Carer query

[SmugglersHaunt]

My dad recently went into long-term residential care as his needs became too great. Since then, the carer he had at home several times a day (for several years) has gone completely silent. We always had a really good relationship (or I thought we did), but the carer isn’t reading/answering messages (which aren’t requests - just asking how she is). I know she’s ok though through someone else.

Someone suggested this is normal as it’s just a job and that job has now finished. I understand that but it seems odd and a bit upsetting. I won’t bother her again but just wondered if anyone else has had similar experiences?

One of the carers for a relative even sent a wedding present to a grandchild, so it does seem odd, as all the good ones I've been aware of do seem to keep in touch (though not necessarily as much as that lovely lady!). But people are different, and maybe there's an agency policy situation or something?

Thanks - she works independently so I don’t think it’s any kind of policy thing. I guess I’ll just have to accept it for what it is. I was going to ask her if she wanted a bit of other work (paid of course) but it seems like she’s cut contact

I think it just depends on the person. One of mum's carers, the one who was with us on the day she went into hospital, added me on FB because she wanted to know how mum was doing. One of the carers in the home added me on FB. Some I still speak to in the street. I think some see their job as finishing when they clock out - doesn't make them a bad carer but maybe they don't have the energy/capacity to keep up a relationship with the families for all their clients.

I think it depends on the carer. Some of them may stay in touch, but others prefer to move on to their next clients. It is a hard job both emotionally and physically so some prefer to focus on the clients who need them now.

My mother had private agency carers at home, and there was one particular carer she was very fond of. But that carer never stayed in touch after the move to the care home, and I didn't really expect her to.

Thanks all - that’s helpful. She did say she was going to visit my dad in the home etc before she went in but obviously hasn’t mentioned anything since

My mum kept in contact with 2 of my Granny's carers for 20 years.