My mum climbed out the window!

[Hellacute]

this is not going to be perfectly coherent - got a call from my moms neighbour that she she knocked on his door at 6am. He brought her back and the house was locked. He called me and I ran up and used my key.

the Key was inside and the back door was locked so I was really confused. Mom thought she was in hospital and mentioned that she climbed out a window in the hospital to get out so I checked and she climbed out a window at home (she hasn’t been in hospital).

what do I do now. She’s 83 ans lives alone. I’ve got a call in to get her seen by southdoc to see if it’s maybe an infection.

Is there a tele care system where you live? Ours is run by the council and they’re really responsive. As well as being for falls, connected to smoke alarms etc the system can have alarms put on doors and windows to alert nominated people that they have been opened. Lots of people just have them for hours of darkness but it can be 24/7

I know you’ve not said you’re doing this but locking people in or restricting window opening is unsafe and considered a deprivation of liberty.

I got a container from the gp today so I’m sorted for that but not sure how much a clean catch it will be.

I have my mum in respite care as she escaped her house and was breaking in to next door's car. It was not the first time that she had been wandering. As much as I hated doing it I know that she is now safe )and has since been diagnosed with dementia). She didn't want to go but I persuaded her that is was respite - she actually really likes it now she is there and is mostly happy.

Had the same with dad when he had a UTI which ended up as sepsis. He was delivered to me by a neighbour as he had been looking for his motorbike.

That sounds brilliant. Just had a quick look and it looks like it does exist here so need to look into it.

Sorry to read about your difficulties. Hopefully it’s not the start of cognitive issues. When my DM was at that stage (also in Ireland) , the public health nurse knew of someone locally who could sleep in the house Monday-Friday for a reasonable fee. There are also organisations where people will live in during the week. Weekends are much harder to get cover and I did that myself (not an only child but my DSis was very ill at the time and my DB lived abroad) Baby monitor with a movement sensor will help you keep on eye at night but it doesn’t sound like your DM can be left alone at night for much longer, especially not when she has this UTI. Of course she doesn’t want to go into a nursing home(no one does) but she does need a lot more assistance than previously. Get a few AirTags for the lining of her coat/the bottom of her handbag to help you track her down if she disappears again.

Ok, no worries. Maybe just let the GP know that clean catch may have been an issue, as they might find certain bacteria. 👍

To get a mid stream sample will she cooperate by using a jug?
You could use a plastic measuring jug from the kitchen. Make sure it is absolutely clean. Maybe scald with boiling water.
And dry with paper towel.
Best if she will let you assist her in getting the sample. Might be a bit tricky for an elderly unwell person to manage alone.
Begin as usual urinating into toilet then without stopping thrust the jug under the flow to catch a mid stream sample.
Finish as usual into the toilet. Transfer sample into specimen container.
Seal tightly. Date etc. Bag.
Store in fridge.
You may want to designate that jug the bathroom one . . .

I'm sorry you are facing all this.
She is obviously going to need a lot more input and supervision.
She doesn't sound safe to he left all day and night alone.
Is she still using open fires?

Haven't read the full thing but is there anyway she might wear/ carry a tracker or a phone with location sharing active?

Well dropped a urine sample to the GP today and they called me before I’d even made it home that there was no kindney infection in the dip but they’d send to the lab to double check.

The doc is going to refer her to an elderly service that will give her a full MOT basically and go through all her meds.

Until then it’s a matter of keeping her safe.

Well done @Hellacute. Let’s hope the MOT is useful.
How are you coping in the meantime? x

Fairly stressed because I can’t spend 24 hours a day there (and she doesn’t want me to) so calling into her about 5 times a day instead.

the doctor knows I’m an only child and was asking would she accept home help but she won’t.

You will be run ragged, OP, especially as your DM sounds relatively young. Sending some virtual support for you.
Sadly. there is an army of us whose parents refuse(d) to accept any help or care in situ.
It's bummer it wasn't a UTI. Obviously she's had an escalation to add this new behaviour into the mix.
FWIW, I think you are wise trying to return her to her own home with as many extra measures and preventions in place. It is well worth exploring this option as the alternatives will be even less acceptable to DM.

She’s actually 83! So not young but obviously a lot more flexible and hardy than I thought to get out a window!

Yes, all power to your DM. I want to be able to climb out windows at 83. Thats a new life goal for me.

So called today to get broadband installed, they said 3 to 5 days. Then figure out cameras etc.

How are you doing? My DM always used to say 'never trust a 2-year-old'. Eventually Dsis and I used to joke 'never trust a 81-yr-old'. You've got a tough gig.

Thanks for asking! I’m currently at mums house waiting for the broadband installation. Need to figure out how to position it so she won’t try and plug it out!

The MOT the doctor has referred her to doesn’t have appointments until March apparently but I’ve put her on the cancellation list.

Yes, DMiL unplugged everything and also started tampering with boiler. My DSil used a warning hazard style printed tape to discourage her from unplugging but fortunately she then exiled herself upstairs for 18 months and the boiler and cooker were spared her attention. It's a slippery slope, sadly.

I’ve got baby proofing socket covers and a box for an outdoor extension that I can use inside that she wouldn’t be able to open. So fingers crossed.