'll definitely let you know. Hoping we can have a catch up over coffee or wine when you are in the area".

[RollyPol]

@LongCareerOfNearMisses

Did she literally ask "is there a room I can stay in" meaning "do you know of any available accommodation" or did she actually say "in your house"?

Do you have a room in your house I can stay in?

[MoveOnTheCards]

If her question was ‘is there somewhere I can stay?’ then just send her any recommendations or air bnb links that might be of interest to her.

If her question was ‘can I stay in your spare room?’ then a simple ‘no, our room’s not available, but it would be great to see you when you’re working in the area’ would surely suffice.

[MoveOnTheCards]

Ah cross posted! @RainStreakedWindows suggestion is a good one. Short, to the point and shuts it down immediately.

[NoSquirrels]

@RollyPol

Do you have a room in your house I can stay in?

‘Sorry but we couldn’t put you up. It’ll be great to catch up when you’re working here, you must come for dinner sometime.’

If you can’t say no to this, what do you say no to?

[AuntMarch]

What did you say, and why wasn't it just "We can't accommodate, but I can help you look for a room somewhere else if you want me to ask around?"

[SheilaFentiman]

Totally agree - quick and clear no.

I doubt she’s expecting a yes, but she may have thought “ah, worth a shot”

You could offer to take a look at your hospital notice board for any room ads?

[MsGrumpytrousers]

Sorry, no.

[cheeseandketchupsandwich]

"Do you have a room in your house I can stay in?"

Unfortunately I don't, sorry.

Job done.


Out of touch for 16 years?! She's a CF. SAY NO.

[ShortLivedComment]

I don't think it was cheeky to ask but it's obviously perfectly ok for the OP to decline. Some people wouldn't have minded and might be grateful of some extra cash.

[YeahComeOnThen]

@RollyPol

Do you have a room in your house I can stay in?

@RollyPol just say 'Sorry, I don't! All occupied. it'll be great to see you & catch up properly though.'

[SheilaFentiman]

She’s not really a CF, she’s an Asker - she assumes that the other person will give a clear answer to suit them

Unless she pushes on OP’s no, in which case she is a CF

[mammaCh]

Why are you even posting this?surely you'd just reply "sorry, but no".

[Absurdgiraffe]

I have had a similar request.

My response was that I was not looking for a lodger and I hoped she found something suitable.

[exexpat]

"Sorry, we can't put you up, but I can ask around to see if any of my colleagues are looking for a short-term lodger." Or send her a link to spareroom.com.

[howtofixteeth]

There's nothing wrong with her asking - some people would be happy for the extra income / company.

It's not an unreasonable query.

But it shouldn't be asked with any expectation you'll say yes.

Just say it doesn't work for you.

[DrJump]

That's a lot. If you felt able you could offer a week. Or if that's too much just offer to catch up.