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Elderly parents

sister and motability car

107 replies

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 23/03/2023 19:37

Would love your thoughts on this. The background is there are 4 siblings including me and our 84 year old DM. Generally we all do our bit to help her albeit I do the most with hospital/ doctors /opticians appointments as I'm retired. I found out today that my sister has had a brand new car on Motability and is paying DM what she would otherwise receive in disability payments. She's done this with no consultation with the rest of us. Indeed one of my DBs suggested he could the very same thing a few years ago but same sister strongly objected. DM has early signs of vascular dementia although seems to understand this situation. I feel quite cross as I think my sister has a brand new car to swan about it but won't be doing all the running around that I do. In fact I'm thinking of stepping back and not doing it anymore. I don't want DM to suffer but she saw fit to hide it from me and my DBs so now will have to ask sister to do it all from now on. It's the sneakiness that's got to me more than anything.

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Badbudgeter · 23/03/2023 19:45

I think if she has the car she does the running around. Send her a list of future appointments. I’d probably say that I was still happy to help occasionally but it would have to be in Mums car.

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missy111 · 23/03/2023 19:47

I'd be looking up the rules. I'm sure I have read somewhere that notability cars are only to be used by or for the benefit of the person in receipt of the benefit?

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bloodywhitecat · 23/03/2023 19:49

The car has to be used for your mum's benefit, it is not for your sister to be swanning around in so from now on your sister gets to do all the driving around your mum needs.

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BirminghamNewStreet · 23/03/2023 20:04

So many questions !
Your mother must have been in receipt of DLA or PIP before state pension age to be eligible for the motability scheme. So at least 20 years. I does sound a bit immoral of your sister, and, the fact that she's paying your Mum the mobility part of her PIP/DLA benefit back monthly suggests that your sister doesn't intend to use the car for your Mother's benefit. More as a lease car arrangement type thing. Why didn't your sister get her own lease car? Is she not financially able to and the motability car is the only chance of her getting a new car?

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Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 23/03/2023 21:05

She has a well paid job and her DH has his own business, she's always been very avaricious. She can definitely doing the running around now because as you all say it's to be used for mum's benefit. I live much further away than the others too but I've gladly done it all in the past to save them taking days off work. No more.

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Poepourri · 25/03/2023 17:58

It sounds like your sister must be disabled if she has a motability car.

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forrestgreen · 25/03/2023 18:13

The car must be only used to carry the disabled person. Not for the benefit of others.
You can report it

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LIZS · 25/03/2023 18:14

Does your dm have a blue badge! Might your dsis take control of that too?

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LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 25/03/2023 19:05

my sister has had a brand new car on Motability and is paying DM what she would otherwise receive in disability payments.

I’m unclear on what you mean. Is Dm paying for

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Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 25/03/2023 19:41

LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 25/03/2023 19:05

my sister has had a brand new car on Motability and is paying DM what she would otherwise receive in disability payments.

I’m unclear on what you mean. Is Dm paying for

Sister is giving the money DM would otherwise receive as DLA but has the motability car. I know this is wrong on many counts but I won't be reporting her.
I would hope she would only use the blue badge whenever she has DM with her. It's usually left in the flat for whoever takes her out, usually me! That will no longer be the case as I'm stepping right back.

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davegrohll · 25/03/2023 20:07

Definitely not allowed. It is for the benefit of the disabled person. Your sister would be a named driver on the car but technically your mum is the keeper. Something like that.

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premicrois · 25/03/2023 20:12

Has your mum ever had a motability car?

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bigbluebus · 25/03/2023 20:19

I'm pretty sure that Motability changed the rules a few years back which said that except in exceptional circumstances the Motability vehicle has to be kept at the address of the disabled person. It was precisely to stop this type of 'fraud'. So they've presumably lied to Motability .

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Poepourri · 25/03/2023 20:28

Sorry to hear this. Has your mum been on DLA long ?

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caringcarer · 25/03/2023 20:29

I have applied for notability car to transport foster son to college every day and me return home then collect him at 3.30pm. which means driving him over 600 miles each week. I have read rules carefully and I can only drive car if foster child is in car or if coming back from dropping him off or going to collect him and the rest of the time I have to drive my own car when foster child is not in car and I'm not doing something for him. Your sister can only drive the car when your Mum is in it or she is collecting your Mum and your Mum's car should be kept at your Mum's address. I'd be reporting sister if she abused the motability scheme which is meant to support disabled people not their relatives.

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Anewuser · 25/03/2023 20:41

When we got ours, for the insurance you had to be a named driver at the same address as the disabled person. Unless you’d advised motability and given extenuating circumstances. Do they live together?

