Moving elderly parent to be closer

[Puppymom]

My 87 year old mum has had a rough few years. After beating breast cancer we she declined and had numerous falls and ended up in a care home for over a year. I felt this wasn’t right so after a long process managed to get her home with carers visits four times daily. She has feet is and can’t walk now. I visit weekly as she is one jour train ride away.
I have always been very close with my mum. I miss her all the time and she cries when I leave. I have been thinking about moving g her closer to me which would be quite a process but very good for her as we have many family members here and she is isolated where she lives.
as she would move to anew authority I would need to ensure care is in place for her complex needs. I contacted both authorities social services and both fobbed me off which is utterly disgraceful. I read about the continuity of care which outlines how care should be provided but I feel really stuck as no one wants to help. Has anyone had any experience of this? Or who should I contact? Should I just do it and assume things will fall into place? Thanks for any input. I know some people will say life will be difficult etc but I prefer to have her close and she wants to be close too so it’s the best option.

Just saw my typos I meant she has dementia

Is living with you a possibility in the short term?

Hi no I can’t care for her as she is not mobile and is moved to and from toilet and bed using equipment and she also has a special bed. She def needs special care which I can’t provide

So are you considering moving her to a specialist care facility near to you? Or are you thinking you're going to move her into her own house/flat somewhere near you and then put in a care package? You do realise that she's likely to move from needing carer visits 4 times a day to requiring 24 hour care sometime in the probably not-too-distant future? If she needs a hoist to be moved and has dementia, she really does need to be somewhere that care can be delivered. I would agree that it will be better for her to be closer to family so you can visit more frequently, but seriously, if you're going to put her through the trauma of moving, I'd move to a care home near you.

I agree, the best place for her would be in a care home nearer to you. Otherwise you face having to move her twice within a short period which will be hard for all concerned.

Also, how you are funding her care is important. If she is self-funding, then you can just go ahead and find a suitable place for her. But if she is currently being funded by your local authority, you need to be asking adult social services in your area what the process is for that funding to be transferred to them and what they are willing to fund. Is the house she is currently living in rented or does she own it?

It sounds like she is very close to needing 24 hour care with would really be a care home facility for her own safety.
Don’t underestimate how much moving a person with Dementia out of their familiar surroundings can greatly exacerbate their condition.
If I were you I’d look at a care home with nursing facilities near you.
You can go back to being a loving daughter instead of a fraught, stressed carer.
It’s a hard road but the stress of too many moves will impact both of you and at this stage in her life you really have to think about the impact on your own mental health.
Good luck.

I’ve been through something similar. I moved my parent to a care home nearby. Their needs weren’t as complex as your mum’s, but because they were self-funding, the process was straightforward.
I simply found a local care home that could meet their needs, shared their current care plan, and arranged the move. It was even a move from England to Wales, so we were dealing with a different NHS system as well.
For us, being self-funding was really the key factor that made everything work.
I am so pleased we have done this. It has made everyone happier.