What a day to die!

[cheesecurdsandgravy]

FIL died today at noon. He had been on end of life care (diazepam and morphine) since yesterday morning following a sudden decline and admission Monday morning due to heart failure and a chest infection.

practicalities and problems… 5 days to register death. Death certificate won’t be issued until Friday as whoever organises paperwork at the hospital is off until then. Can’t book a registrars appointment until that paperwork is done. I presume that in cases like this (when everything is rightly closed!) we aren’t going to add to our stresses if we can’t get an appointment booked until Monday?!

MIL getting antsy as “nobody is returning her calls”. Again, I don’t see why funeral directors aren’t entitled to Christmas off and I think the vicar is busy today…! But, I get that she needs to feel she’s doing something - she knows that FILs body will remain at the hospital safely, but it’s not where she wants it to be, and she can’t see him as (you guessed it) the mortuary is closed for Christmas! I’m deep breathing through it and providing regular food and hot drinks…

anything else I can do?!

Registering the death
Someone needs to register the death within 5 days - unless a coroner is investigating the death. A relative should usually register the death. It’s a criminal offence not to register a death.

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/death-and-wills/what-to-do-after-a-death/

Nodancingshoes

the 5 days is to register the death and obtain the death certificate, it’s different if a PM is required by the coroner

Aa explained several times upthread, for a death in hospital the countdown does not start on the day of the death but on the day the hospital issues the medical certificate. Please do not post info.that is likely to alarm the OP and is misleading in these specific circumstances.

Sorry for your loss. Just here to say the same about the five days to register the death. My DM passed away last month, the hospital registrar said the five day ‘rule’ was written many years ago and hardly anyone registers within that time scale. The timeframes from getting the go ahead to getting an appointment to register the death doesn’t happen that quickly. Please don’t worry.

To add to the good information already provided we had a family death a few years ago on Christmas Eve, the coroner was briefly involved and a PM but we were not able to have the funeral until the second week in Feb. As others have said, we seem to have a problem in England and really things should be able to be sorted out far quicker. Ireland its two days which is quick but surely 10 days if there are no complications is feasible. And get lots of death certificates it makes things much easier.

You don't need lots of certificates these days. That used to be the case, but the majority of things can be done online now. We've only needed 2 (and could have got away with 1, but wanted a 'main' copy immediately filed and never touched and 1 to take out and about for the few places that need to see it in person) for the most recent death we dealt with.

Don't stress about the timings. DH died over a holiday period and we weren't able to get the death certificate for a couple of weeks. The registration appointment took even longer. No problems at all. It will be fine.

Sorry for your loss. Please don't worry about any delays this time of year. DM died on the thursday eve before Easter which delayed the necessary paperwork to get her death certificates and transfer her from the hospital mortuary to the Funeral Director. The FD was very supportive. The registrar did raise an eyebrow at the delay but they had a waiting room of grieving relatives in exactly the same position as us.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't offer much advice but I did find that walking, especially near water really helped my after the death of my DF.

I don't know if you get DMIL to go on a walk with you tomorrow? A change of scene and being outside might help her a little

Having done this recently, our funeral director reassured us that the 5 day rule has been officially a thing of the past since Covid. It took around two weeks to get the death registered, IIRC. In the end, because of holidays and so on, it was nearly six weeks from the death to the funeral, but we were all glad of that time - it meant there was enough time to think about music and readings, visit potential venues etc.

I do slightly disagree with a PP about copies of the death certificate, though - I was surprised how many organisations demanded a paper copy, so it was useful to have plenty. I think we had ten, and definitely needed at least half of those.

Thanks again everyone for your kindness, support and for answering your own sad experiences. We managed to register FIL’s death today.

In case anyone comes looking the same information I wanted in their time of need, our time line was.

25/12 death in hospital - informed that the bereavement office would be in touch ASAP but that this would be delayed by Christmas and Boxing Days.
27/12 contact with bereavement office in hospital who said they would get the examiner’s report done ASAP.
30/12 medical examiners report issued and shared with registry office by hospital
31/12 registered death

FIL’s funeral will be in a couple of weeks.

thanks again for your support, wishing you all a peaceful 2025.

Wishing you all the best op 💞 my mum died very young in February and her death wasn’t registered for 2 weeks! I worried and worried after reading about the 5 days but our registry office didn’t physically have any available appointments. When I worried about it they said I wouldn’t be in trouble and couldn’t be as it was them that didn’t have appointments and it’s there as a guideline so people register as soon as possible. I hope that gives reassurance to anyone else in the same situation