Holiday insurance and dementia problem.

[picklemepopcorn]

I know you will appreciate my quandary. DM has last minute booked a holiday, without consultation with anyone. It leaves this Friday.
It’s totally unsuitable. 🤐🤯

Can we cancel and get it covered by insurance? I’m concerned about her wellbeing as it’s an arduous trip. She also can’t actually get to it, at the moment.

I think she would cancel if she thought she’d get her money back.

Any ideas or wisdom from previous experience?

She’s 84 and may or may not be suffering dementia. Which she may or may not have declared when she bought her annual travel insurance a year ago.

I don’t know. We don’t have PoA.

Any idea where I can go for help? AgeUK will be my first phone call.

I think poa would definitely be a good idea because in the worst case scenario (taken ill while away) it would be easier to get treating professionals to share information with you, plus in any scenario you could talk refunds more easily with the companies involved.

I think I would enthusiastically encourage very heavy packing - if she can't move her own cases it might prevent the trip...

You've got to assume that the idea of the trip is making her happier even if the experience itself is bad.

Absolutely if they give permission its fine. OP doesn't have LPA and doesn't sound like DM would gibe permission either

You've got to assume that the idea of the trip is making her happier even if the experience itself is bad.

Thats a good thought, @PermanentTemporary, I’ll try and remember that one! Though the suitcase thing- she packs so it’s too heavy for her to move (wheeled) and expects everyone else to. She’s stood outside the house with her boot open waiting for passers by to help. She’s extremely lucky with her neighbours.

Yes PoA is mainly irrelevant in this case, but it does give some justification for talking about her behind her back to various bodies.

Mum is fiercely independent about a lot of things. I suspect a diagnosis that she hasn’t shared. She’s independent in the same way a Queen is independent 🤣. Or Captain Picard- ‘Make it so!’.

She prevaricates about wanting to go. She wants to go, but the hassle of getting there has undermined the excitement.
She still isn’t thinking about the weather.
It’s the classic dilemma of ‘needing a holiday’ but the arranging and preparation hassle outweighing the actual trip. Hey ho.

I'd feel pretty cross with the travel agent. It sounds like a bonkers sell to an elderly lady in November. I wonder what she asked for.

@GreatTheCat if you have the opportunity to comment on here on your port days, about how your trip is and that no one has been helicoptered off, that would be very reassuring! 😅

It’ll be an amazing trip, I’m sure. I hope you get an awesome Northern Lights experience.

You need to read your mother's insurance policy and make sure she has declared all medical conditions that have been confirmed or are under investigation by medics.
She must also have cruise cover on her policy.

Best of luck trying to sort this

Honestly, I think you need to just let her get on with it. I can totally understand your concerns but she clearly still has capacity to make her own choices even if they aren't particularly sensible!

A taxi to Tilbury sounds like a sensible option and I imagine it won't be difficult to persuade the taxi driver to help with her luggage when she arrives at the port.

Also, she will have had to give details to the ship re 'next of kin'.

That's the problem though, it'll be the next of kin that gets contacted with sorting out any medical issues that arise during the trip!

If there is snow on board I'll worry!

Yes, I'll post on here, but the signal you get on board ( I've heard) isn't the best. I'll try to spot her and won't say anything about you. With only 1,200 people it shouldn't be hard.

I'm used to 'parents', I've got one of my own!

My mum did something similar last year when she was 88. I think she was fed up with not having a holiday when we'd all been away. She got a taxi to Southampton and everything was so well organised she didn't have to worry about anything. She said enjoyed herself although I think she spent a lot I'd time in her cabin and didn't get off at all the ports. They're pretty good on these ships at looking after older people. My mum doesn't use a phone or really understand any electronic devices but she seems to have coped. Don't think she'll do it again though!

Her insurance wouldn't have covered anything as she lied through her teeth about pre existing conditions. I didn't know about this until she was back.

@picklemepopcorn
I wouldn’t think of it as ‘talking about her behind her back’ (although I know what that feels like!) Think of having POA as being able to advocate for her and act in her best interests. Anyway very best of luck with this current problem!

I agree, she might even enjoy it. I don't think you can really control whether she goes and where she goes tbh unless she had been diagnosed with dementia and were a danger to herself or others.

I also have a 91 yr old parent with dementia who I'd probably say get on with it if you must.

Reminds me of the last cruise my parents went on a few years ago. My dad was sleeping in a chair because he had fallen and broken ribs (osteoporosis and frequent falls with fractures) and itvwas too painful to sleep lying down but there was no way my mum was going to miss out. This was Southampton to the Canaries in November. I ended up putting passport, phone charger and wash kit in a holdall so that when I got the expected emergency phone call I could just throw in appropriate clothes and get the next plane out. I never got the call and they had a lovely time.

Well, she’s got taxis arranged now. The travel agents have tried so hard, bless them.

She has also got a parking ticket for a supermarket she was shopping in, so she’s stressed about that now as well. Bless her. Nothing ever goes smoothly if she’s involved.

Christmas will be fun as always 🤣

Does she wear 2 watches?

It rather depends if she’s trying to wear a smartwatch and a smart watch at the same time.

Well spoken. About 4’8. Long hair often plaited and wound round her head.

Extremely smart on dressy occasions, I would expect.

Is she behaving 🤐😬?

Sorry to be slow responding, @GreatTheCat I don’t get notifications for some reason.

White/grey hair? Got the train to London and then a cab to the terminal.

Yes, she was sitting next to me at the dinner table last night and tonight.. Told me about you. I'll leave that as its personal!! I made the mistake of asking her age.. Won't be doing that again!

She's all good! Quite the chatter.

This is so funny! That out of all the people she sat next to it’s you. Love this.

I love this thread. 😂 I totally get your concern OP, I worry about my own mum going about causing havoc and involving random members of the public to act as her personal assistants, she's perfectly capable of this.

I hope your mum has a good time and nothing goes horribly wrong! My mum text me from central London recently asking where Madame Tussaud's was. She's never been to London before, I wondered wtf she was doing. She assured me she'd find it somehow when I offered to book her an Uber, and she did find it. She'd taken an 80yr Swiss Army knife in her handbag in case there were terrorists. 🤨

This is hilarious ! It’s like OP has a secret agent scoping out her mother.
Good work @GreatTheCat

Oh @GreatTheCat thats awesome! Thank you so much! And yes, @YouAreOne thats very much Mum’s style! She alternates between being able to take on and run the world, requiring an army of assistants to ensure it’s all done properly, and a really vulnerable little elderly lady.

Thing is, she starts ambitious things and then needs bailing out which can be rather tricky. I have been far more stressed about her various holidays than I ever have about my own!

I can only imagine what she’s telling you about me- though what she’ll say about my sister will probably be worse! We do miss my Dad. He was an amazing man who was able to manage her in ways no one else can!

I’m stalking the ship on Cruisemapper, and keeping an eye on your weather, too. Bit breezy, according to my map!