If a parent goes into a care home will the LA come for some of the money from the sale of their house?

[Thebluespoon]

Once the remaining partner (who is currently living in the house) dies?

I am not sure if I should have placed this thread in the Money matters section but thought there may be some people on here who have gone through this.

I am a bit confused following a meeting with my parents finanical advisor.

Mum has Alzheimer;'s, it's been 7 years since her diagnosis. She lives at home with my dad and between my dad, my sister and myself we have been helping to look after her. However, following an awful fall in June and subsequent hospital stay mum's dementia has progressed rapidly and she is now double incontinent and can only walk aided and even that is tricky. We now have private carers who come in 3 times a day.

We are hoping to keep mum at home for as long as possible but we are aware we are on borrowed time and there will come a point when the home carers are not enough and we will not be able to cope, at this point we will have no choice but to look into care homes.

Mum and dad have investments. Because of mum's recent change in circumstances Dad and I had a meeting with his financial advisor yesterday. My parents investments were changed after mum's diagnosis in 2018 and most of them are now in dad's name (all done under the financial advisor's advice). There is a fairly good chunk under mum's name but this wouldn't last too long if mum went into a care home tbh.

The financial advisor said as soon as mum's investments fall to below the £23,250 threshold the LA will step in and pay (obviously that will be after a full assessment).

Mum and dad own their own home and I know the LA can not force any sale of the house whilst dad is alive and resisding there but I was under the belief that if dad were to die or mum ran up a care bill which exceeded the amount she has in investments then the LA can take the remainding figure from the sale of the house (after dad passes away or if he were to die whilst mum is still in care). The financial advisor says this would not happen.

I am a bit confused as I hear constant stories of people in care homes having to sell their homes to pay for the fees or a large chunk taken out from the sale of a house once the remaining partner passes away and leaves the house empty.

Does anyone have any experience of this sort of issue?

Should also add that my dad's side of things are all in trusts, this was set up by their solicitor.

Try not to worry your dad won't be made homeless. However, he may need to go into a home one day so you'll be paying for both. Our council expect the house to be sold at this stage.

Please bear in mind that it is possible that your mum may not be accepted in a residential home but might need a nursing home with her level of care needs. And you have to factor in potential deterioration (sorry) as you do not want her being moved around once she is settled, if the home cannot meet her needs.

Some residential and nursing homes have special facilities for people with dementia, so look out for that.

I haven't once said we are trying to avoid paying anything.

Every financial decision we have made has been based on the legal advice given to us by the solicitor and FA (they are not connected to each other in any way).

We are in England and have always assumed (and hoped) all the information and advice we have been given by the FA and solicitor has been legal and correct.

Tbh, after 7 long years I could really do with getting my own life back on track. As sad as I will be to see mum in care as long as it's good care and she is happy then I can't ask for more than that.

That's my worry and as she is nearer to the advanced stages of her Alzheimer's journey we will definitely be looking at care homes with nursing facilities.

Do they? We have never been asked for anything other than present finances. I suppose if they suspect deprivation they might check but there is no time limit for that.

I fail to see why my comment was pulled? If someone was deliberately trying to get out of paying care fees in order to pass on a massive inheritance then that would be out of order. And I wasn't the only one to say it.

I understand OP is just going along with her dad's wishes but it's on morally shaky ground.

OP, I feel for you, having been in similar situations twice so far.
My FIL had dementia, but also lung cancer. He was awarded CHC because of his medical needs, and because his prognosis was that he had less than 12 weeks to life, so essentially needed end of life care.
Sadly, he only lasted 7 weeks.

My mother had dementia, but as she was 99, I was told that they don't give a dementia diagnosis to anyone over 90. This is to avoid any funding issues, so we weren't able to claim anything. My father had died several years earlier, so my mother's house had to be sold to pay for her care. As I looked after her finances, it fell to me to complete all the forms for the financial assessment. They did go back seven years, and we had to pay the full care costs for the 2.5 years she lived there.

My best advice when looking at care homes. Ignore the posh carpets and curtains. Take notice of the smell of the place. Talk to staff, especially the manager, who can make or break a place. And speak to the local vicar, who is likely to be a regular visitor. I spoke to one who said she had stopped visiting one home as the staff just used her as a babysitter whilst they went for a smoke break!

Good luck OP.

So basically you want to avoid paying for any care associated with your mother and have others pay for her care even though your parents have investments are other assets. So someone with no assets taxed on their job should pay towards your mother's costs - so you can spend it all on yourself maybe?

Morally wrong but lots of people with money/assets etc don't want to pay from their money/assets and want others to pay instead, including people with little in assets paying tax so that an inheritance can be passed on. It's a greed filled world we live in.

Indeed it does. Double standards at play.

