Mum ill in care home. Residents keep coming in and won't go away

[Mxflamingnoravera]

M sitting with my 86 year old mum in her care home. She has a chest infection. She is asleep. Other residents keep coming in and won't leave. Staff are struggling to get them out.
They've got them out now, but I'm scared to leave her because they are going through her stuff and keep coming back.
I need to go to pick up her emergency prescription.
There's no lock on her door so I can't lock it with us both in it.
It's a dementia care unit. What do I do? I'm wishing I'd said yes to hospital admission now when I spoke to a Dr from the emergency card team.
I've never been here at night. I'd be terrified if it were me sick in bed and people kept wandering in and out.

1. Get a lockable box or suitcase, and put her things in there. Keep the key and leave a spare with the office.
2. Get a rubber door wedge, and when you are in the room with your mum, push it under the door so nobody can come in except if you let them. Then hopefully you can relax a bit when you sit with her.

Ask if they have a stair gate to go across the door. Often it's enough to keep people out if they are just wandering due to confusion.

If you are going to a large supermarket to pick up the prescription they may have one to buy there if the unit doesn't have one.

Door wedge or stair gate, both great ideas. I've missed the pharmacy at Tesco they shut at 8. I'm waiting on an emergency team to call me with a location to pick up the dugs.
I feel like a drug addict trying to source my supply!
The visitors have stopped for the time being, it's the sundowners, all in their nightmare.

They will never allow a stair gate, it's too much of a risk. Unfortunately this isn't uncommon in hospitals either.

Oh, ok, I'll get a wedge. I had no idea this happened at night. Now I know why all her stuff keeps disappearing.
Oh no, I can hear one of the most difficult ladies coming back. She pulled back the covers on mums bed and plonked herself down and refused to leave earlier. I wish the pharmacy would call so I can get the antibiotics and get the light off to let her sleep properly.

Wedge is no use, the door opens outwards.

I'm going to have to leave soon with no meds. I'm exhausted and hungry, I've been here since 6.

Your mum deserves some privacy and dignity. Have you spoken with the manager?

Hospitals are horrific places these days. I've spent many times seriously ill dealing with drunks, drug addicts, serious mental health patients and there's zero peace or privacy. The care home staff need to be on this. It's stressful enough. Having been incredibly vulnerable many times and unable to even do anything, I'd rather be in that care home than the hospital. I hope there's some sort of call bell for her.

This is outrageous. The staff need to be keeping these strangers out!

Speak to the manager / senior staff on duty about your concerns. They may have a stair gate or a sensor mat they could put in the doorway that would alert staff if anyone goes in her room.

Stair gates are frequently used in care homes.

They absolutely need a risk assessment before they are used just like bed rails etc, but they can be used where appropriate. It wouldn't be appropriate if any of the residents who tend to wander would also try and climb over them, but as a general visual barrier to a room they can be effective.

Managers are not there at night, speak to the senior in charge. Stair gate you can't use, H&S. Pressure mat, door alarm to alert staff.

Not the care homes I've been to allow stair gates.

You really can't be using stair gates in this situation. Firstly you have DoLs. Then you have the draft they are designed for children in terms of weight loading and also have the potential of causing more injury if people (staff or residents) climb over them. Then I guess there is the fire risk.

I'm genuinely sorry to hear about your mum OP, unfortunately this is not uncommon either in care homes or hospitals. It is very difficult for staff to manage, they cannot man handle residents obviously and trying to reason with them is basically impossible. Do have a chat with the person in charge about your concerns. They know the other residents and may be able to assure you that certain times are more 'settled'.

Your poor mum. They are coming into her private bedroom? That is not on, I know many have cognitive issues and can’t help it but this is a safeguarding issue - your mum needs to rest and recover in privacy.

I’m a bit confused about the antibiotics. Why is it your responsibility to fetch them? What does the care home do if any of their residents require antibiotics, but don’t have a handy family member to run around getting hold of them?

Hospitals are no better, both my parents had issues with this.

You could get a doorstop alarm, not to use for the door, but if someone brushes past it, or knocks it with their foot, a very loud alarm will sound.

I'm so sorry you and your mum are going through this.

I was there when the dr saw mum. At 6:45 ish. He said can I pick up the prescription in an hour after he'd gone home and sent it through to Tesco. I said yes, I got to Tesco at 7:55, I got to the Pharmacy counter at 8:01. The pharmacy was shut at 8. They would not open for me. So I had to call 111. Now I'm waiting for a call from someone who will send me to some secret address at 10:45 where I can pick up the drugs. I'm shattered. I need my bed and some food. I'm going back to the home again afterwards with the drugs. I'll go via McDonalds. I hate McDonald's but I'm ravenous.
I'm just outside the place waiting for the text with the details of what door I need to go to. It really feels like I'm scoring heroin not some penicillin.
The home seemed at bit calmer when I left. Thank god.
I really had no idea... I'm not kidding, three women came in to mums room and wouldn't leave. They had three staff members in there trying to persuade them to go. One was almost manhandled when she sat on mums bed. I was actually relieved. The staff are doing their best. But it's scary nonetheless.

Oh my word you poor thing - you are doing a great job and your Mum is lucky to have you. Keep on keeping on and all that. Hope the MaccyDs is ok.

It definitely happens in hospitals as well. I used to wake up and find someone in my bed space looking through my stuff on the cabinet top. Someone I know had another patient climb in her bed and wee on her!

the pressure sensor is a good idea. Definitely complain and say they need to safeguard your mum.

Nothing v helpful to suggest. The wanderers will be fascinated by your presence, Nora. They possibly wouldn’t be so interested if it was only DM.
The care team when they are doing the night time toilet run are a bit over stretched. It just takes a toilet accident elsewhere for staff to be over stretched.
The care team need to invent another distraction to head them off the scent and go elsewhere.
Annoying about 8.01.
Yoy will be shattered.

I used to work in a dementia care home and sadly this is very common. Residents who were confused and unsettled would wander into others' rooms and also get into their bed on occasion.

It was very frustrating for both residents and relatives when items would go missing too.
Sometimes there are 3 staff on shift for 35 residents and it can be hard to contain all residents as such, but my sympathy is with you and I really hope you find a solution.

I didn't go to mcds I couldn't bring myself to drive out of my way for a cheeseburger I wouldn't enjoy.
I'm finally home eating a chicken sandwich made by me with the glass of red wine mum and I had chatted about in the moments she was awake.

I toyed with not bothering with the script after missing Tesco, only momentarily, I wouldn't have forgiven myself if she'd died of this infection.

I'm going to call in late to work tomorrow. I need to chill for a bit before bed. What a mad night.

From what you've all said I don't think there's much can be done about the sundowners crowding in. I don't know what a complaint to management would do. The staff are really doing their best in the most difficult circumstances. They are so kind and lovely, the last thing I want is for them to face a complaint. I'd rather bring them flowers and chocolates for the care and hard work they do.

Sometimes there are 3 staff on shift for 35 residents

I’m not surprised, as I have had family members in care homes, and volunteer in one, but why is this shocking ratio allowed, especially in dementia facilities? Is there no minimum requirement in care homes? No wonder they are such dire and degrading places.