Money left in wills.

[millionsardines]

My mum is in a home now with dementia, and its very likely that when she passes away I will get something like £200,000 from the sale of her house, however only my brother visits her, I have always stayed away from my parents and never liked them, I left home when I was a teenager and told them I never wanted to see them again, though later on I did visit them a couple of times a year.

I will get the money and I'm going to buy a plot of woodland with it , a peaceful haven for weekends, but I feel I don't deserve it , I just wondered what people think , is it hypocritical to accept money from parents you never liked?

Is your brother also getting the same amount?

Why are you so certain that you'll inherit anything? She may have left everything to our brother? Her home may be sold to pay for her care?

how are you paying for the home? You may have to sell the house to pay the fees.

Have you seen the will?

I don't get on with my parents either but I will take any inheritance happily as it will benefit my own dcs.

So much of my life was blighted by my dad until he cut me off at 17. If by any chance I'm in his will (I won't be) I'd spend every penny and never feel a shred of guilt.

The asshole owes me some happy memories somewhere along the way.

Yes it's hypocritical especially since it's such a large sum of money and I'm sure your brother feels particularly aggrieved that you will receive it - can't have everything in life - purposefully no contact with family but expect to benefit from what they have earned largely over the period you haven't bothered with them

Is the £200k that you expect to inherit in any way protected from the funding required for care fee homes. Just sayin?

If you and he get the same, you ought to consider handing most of yours to him. Whatever harm she did you, she need not do harm beyond the grave by driving a grievance between you and your brother.

If people leave you money, that's their choice. You don't have to feel good or bad about it.

If you inherit anything, do what you want with it. Keep it, give it to someone, donate it to Charity - it's your choice. I can't see why it's a dilemma.

If she's in a care home and self funding, I very much doubt there'll be any money left for you to inherit.
Quandry solved I'm afraid.

What Wifflewafflebiscuit says. However, you are clearly already feeling a bit guilty about event the possibility of an inheritance. Are you looking to assuage that guilt? If so, either give it to your brother, to your own children (if you have any) or donate it to charity.

I went NC with my maternal grandmother around 10 to 15 years before her death. She had been nasty, abusive and inappropriate with me all of my life. Me and my friend (for support) were the only ones at her funeral, which I had to organise, being the only family left. I inherited £17, 000 and I had this dilemma. I didn't want the money as it was from "her" estate. But then I decided yes, I would take it, as recompense for all the miserable years she provided me with. We had a holiday and had our bathroom totally remodelled. And at the end of the day, I didn't feel guilty at all.