Moving elderly parent to be closer

[Puppymom]

My 87 year old mum has had a rough few years. After beating breast cancer we she declined and had numerous falls and ended up in a care home for over a year. I felt this wasn’t right so after a long process managed to get her home with carers visits four times daily. She has feet is and can’t walk now. I visit weekly as she is one jour train ride away.
I have always been very close with my mum. I miss her all the time and she cries when I leave. I have been thinking about moving g her closer to me which would be quite a process but very good for her as we have many family members here and she is isolated where she lives.
as she would move to anew authority I would need to ensure care is in place for her complex needs. I contacted both authorities social services and both fobbed me off which is utterly disgraceful. I read about the continuity of care which outlines how care should be provided but I feel really stuck as no one wants to help. Has anyone had any experience of this? Or who should I contact? Should I just do it and assume things will fall into place? Thanks for any input. I know some people will say life will be difficult etc but I prefer to have her close and she wants to be close too so it’s the best option.

Just saw my typos I meant she has dementia

Is living with you a possibility in the short term?

Hi no I can’t care for her as she is not mobile and is moved to and from toilet and bed using equipment and she also has a special bed. She def needs special care which I can’t provide

So are you considering moving her to a specialist care facility near to you? Or are you thinking you're going to move her into her own house/flat somewhere near you and then put in a care package? You do realise that she's likely to move from needing carer visits 4 times a day to requiring 24 hour care sometime in the probably not-too-distant future? If she needs a hoist to be moved and has dementia, she really does need to be somewhere that care can be delivered. I would agree that it will be better for her to be closer to family so you can visit more frequently, but seriously, if you're going to put her through the trauma of moving, I'd move to a care home near you.

I agree, the best place for her would be in a care home nearer to you. Otherwise you face having to move her twice within a short period which will be hard for all concerned.

Also, how you are funding her care is important. If she is self-funding, then you can just go ahead and find a suitable place for her. But if she is currently being funded by your local authority, you need to be asking adult social services in your area what the process is for that funding to be transferred to them and what they are willing to fund. Is the house she is currently living in rented or does she own it?

It sounds like she is very close to needing 24 hour care with would really be a care home facility for her own safety.
Don’t underestimate how much moving a person with Dementia out of their familiar surroundings can greatly exacerbate their condition.
If I were you I’d look at a care home with nursing facilities near you.
You can go back to being a loving daughter instead of a fraught, stressed carer.
It’s a hard road but the stress of too many moves will impact both of you and at this stage in her life you really have to think about the impact on your own mental health.
Good luck.

I’ve been through something similar. I moved my parent to a care home nearby. Their needs weren’t as complex as your mum’s, but because they were self-funding, the process was straightforward.
I simply found a local care home that could meet their needs, shared their current care plan, and arranged the move. It was even a move from England to Wales, so we were dealing with a different NHS system as well.
For us, being self-funding was really the key factor that made everything work.
I am so pleased we have done this. It has made everyone happier.

So she has dementia and is immobile. I agree that her next move should be to a care home. @SylvanMoon has outlined the process you need to go through if she is local authority funded. If she is self-funded you can simply choose a care home near you which can meet her needs, and move her there.

Personally given her high needs, I would not consider a move for her except to a care home.

Mum has been assessed and is fine at home. She is very far from needing a care home. She is cared for by carers through local authority and partially funds. Her condition is stable and there has been No talk of care homes. In fact the social services say she is safe at home as she can get up and walk off and fall. My question was about continuity of care not about care homes so I think my question has been misunderstood

When you say you have been 'fobbed off' by both local authorities what do you mean?

Neither local authority is going to actively make the arrangements to move her if she is already suitably cared for where she is already. The statutory duty they have is to ensure there is continuity in her care provision once you inform them where she will be moving to and when, but there is no duty on them to do any of the leg work of moving her just because you've decided that's what you would like.

You will need to source the new accommodation and inform her current local authority of the date she intends to move. They will then make a decision about if her ordinary residence stays with them and they will continue to fund and arrange her care, or if her OR will now be with the new local authority in which case they should provide a copy of her Care Act Assessment and support plans to the new authority and ensure there are suitable arrangements for her care in her new home.

Does she have capacity around the decisions needed to move and if not do you have LPOA?

