35 yr old healthy female dead from cancer in 12 weeks

[dreamofaVWcamper]

Just had news 35 year old friend of friend dead from cancer diagnosis within 12 weeks

Terribly business, children involved. Husbands bereft,

Upon hearing the terrible news I placated with the usual "so young, so soon, the poor fella, family and kids...."

I loosely said "makes you wonder if covid wasn't around if she could've been seen, treated or advised quicker"
(Given that there are millions of delayed treatments now, kidney transplants, mastectomy's, hip replacements etc)
Friend absolutely lost their shit at me saying "oh it's all about covid with you ain't it, you don't know shit, an expert on cancer now are you?"
I replied no of course not, but a healthy woman to die within 11-12 weeks of diagnosis is awful, I wonder if it had a part to play.....
Then a barrage of abuse and "youre jealous cos it's something that ain't all about you" this smarts, pretty appalling thing to say.....for daring to have an opinion/thought process on the situation,
What I though was my friend and I are house sitting for my sister, they've called me expletives and upset me to the point I'm shaking lump in my throat....wondering what prompted such a reaction (bf hasn't known direct couple involved for years....)
They've sulked off furious at me downstairs their cars outside and I have interview for new job in -6 hours
I'm feeling horrific here how wrong would I be to say there's your car F off in it, you've blown this out of proportion?
I barely could speak without being berated I'm devastated here

It is massively underreported that there was hardly any cancer treatment during Covid. No operations that required ITU, very little chemo and just radiotherapy. We will be seeing the loss of life from this.

@MrsTerryPratchett

Something's going on. Either in his life (cancer worry or diagnosis, anxiety) or in his relationship with you (he's been holding anger in about something). Or he's an abusive arsehole. Which one? Who knows?

Wise and accurate words.

My sister died of cancer within 12 weeks of her diagnosis, she was perfectly healthy and working full time, aged 45 and mother to three teenagers. That was long before Covid came along . She got the best of medical treatment but the cancer was too strong for her.

Maybe don't make assumptions about people's health issues when you don't know the full story.

How does someone even find a thread this old!!!!!!!!

I will limit my comments because it is so hard to know exactly what prompted your friend to be upset is something only she knows.

But there is one thing I and I think most of us experience when a loved one dies. It's the "cudda, wudda, shouldaa" guilt thing.

I experienced it when my parents died,

It may well be that your comments triggered that.

So hard. Best to say I am sorry for your loss, and these are the lovely things I remember, rather than "it might not have happened if....".