Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Elderly parents

Dad dating soon after mum died is upsetting and affecting our relationship

128 replies

beckstar2021 · 25/03/2026 15:28

hi all, So parents were married 40+ years, mum passed away last year after a short illness. A few months later dad is looking for a new partner he found one they dated it didn’t work out. So he’s back looking again, he’s posting his photo on socials, joining all the online dating sites locally. Every single time you speak to him he is on about women. I find this very disrespectful & it’s screaming desperate and it is starting to make me resent him & not want to see him. I feel as if mum didn’t matter, & them 40years were nothing, i just feel like he is being very selfish.
I understand he may get lonely but he is still of good health and can be very active , we have suggested many things taken him to find social clubs etc , & he wants female company not male!
I really don’t like the way i am starting to feel towards him, i never hear from him unless i call or chase up, i never get a how are you it’s just all so very self absorbed.
Has anyone else experienced this with a parent when their other parent has been bereaved? i feel like i could scream sometimes!!!!

OP posts:
ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 10/04/2026 17:16

MrsM2025 · 09/04/2026 22:29

When I started OLD (3 years after DH died) I started dating again and the first date I went on the guy told me his wife had died (I knew this bit) but…. 6 weeks before!! Yes there would have been some anticipatory grief but really!

Did your shock show on your face??

Lukilols · 10/04/2026 17:39

MrsM2025 · 09/04/2026 22:29

When I started OLD (3 years after DH died) I started dating again and the first date I went on the guy told me his wife had died (I knew this bit) but…. 6 weeks before!! Yes there would have been some anticipatory grief but really!

Yikes!

(Some) men are scary! This is why I said upthread that I asked the one widower I spoke to online how long ago did his wife die.

It might seem like a personal question straight off the bat but unfortunately I couldn’t just assume.

OnGoldenPond · 11/04/2026 12:36

My GF got married again less than a year after my GM died. They were engaged within 6 months of her death. I strongly suspect, looking back, he was seeing her for some time before GM died, especially after recent revelations from DM that she was aware as a child of his multiple affairs. Even back then as a teenager I knew it was off and avoided them both.

OP, in your case it is casual dating so unlikely he was seeing any of them before your DM’s death. Sadly, a lot of older men don’t seem to be able to function independently and immediately set off on a quest for a replacement caretaker as soon as the original one is no longer around. Did your DM do most of the domestic stuff? It would certainly make me lose some respect for him.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page