Sending 
Does the live in carer you currently have have experience with palliative care at home in the UK?
DF’s arranged an awful lot, and confidently badgered the GP surgery to provide many items he needed, some of which they’d refused to prescribe before, telling me to buy - both before he needed palliative care and after.
Including ensures drinks, inco pants & pads, barrier creams and dressings before, then later drinks thickeners, sliding sheets etc.
She also pushed for his GP to do a home visit, week before he died, so that he could sign the death certificate. I think she said it needed to be done within his last month/weeks? or he’d need the coroner report- I don’t recall exactly but she was quite forceful in getting that home visit.
Existing carer and I filled the ‘all about me’ form for new live in carers.
We arranged hospital discharge with help from PALs - were some hospital issues before his discharge. We had a bed arrive the morning after discharge agreed. His transport took a little longer, I later found out I could have paid for private ambulance service to get him home faster.
Bed was arranged and installed, very quickly, nurses brought EOL drugs, and we bought everything else we needed like over bed table, bed bath necessities, quick dry bedding, baby monitor, sippy cups . It was a few years ago, I remember being frequently dispatched to nearest large supermarket with a random list of things.
We moved his furniture to the garage before bed arrived to make room, friends helped.
It was the GP surgery social prescriber who arranged CHC funding for a second live in carer.
Once approved CHC covered the cost of certainly one, IIRC both, live in carers, for his final days. But it took about 4 months with much chasing to be reimbursed those costs. So keep all carer bills filed well & scanned, they requested them many times despite approving the costs the day after his hospital discharge. Social Presciber also filled in Attendance Allowance change to overnight care rate form.
While in the end DF and I could afford his EOL care, we had no idea how long it could take, and the costs mounted very quickly. So even if you say you fortunately don’t need it now, ask someone to fill in the forms for you - ask the hospital to help?
District nurses were already attending regularly for home blood tests and dressing changes before his last hospital admission so we knew them well. They administered the drugs he needed, sometimes appeared randomly, latterly had to be called.
Unfortunately we and his carers never pushed for a morphine driver or similar, I didn’t know to ask, in the end the EOL drug bag was never used, but we did have to wait for DNs to come out when he was agitated, usually in the early hours, and needed more medication. Which was a shame, and distressing to watch whilst waiting. Perhaps it wouldn’t have helped, he did have a habit of pulling off wires and IVs when confused in hospital.
It was mostly his two carers, I would go home at night, and often be summoned back in the small hours. Occasionally other family visited, and sometimes I got another agency carer into help for an hour so we could all have a break.
As for help for family, I cried on my/his GP and his Social Presciber rather a lot, during and after his last hospital admission, and was prescribed anti depressants. I arranged and paid my own, very necessary, therapist. The last hospital stay was traumatic, for me and him, for many reasons.
My essay makes it sound like my DF was home for months. I think it was less than a month. He rallied a couple of times. We had family members fly in to see him and say goodbye. He sat up one day and requested a beer. We watched some tennis, listened to music, had cats visiting. And other days I helped change his inco pads, while he just moaned and tried to hit me. It was exhausting, but I’m glad I made him as happy and comfortable as possible.
At the time I hadn’t been to a hospice, have since to visit a good friend, and I think I would prefer one for me if needed. I wouldn’t want my DH or children to care for me in the same way. Plus the drugs. He should have had more when needed and I do regret that.
Whatever you and your family decide, I wish you strength and peace. There isn’t an easy way, you just try to make it easier.