My mum climbed out the window!

[Hellacute]

this is not going to be perfectly coherent - got a call from my moms neighbour that she she knocked on his door at 6am. He brought her back and the house was locked. He called me and I ran up and used my key.

the Key was inside and the back door was locked so I was really confused. Mom thought she was in hospital and mentioned that she climbed out a window in the hospital to get out so I checked and she climbed out a window at home (she hasn’t been in hospital).

what do I do now. She’s 83 ans lives alone. I’ve got a call in to get her seen by southdoc to see if it’s maybe an infection.

You take her home with you? Get her seen by a doctor today?

She needs to be seen, it could be an infection or something more serious.

UTIs can cause confusion and are common in older ladies.

I’ve got her home with me right now but she won’t stay here overnight. Plus it’s a 2 bed house with 2 kids, I have nowhere to put her.

Get her seen by a dr today - hopefully it’ll be something reversible like a UTI but also put in an urgent adult social services referral.

If she’s not safe to be alone at home and there is nobodywho can stay with her or have her to stay with them, she may need to be admitted - either to hospital or an emergency respite placement.

Can you fit new catches on the windows so she can't open them enough to get out. It might be a good temporary soloution.

OP, it really doesn’t sound as though your elderly parent should be living alone, if at six o’clock in the morning, she is bothering neighbours because she thinks she’s escaped from hospital. You are going to have to think about what measures you can put in place to keep her safe. Does she see anyone during the day? Do you have siblings who could become more involved? Sadly, at her age, the situation is only likely to get worse. I hope for your sake it’s a UTI, because that really can lead to confusion and out of character behaviour - but you are going to have to think about what help can be put in place for her, if she’s not safe living alone.

Has her cognition been declining for a while or has this totally come out of the blue?

Does she still think she’s in Hospital or is very confused? It may be delirium.

You can buy these, they’re really easy to fit they just screw into the window frame with self tapping screws, so you can still open for airflow but they stop the full opening. Not sure if somewhere like Robert Dyas sells them so you could install today.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Restrictor-Windows-Children-Security-Alevial/dp/B0FLMHB3W9/ref=sr_1_3_sspa?crid=2DCB0AIWNB6CY&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.s0m0sZp9MclXj7yTZY8LQk9isHFs0PWrnWRENplmUbagseMAW5YR5uCfm3TYrC0zLhIs4RqUb6gHb_6WvzzKlnlU_6DW6t6HWud2X2JAC095afh-yrGY-9YUCbwuft9UTcE5kP1eUIh6i1k2n_-HAjScwdw98X6QYFluyI5t1mgmglZ5PQ6UCqFQKkYiyE_ivAJakWhKe8dj65acZGeCwXPCmBZ2EZ373yYfBHn6rS18XFPx67Yck1zQeGnvLKF62ItJ5FX9Ux_v7V2PE2Q2zbq-SQS3b_RiDBykFN_dsIQ.qJFUdEDi0vpfOu39I6OeUsH_UzmiScTts0S7OJ2GIKM&dib_tag=se&keywords=window+locks+child+safety+no+drill&qid=1766911402&sprefix=Window+locks%2Caps%2C193&sr=8-3-spons&aref=bH7vTuism4&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9hdGY&psc=1

If she has to be returned home in the short term while you work out a solution, invest in some of these:
Get a simple key window lock put on the window
Put an air tag on her clothes.
Get a cheap Wi-Fi camera.
Get her a dog tag necklace with your contact details.
Now that she’s s a ‘flight risk’ you may have to consider a care home setting for her.
My friend’s dad was found 9 miles away once and my own DM carried a cup
of tea 400 m across a communal
courtyard. It is a really difficult stage.

Thanks all. I’m in Ireland so nothing is open today. Got her seen by south doc (doctors who are on call outside of regular doctor hours) and got antibiotics for a kidney infection.

im an only child and mom would never voluntarily go into a home.

i visit her daily and until now she’s been managing very well. Can wash and dress herself, puts down a fire and microwaves dinners, uses the washing machine.

If she has a UTI and has been put on antibiotics don't be surprised if some confusion continues intermittently for a few days after the course of antibiotics has been finished.

Earlier this year, an elderly family member who is not usually confused developed acute symptoms of UTI with delirium and hospitalised for 4 days on IV antibiotics. They were discharged home but were still having brief episodes of confusion for several days afterwards, especially at night when they were tired. A UTI in the elderly can also affect balance and ability to walk.

If you’re in Ireland do they do the Herbert Protocol? It’s basically a form that sets out where they like to go if they are out “she usually catch the bus at the stop in Todmorden Road to Warrington Bus Station” or “she walks into town and goes to the Butchers and Post Office every Thursday”. It’s basically all of the info the Police will neex to start to look for her if she escapes again but goes missing. We kept DMILs on our phones along with a recent photo. Luckily yhe last time she went missing before she went into a Care Home she was lied past our house talking to a lovely chap who was trying to help her find her way home.

Considering she climbed out a window and walked a decent distance on a country road in the dark I think her walking ability and balance are fine! (If I don’t laugh I’ll cry!)

Also are you able to be there when its time for her to take her antibiotics or is there an alternative plan to ensure she takes them?

Another thing to consider with your DM is she escaping because she just wants to go visit someone and is blissfully unaware of the time? Or is she escaping because she’s angry the doors are locked?

Or a horrendous fire risk.

You can install window alarms but you can not stop them from being used as an escape route.

Would that be a fire hazard?

Not sure if it exists but not sure if it would be any good if it did. Mom lives on a country road so it just depends on turning left or right. Or takes off across the field!

She thought she was visiting someone in hospital and couldn’t find her way out. She was going to her childhood home I think.

You mustn't lock her in her home on her own, its too dangerous. She isn't safe at home at the moment and needs an urgent assessment. You might arrange a few days respite care in an appropriate place initially
since you have no room for her. Or all of you move in with her? Do hope its a temporary thing that can be sorted with medication.

If i were you I’d ensure somehow that your mum cannot wander outside by herself again. This happened to my friend’s gran when we were kids. She left the house one night and was missing for a few weeks and was later found miles down the local river. It was of course harrowing for all involved and I’m not saying it’s bound to happen but I couldn’t not mention this. My friend is still raw about this decades later.

Is there a neighbour you can ask to keep an eye out if they see her wandering? My Dad lives rurally (so his neighbour is a field away!), but when Dad was poorly I chapped on their door, explained the situation, gave them my number and asked them if they wouldn't mind keeping an eye out for signs of life (as they pass his cottage).

The neighbours are brilliant. My BIL is actually her closest neighbour (still a field away) and on the other side are the ones who brought her home last night.

Good neighbours worth their weight in gold!!

Hopefully the ABs will kick in quickly. UTIs can cause significant confusion, so fingers crossed she's back to her usual self ASAP.