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Ethical dilemmas

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Original poster

Relationship dilemma

13 replies

Frequentlyconfused · 11/10/2016 00:04

My boyfriend is 36 and I'm 19. So far it's been a very healthy relationship I do a lot for him and he does a lot for me. I just wanted some tips or comments about the age difference.

OP posts:

JunosRevenge · 19/11/2016 10:13

Age is just a number. If you are happy together, carry on being happy together

Aquamarine1029 · 11/01/2017 21:16

You're an adult now so who you date is your prerogative. Just stay smart and always look at your relationship with open eyes and not rose-colored glasses. If he starts trying to control you, it's time to leave and don't look back.

Jenwen22 · 05/03/2017 13:07

I was 21 when I started dating my (then) 42 yr old ex. We were together for six years, lived together and genrally did very well. In the end we broke up as we were two different people. The point is age doesn't matter and the reasons we broke up was the same as many same age couples, so long as you are happy that is all that matters. You are both adults and as such can make your own decisions; life is too short at the end of the day. Enjoy yourself and just treat it like u would any other healthy relationships xx

DurhamDurham · 05/03/2017 13:12

As the mother of a 19 year old girl I think I would find the age difference difficult to come to terms with. I just can't imagine what a 30+ man would have in common with her. I know that's a silly thing to say as everyone is different. I would wonder how long it could last and the likelihood of it being a 'success'.
As two adults you have to make your own decisions but these of my views as a mum.

ScarletFever · 05/03/2017 13:17

I just wanted some tips or comments about the age difference

Why?

LucieLucie · 23/04/2017 22:19

Up until recently Op? Has something happened to make you question things?

Personally i think it's a big age gap, he's a grown man and your obviously a very young woman in your prime.

As long as you're happy and feel safe and loved by him that's all that matters?

Handsfull13 · 05/09/2017 23:23

Your going to get some funny looks and probably at lot of questions. Your parents might not be happy about it. But if your happy it doesn't matter. I have a 14yr gap and met my dp at 21 we now have two beautiful babies and a lovely home together

Abbylee · 07/09/2017 03:19

My mother and grandmother and i all had the age difference relationships. I was lucky and married a man 2.5 years older. I often am thankful for the opportunity to laugh about the shared experiences of our youth which was impossible with Older, but the thing that all 3 of us had difficulty with was that what was new and interesting to us was "already saw/did that" to them. It gets annoying after a bit.

I found my dh 30 years ago when i was 25. "Older" was good for a while but i know that it was the right decision for us to end it. I adore growing old with dh.

My father was 12 years older and outlived my mother by several years. Life is unpredictable. Best wishes.

highinthesky · 07/09/2017 03:59

Tips? Always be honest with each other, regardless of age.

AdalindSchade · 07/09/2017 04:14

I struggle to see what a 30 something can have to connect with a teenager over and the difference in life stages and emotional maturity is vast...unless the 30 something is particularly immature, which doesn't bode well

Abbylee · 07/09/2017 05:12

I meant mother, grandmother and i all had the age difference complaint of being young and excited but our partners had already done whatever the experience was and didn't care to repeat and wouldn't although it wasn't hurting them.

The one thing that is sometimes a worry is the issue of children. Do not let him decide that for you. You are still learning about life; I'm not sure what "doing a lot" for one another entails, but listen to your instincts; my Older was passive aggressively abusive. As previous post asked, are you having questions for a reason? Take care.

FisforFamily · 07/09/2017 05:47

Zombie

smellingofroses · 29/09/2018 21:30

I was 19 when I met my partner who was then 35 I won't go in to detail but let's just say it caused absolute murder between me and parents. I could understand why they became so upset but it wasn't go to stop me from seeing him.

My parents and sisters basically treated him appallingly wouldn't even try to get to know him and told everyone it wouldn't last and I would come crawling back ( they had basically thrown me out at this point ). I was lucky my partner had just bought a new house and allowed me to move in with him as despite grief from everyone our relationship was going really well.

The key I found was give and take I would participate and involve my self in things he liked to do and vice versa ( just like a normal relationship) but admitted that we had our differences and did things separately.

We had our first baby after 2 years and eventually family and friends did the crawling and things with my family started to get back to normal when they realised he wasn't the weirdo they made him out to be. We have now been together 19 years and have 2 children and a lovely life.
Moral of my story age doesn't matter you either love each other and make it work or you don't age doesn't really come in to it.

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