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Elderly parents

So bloody exhausted waiting for someone to die 4

656 replies

StiffyByngsDogBartholomew · 25/11/2024 10:14

continuing from our last thread

www.mumsnet.com/talk/elderly_parents/5036546-so-bloody-exhausted-waiting-for-someone-to-die-3?page=40&reply=140073671

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kippersmum · 18/09/2025 23:59

@Totallybannanas reading your journey so far has helped me more than you will ever know. I'm not on my own but complicated family dynamics certainly makes me feel like I am. I feel sorry for not posting sooner but I just couldn't. Sending you so much love from someone who absolutely gets where you are. Thank you

SinisterBumFacedCat · 19/09/2025 10:56

Redburnett · 18/09/2025 22:05

I have no idea why people keep on talking as though the assisted dying bill will help in cases of people with dementia. It won't.

It’s a start in the right direction. So many of us have witnessed the worst of it in our parents I hope that one day we will be able to do advance directives requesting assisted dying if you are diagnosed with dementia and crucially at what point you would like to go. My DM had a few good years, I was basically at her beck and call running around organising everything, but she was still enjoying shopping trips and days out and dancing watching Top of the Pops. The last few years have been hell, shouting and attacking her carers, crying, screaming, hallucinating and terrified. No real let up beyond the occasional tranquilliser. Just left to exist like this for probably another decade. No one would choose this. I will do everything in my power to ensure it doesn’t happen. I have my escape plan.
Unfortunately it will probably come to the point where generation rent start getting dementia and there’s no handy house to sell off and fund their care indefinitely. It’ll be a financial necessity, it should be a compassionate one.

AgitatedGoose · 19/09/2025 16:25

@SinisterBumFacedCat Sadly I don’t think the Assisted Dying Bill will be passed in the UK for a long time. I wish it was legal here as I dread the thought of ending up in a care home dependent on others. I have money set aside to go to Switzerland but if I can’t do that I hope I’ll have enough insight to stop eating and drinking.

AInightingale · 19/09/2025 18:56

My mum has really stopped eating since a bad fall a year ago accelerated her decline @AgitatedGoose but her care home are determined to make her live on shakes. Every time I go in, she's got one in front of her. The body is giving a pretty unmistakable message here, but they will keep trying to force nutrition in. She weighs 33 kilos.

kippersmum · 20/09/2025 00:20

@Totallybannanas just checking in really. How are you doing? It's been another shite day here and I expect it's the same for you. Lots of morphine syrup, you will understand how swallowing anything is nearly impossible. However Michael Portillo saved the day with a programme about the history of railways! Just thought I'd mention it in case your dad is in to the same thing. On iPlayer xx

Totallybannanas · 22/09/2025 14:49

Hi @kippersmum, df has been restless, keeps trying to get out of bed and has been hullcinating, seems to be stuck between memories, dreams and reality. I stayed all night to keep him calm but I'm exhausted. They started the syringe driver last night. How are you doing?

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