The car should only be used with the disabled person or specifically for the use of the disabled person.

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MamaDollyorJesus · 25/03/2023 20:42

bigbluebus · 25/03/2023 20:19

I'm pretty sure that Motability changed the rules a few years back which said that except in exceptional circumstances the Motability vehicle has to be kept at the address of the disabled person. It was precisely to stop this type of 'fraud'. So they've presumably lied to Motability .

They have. I have a motability car for my mum & it's fitted with a tracker which they do check to ensure that the car is at my mums on a regular basis - last year she came to stay with me for a period of 6 weeks so the car wasn't at her house as often & they contacted me to check why.

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MamaDollyorJesus · 25/03/2023 20:48

caringcarer · 25/03/2023 20:29

I have applied for notability car to transport foster son to college every day and me return home then collect him at 3.30pm. which means driving him over 600 miles each week. I have read rules carefully and I can only drive car if foster child is in car or if coming back from dropping him off or going to collect him and the rest of the time I have to drive my own car when foster child is not in car and I'm not doing something for him. Your sister can only drive the car when your Mum is in it or she is collecting your Mum and your Mum's car should be kept at your Mum's address. I'd be reporting sister if she abused the motability scheme which is meant to support disabled people not their relatives.

This isn't strictly true. I use the car to go to work as my only other option is public transport & if there was an emergency while I was at work it could take me over 2 hours to get there rather than the 45 mins drive - motability are fine with this as noted in my previous post they do know where the car has been.

I also run lots of errands for my mum without her actually being in the car - today I did her food shop but she didn't feel up to traipsing round the shops.

I'm the only available person though & have full appointeeship for mums benefits.

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bloodywhitecat · 25/03/2023 20:56

forrestgreen · 25/03/2023 18:13

The car must be only used to carry the disabled person. Not for the benefit of others.
You can report it

This isn't true. It must be used for their benefit, they don't necessarily need to be in the car. I could use my foster child's car (when they get it) to go and collect their medication for example, they don't have to be in the car while I do it.

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Brotherlove · 25/03/2023 21:00

It was sneaky.
Back right off and leave sis to it.
You can enjoy a cuppa with your mum rather rath doing the running around.
You can also call motability and tell them of your mum's dementia and the car is living at your sis, and the money changing hands....
It should have a black box fitted if it is not at your mum's address to ensure no fraudulent activity...let motability know, this kind of fraud affects the motability charity and everyone who uses it (most disabled people!)

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TheFairyCaravan · 25/03/2023 21:04

Your mum must have been in receipt of DLA for a very long time to qualify for a Motability car at 84. Your sister and your mum are both abusing the system. The car can only be used for your mum’s benefit, no other reason, at all. Motability have taken to fitting trackers to cars that aren’t being kept at the leaseholders address so they may already be aware of the abuse of the system.

Your mum’s blue badge isn’t tied to the car, it can be used in any car.

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Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 25/03/2023 21:46

I know about the blue badge we all use it if necessary whenever we take mum out. I'm surprised about the tracker being fitted, I wonder if sis knows.
I have to say my DM would not have knowingly done anything wrong, sis must have told her it was all above board. She's received DLA for many years.

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Babyroobs · 25/03/2023 21:47

bloodywhitecat · 23/03/2023 19:49

The car has to be used for your mum's benefit, it is not for your sister to be swanning around in so from now on your sister gets to do all the driving around your mum needs.

This.

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Babyroobs · 25/03/2023 21:48

TheFairyCaravan · 25/03/2023 21:04

Your mum must have been in receipt of DLA for a very long time to qualify for a Motability car at 84. Your sister and your mum are both abusing the system. The car can only be used for your mum’s benefit, no other reason, at all. Motability have taken to fitting trackers to cars that aren’t being kept at the leaseholders address so they may already be aware of the abuse of the system.

Your mum’s blue badge isn’t tied to the car, it can be used in any car.

People just carry on getting it indefinitely if they've had it before they turned pension age. And DLA was so much easier to get than PIP is now. Personally think it's ridiculous it carries on forever when the scheme often seems to be abused by family members.

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THisbackwithavengeance · 25/03/2023 21:49

I'm always a bit Hmm when people have Motability cars for other relatives that they don't actually live with. Apparently justified by the occasional hospital visit and shopping trip.

And nothing to do with the fact they want a free brand new car off the back of their elderly Gran.

Probably better financially for the disabled person if they kept their full PIP/DLA and got taxis whenever they needed to go out.

Shame on people that do this; you know you're taking the piss.

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