This is confusing. In a previous post you said she is immobile and needs equipment (I'm assuming a hoist) to be moved. Here you say "she can get up and walk off and fall". Not sure exactly what you mean by that, but if she is mobile, that's good. But it still stands that she will most likely at some point need 24 hour care. Perhaps that is some way in the future, but it's more likely to be less than a decade away. You need to consider how disorientating a move will be for her. It's said that moving house for any of us is quite stressful. She'll not actually be involved in doing all the packing up and moving, but just acclimatising herself to a new environment and new carers is going to be stressful and confusing. If you move her now to a flat or house and then again to a situation where she has full-time care, you're going to cause her a lot of unnecessary stress. You say that she is stable in her current situation. You want to move her closer to you because you miss her. Even if she's fine where she is, doesn't mean she'll continue to be fine in the house you move her to. But whatever you decide, you need to find the solution yourself and then approach your local authority ASC to see if they'll do the same part-funding as she currently has. They may want a current needs assessment before agreeing to anything.

Yes I did ask both authorities and basically both said it was the responsibility of the other. I was willing to do all the leg work but obviously i don’t want to move her if we end up in a new authority with no care. I didn’t know the ordinary residence so will look into that thanks

Her ordinary residence entirely depends on her capacity and the type of accommodation she is in now and will be moving to.

Both local authorities are right in that it's neither of their responsibility to move her though, and until you have some definite plans in place neither will do anything. It's not her current local authority's duty to source care for her in the new local authority and the intended new local authority won't arrange anything until you inform them of her new address and date she will be moving.

Assuming she has capacity to agree to the move and she isn't going into specialist accommodation, her current local authority's duty is to inform her intended new local authority of the date she is moving and send over a copy of her current Care Act Assessment and support plans.

The receiving local authority when informed of her intended move (i.e new address and moving date) should try to assess her either before she arrives or as soon as possible after she arrives, but until they carry out that assessment should make arrangements for her current care package from the old local authority to be replicated at her new address.

What is it you have asked either authority to do at this stage?

Thanks for the really helpful info. I informed both that move was considered and what should do regarding g the care package as I want to be sure it’s all continuous but was j told me to asK the other so I got stuck and didn’t know how to proceed. I will of course do everything but I just thought I should ask to be sure I don’t miss anything

I do appreciate it probably all seems a bit disorganised.

The 'receiving' local authority will put a care package in but they may only tell you the details a few days before she moves.

Most care agencies can't work weeks/months in advance it will just be who has availabilty to start at her new address from the date it needs to start.

No one will do anything though until you have sorted accommodation and a move date.

You haven't answered if she has capacity or not and if you have LPOA or not. If she lacks capacity and you don't have LPOA then you will need to go to court for financial deputyship to end her current tenancy/sell her house and to sign any legal documents for her new accommodation.

Why don't you try to get her into an extra care flat near you, they often have carers on site and are run by housing associations. I'd look for a suitable place for her to move to and organise that first. Worse case scenario if they don't sort out carers is that she will land in hospital near you and social services will be forced to provide her care package to free up the bed (I know that sounds unethical but completely understand how relatives can get the run around in the community by everyone trying to abdicate responsibility). I'd also take her bed and equipment with you, better to ask for forgiveness than permission😉 plead ignorance!!

Honestly, she would be better in a dementia care home. It must be very isolating for her to spend most of her days alone, and will be even more so if you do mover her.
Find her a care home nearby where you can visit her regularly and let her live her final years in the company of others, being looked after.

It sounds like Adult Social Care part fund the care so OP can only do that if she personally can afford to pay the difference between the cost of care at home and the cost of residential care, unless the council agrees residential care is the only option. She can't use her mum's funds to pay the difference.

We have been down that road before. She didn’t do well and was assessed as not needing such care and was later sent home. She is doing well in her own home and we are considering options of staying here or moving. Currently ok in own home so we might wait a bit longer and see how it goes

I weekly visit my mum and helps out. Her carers say she is looked after better than many who are totally alone with no family. Being isolated is not a reason to go to a care home. Mum did so badly when she was there for a year. She’s a reserved quiet lady and others were screaming and hitting and it was really upsetting for her. Definitely not in a hurry to go down that road again

Hi OP
I realise you wanted to continue at-home care. But I (and some others) doubt that moving her in that circumstance is a good idea.

You say Social Services say she is fine with care at home. Part of the reason they say that is because it is cheaper than a care home. If that suits you and your mum then that is fine. But unfortunately while she may be coping now, if you move her to a new property near you with different carers, she may well deteriorate.

I realise you want her nearer to you, but she is frail with high care needs, and it may not work out as well as you hope.

I would agree with this and it is why I keep querying capacity and LPOA.

Yes I agree with you. She is doing well at home and we will probably keep her here for longer as it’s not worth rocking the boat x

I have LPOA and mum has capacity and makes some decisions but for big matters it’s down to me. Which is why I queried but many of the responses helped me so thank you. Things are ok and she’s happy enough. In hindsight a move would have been good ten years ago. We never know or imagine what might happen in the future. X