Why do they refuse to take their shoes off?

[SparkleFly]

What is it with the older generation, that they absolutely hate taking their shoes off in people's houses? My parents are late 70's and never take theirs off, if I suggest it they look uncomfortable and just ignore me. Same with MIL who will occasionally do an awkward check of the soles of her shoes before carrying on through my house wearing them. My 4 year old has been brought up to always remove them in our house or anyone else's, so he'll occasionally ask me why nanny doesn't take hers off, which is difficult to explain, giving that the real reason is that they don't give a sh**

Seriously though, what's with the lack of respect, especially when they can see everyone else doing it.

Another one who has never heard of this centuries old invention called..... door mats. This is the very entire point of their existence.

It’s a cultural and a generational thing. In Scotland, especially in working class households, no one takes shoes off. My PIL would get ‘dressed to shoes’ every day, then down their day with shoes on, sometimes slippers, indoors. My parents do similar, but more often wear slippers. Neither would go barefoot. My sister and her partner are strictly shoes off- they are more middle class, wooden floors / no carrpets. And we are shoes off by habit - we’re live in France where it’s completely the norm to leave shoes at the door.

We are over 70 (just). Ours is a shoe and pet free house. All our friends, of the same age or older, are also shoe free. None of our friends or us have issues balancing, standing on one foot or bending down.
I very rarely have anyone in who has not taken their shoes off. I do have plastic covers but I haven’t used these for ages. Really if anyone refused I wouldn’t let them in but it has never happened.
I think I would let a wheelchair in but I would clean the wheels.

I can absolutely understand why older people or those with mobility issues might not want to take their shoes off. I would never ask anyone to take shoes off before coming in my home but I have a couple of friends who do. I just take some slippers/sliders with me when I go round their houses.

I’m 47 and think being expected to take my shoes off in someone’s house is utter nonsense. I’m Irish and have only ever come across this in England.

I'm not in the UK, so am genuinely mystified by the amount of people who seem to have never ever heard of a thing called a door mat. You wipe your feet (with the shoes on) on them. Shoes then have no debris on them. Shoes are then cleaner for your floors then your sweaty, oily feet. Is it case that people in the UK genuinely don't know what a door mat is? And I am not even being funny or snarky here. I'm serious. Maybe I should post a google image/s of what a door mat looks like? Again, I'm not being a smartarse, I'm being serious.

Does nobody wear socks?

Definitely a shoe remover household. Why drag muck in (even doormats don't remove all muck).

I have a stool by the door for my parents to use to take their shoes on and off as it's too difficult for them to bend down to do it.

I'm Irish living in England for nearly 40 years.

None of my friends or acquaintances do this.

I knew of one family from my childhood in the 70s (notions!) and one here in the UK.

I don't know but my in-laws are the same. I've always been brought up to take off my shoes, and it's the first thing I ask when I step in to someone's home.

I don't want outside dirt and germs on the floors that I have my bare feet on or my children sit and play on, nor do I want to have to spend the evening cleaning my previously clean floor.

I do find it really disrespectful and it's made me invite them round a lot less over the years.

My kids come back with brown socks from the homes of people who wear their shoes in doors, which I think is pretty disgusting.

You're fine (and I've actually got an accessible home so you'd be free to move around). Just come in and I'll mop the laminate later - if you've actually rolled through something revolting, no worries, tell me and I'll clean it for you as well so you're not spending the rest of the day with something that smells evil up close and personal.

Because it was considered very poor manner sto be in your stocking feet when they were growing up and learning how to behave.

I once saw an older woman elbow her DH because he had slipped off his uncomfortable shoes "in company", it 's just not the done thing.

I have arthritis in my feet, and healed fractures. It is very painful for me to walk without shoes on. That's why I keep them on wherever I go.

It's a generational thing, we always take shoes off at home and when visiting other people , I think outdoor shoes indoors is disgusting even if they don't look dirty they definitely are! Most people my age (early 40s) and younger also automatically take shoes off. My late 60s parents had to be asked several times though before starting to do it every time. My grandparents generation would have been horrified at the thought of asking someone to take off their shoes

Maybe this is why allergies and robust immune systems are getting more common.

Allowing kids to play on carpets that have germs on them might just help their immune systems. I'm not talking actual dirt and dog poo but this idea that a shoe is revolting even if there's nothing actually visible, is ridiculous.

We need exposure to bacteria in order for our immune systems to grow.

Expecting people with mobility difficulties to bring orthotic slippers with them, asking close family and friends to wear shoe covers, asking a wheelchair user if you can give their wheels a clean…

I cannot believe how little shame some people have. Just don’t have people over if you care more about your floor than their comfort.

Wouldn’t get away with it in Japan 😂

You're not answering the question. Just going off on a tangent.

No. Globally is it much much more normal to remove shoes than not.
Countries that remove outside shoes as a standard think people who don't are crass and uncouth.

It makes sense. Our homes are our sanctuary. Walking in with outside grime is sullying the sanctuary.

Old people in these countries don't struggle with removing shoes either. I think because they e move more and have removed them all their lives do are typically more flexible and have better balance.

Once they are super old I don't know. Maybe someone helps them.

Nah. We grew up in a house where you'd want to put safety boots on to enter the place.

I've got plenty of allergies, as did my sister.

Then you are criticising most of the world

It's far more normal globally to remove outside shoes when entering a home.

In those countries walking in with outside shoes would be considered uncouth and unclean. In fact in countries where removing shoes is normal everyone from the top of the social ladder to the peasants would look aghast at someone crude enough to walk in with outside shoes on.

Notions is it, exactly.

The Irish mammy is cringing myself inside out at the thought of prioritising the floors (that were bought to be... walked on) over my guests' comfort. Especially our elderly and not-so-elderly parents.

You seem to have a lack of respect for your elderly parents. If you grew up with them and they didn’t ever take their shoes off then, that’s why they don’t now.

Is it? We’re consistently told on here about how 70 is young and most people of this age are completely healthy and energetic, usually in the context of having babies at 40+.