It's likely she may need a secure dementia wing.
My MIL spent her last months there (she was under a Section so the LA paid).
The wing is part of the home that my FIL is in and I did note that there was more continuity of care in the dementia wing. I suppose they require staff with higher levels of training and thus it is easier to retain staff.
Despite my FIL's £8000 monthly fees the turn over of staff is huge. They might get fabric napkins and fresh flowers in the foyer but you never know who'll be caring for him from one week to the next.

No. Nobody would want to pay tens of thousands for care if they could possibly avoid it, and neither would you I suspect.

And you have given up work, bringing all the implications of that, to care for your DM.

Blimey people are self righteous, unpleasant and tone deaf on the internet aren’t they? Any excuse to put the boot into a woman who has given up her job to care for her very ill mother and is just looking for advice

slow handclaps all round

Someone already mentioned it here but the biggest issue is that she goes into a care home that you have all chosen fit for her, she pays with her own money and then that runs out, and then the LA have the right to move her into a crappier care home which is cheaper. And trust me u do not want that and you'll struggle to have a say. So I reckon you're dad might end up paying for her care home anyway if he wants her to stay in the care home he chose for her. If not, then, well I'm not gonna say what kind of man he would be.

OP, my mum is in a care home. She is self-funding after selling her house (not that she's particularly aware as she also has Alzheimer's 😔)
Anyway, she has enough money to fund 3 years in a very nice care home which is walking distance from my house. The care home said that if the time comes that the LA have you start finding her care, it is highly unlikely that they will move her from a place where she is comfortable and has resided for so long. They said they'd never seen that happen.

She gets a contribution to her care fees (about 10%) after an LA assessment, due to her care needs, but she doesn't qualify for full CHC, even though she's chair-bound and partially incontinent along with many other health issues including the dementia. It's very hard to get it fully funded on health grounds.

All that said, she's very happy in there and it has taken the pressure off me no end. I was so stressed because she was falling over multiple times a day and even though she had carers 3 times a day, I could not cope.

Good luck OP.

Just to say OP, my mum is in a care home, and it’s lovely. My dad struggled with this, he felt he was letting her and us down by admitting he couldn’t cope, and not helped as they’d moved to a different location far away from me /my brother, which meant mum rally had to go in a care home earlier than she would have done if they lived near me/my brother and we could help out.

It’s been great for my mum, she’s benefitted from their care. We are in a different position as my mum has assets /income enough to cover the care home without looking at their joint house for at least the next 10 years. (And frankly that seems unlikely to be a point we reach). But my dad has recently changed his will and left everything split between me and my brother, cutting my mum out. If dad was to die before her (not crazy thought as he has his own health issues), the house would be sold, her share would go in the bank to be added to the funds being run down, dads share would come to me and DB.

Your mum doesn’t have to inherit from your dad, it’s worth having that awkward conversation.

Obviously I don't know your mother's medical details. But dementia care - washing, dressing, continence care, help with eating, drinking and mobilisation - comes under social care, not nursing care. What you need is a dementia care home.

The last year of her life my mother was immobile, doubly incontinent, unable to feed, drink, wash or mobilise herself, and her dementia care home were able to deal with all of it.

Dementia care homes have a GP/nurse visiting regularly, but no on-site nurse. If your mother does have additional medical needs which require a nurse constantly present, you would need a dementia nursing home. They are few and far between. But from what you have said, that isn't necessary.

My DM's care home has different wings/floors: Residential, Nursing, Dementia. DM started in Residential but then had to be moved to Nursing as her health declined. I doubt she will end up in Dementia as she needs nursing care.

In terms of how it looks, there isn't much difference between Residential and Nursing. The rooms are identical. The main difference is that there is a nurse 24/7 plus greater 'oversight'.

My personal selection criteria were that it would need to be somewhere purpose built and reasonably easy to get to (DB doesn't drive).

This filtered out the converted Edwardian vicarage: dodgy plumbing and never looked sanitary in the pictures! Noticeably these were always cheaper with low CQC ratings. This is possibly specific to my area.

I do understand how hard it is to be dealing with all this - it is not must the practical considerations, but the emotional too.

It was a huge wrench to admit that I could no longer look after my OH, but when it came to it, it was clear that he got much better care in the nursing home than I was able to give him.

you're dad might end up paying for her care home anyway if he wants her to stay in the care home he chose for her. If not, then, well I'm not gonna say what kind of man he would be.

Someone who still needs a roof over his own head, and possibly has care needs of his own by that time?

Jesus there are some unpleasant people on this thread.

Assuming the house is in joint ownership, if he requires care, sells the house out of choice or dies whilst she is in a care home then her assets (house) will go into her pot so the council can stop paying. I’d also caution you that if assets were moved from her ownership after she was diagnosed then the council can take them into account even more than 7 years on as it’s deprivation of assets, there is no time limitation (the 7 years is for inheritance tax). I suggest you get advice from an organisation who specialists in this rather than a FA who is more experienced in hiding money

You gave up your job? Your parents really let you do that, to the point of near breakdown?!
They have investments you say. Have they been paying into a pension for you?