Help: Mum in hospital, says she wants to go in a care home.

[YesIwillyesIwillYes]

My recently bereaved Mum is currently in hospital and says she doesn’t want to go home to her bungalow but wants to go into a care home. Although she’s late 80s she’s still in pretty good health and she has no sign of dementia (she does forget some things). She says she wants a care home near the bus stop so she can “get the bus places”. And walkable into town so she can go to the market and out for coffee. I really want to help her meet her needs but is a care home going to be the right place for her? Will a care home let her come and go like that? Might she be better off in an assisted living type place?

My mum (80s and still at home) has a friend who following a fall was discharged from hospital to a home and is utterly miserable because she has no cognitive impairment (only physical care needs) and virtually everyone else there does. She has no family to advocate for her or help her find a better place and is sufficiently wealthy that SS aren't interested. I can see that it is not a good place to be if you are still fully cognitively able.

My relative did this and chose to go into residential care once she got frail and overwhelmed by house maintenance, shopping, cooking. It was a really positive move and she got a new lease of life!

But it was an expensive residential home that was very picky about who it would take. That ensured a certain level of activity and intellectual stimulation. But when she developed dementia she had to move elsewhere as they couldn't cope with it.

With the right amount of money (of course) you can access a type of care for life service where on one 'campus' there are
Own apartment with cleaning and support with care available to buy in
A care home
A nursing home
A dementia unit.

But this is pricey.

If you are on a residential unit in a care home you are totally free to come and go. You have to sign out and back in for fire safety and its courtesy to let staff know where you are going. However, not sure if a care home is right for her yet. Assisted living would be a better fit and more cost effective. I work in a care home and a lot of the time residents are just sitting in their rooms alone anyway.

Depending on location a Care Home would be £1000 - £1500 per week. It sounds like she doesn’t need care at the moment m. Either look into assisted living or retirement style apartments in the town centre.

Maybe try a short term rent? To see if it’s what she really wants?