Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Elderly parents
Original poster

Mum lost her appetite and has stopped eating

63 replies

Zippsbuttonsvelcro · 03/04/2022 19:19

I am just wondering if anyone has any advice?

My mum (in her 80s and lives alone) lost her appetite a week ago and has eaten very little since. For example, today she has eaten half a bowl of cereal and half a banana. She tried to eat a biscuit earlier but said she couldn’t face it. She doesn’t have a bug or anything.

She is on several very strong painkillers (patches) for a broken hip due to osteoporosis. She was on amitryptaline as well but stopped that a couple of days ago. She is also very tired, sleeping a lot and has the shakes (doesn’t normally have a tremor). I called the GP out mid week and they came to visit and said she looked well and was sprightly (she isn’t). Every time I ring she sounds weaker. I am scared she is going to have a fall or lose consciousness or something. I am two hrs away and can’t visit more than once or twice a week.

She is currently having people in from SS for 15 mins morning and evening to check she has got up / gone to bed alright, but this service stops in a week. I don’t know what to do - it’s like she’s given up on life.

OP posts:
BlanketsBanned · 03/04/2022 19:25

Who is putting her painkiller patches on, could she be having side effects from them. Do you know what they are called and the dose, was she on them before she broke her hip.

QueenCarrot · 03/04/2022 19:25

Oh dear, it’s worrying isn’t it? My mum goes through periods when she has little to no appetite - she has various digestive issues as well. Her GP prescribed Ensure which is a fortified drink, a bit like a milkshake. You can buy it over the counter without prescription so it may be worth buying a couple (it comes in a number of flavours) and seeing if she likes it. If so have a further chat with a GP.

QueenCarrot · 03/04/2022 19:29

And yes, the painkillers may well be causing the tiredness and shakes as well as contributing to the loss of appetite. My mum had shakes and hallucinations with tramadol and apparently that is not uncommon

PangolinPie · 03/04/2022 19:30

Could she have depression? It's shocking how often low mood is over-looked in elderly people, or just seen as par for the course, rather than taken seriously and treated. It sounds like she's gone through a lot recently.

crossstitchingnana · 03/04/2022 19:35

My mum, similar age, shakes when her blood pressure is high.

BlanketsBanned · 03/04/2022 19:35

I am not sure what several strong painkiller patches mean, usually its only one patch that is changed at specified intervals. I would ask the carers to check tonight.

M0rT · 03/04/2022 19:40

I don't do well on tramadol and am a lot younger then your Mam, so maybe ask for her meds to be reviewed and list her symptoms as possible side effects.

Original poster
Zippsbuttonsvelcro · 03/04/2022 19:43

Thank you for all the responses - I wasn’t expecting replies so quickly!
To answer some questions, she is on Butrans patches (was on 15 mcg but went down to 10 last week). She is putting them on herself once a week. The pain is under control. She also takes paracetamol as required and was on amitryptaline until the GP said to stop a couple of days ago. I thought she may be drugged out because she only has a small frame, but the loss of appetite came on very suddenly. She previously liked food and eat pretty well.

She was not on the patches before she broke her hip (MRI also revealed spinal disc fractures which were causing her even greater pain). All her fractures are spontaneous due to osteoporosis - she hasn’t had a fall.

She could well be depressed. My dad died just over a year ago and she had been caring for him pretty much alone due to Lockdowns. He had a horrible terminal illness, Also, she broke her other hip a year ago and it wasn’t discovered for 5 months (didn’t show on X-ray) until I insisted on an MRI, so she has been through a lot.

I will have a look at the fortified drinks, thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
Zippsbuttonsvelcro · 03/04/2022 19:45

@BlanketsBanned

I am not sure what several strong painkiller patches mean, usually its only one patch that is changed at specified intervals. I would ask the carers to check tonight.
Sorry, I meant that she had to put more than one on to make up the required dose (they are all Butrans).
OP posts:
BlanketsBanned · 03/04/2022 19:57

Poor thing, she has really been through it . You can also get fortijuice if she doesnt fancy milky fortisips. The build up milkshake powder is nice, strawberry, chocolate, banana and vanilla and you just add it to cold milk. Woukd the carersbe able to safely weight her just to keep an eye and ask the district nurses to visit her again.

Barkingmadhouse · 03/04/2022 19:59

Could you move her in/closer even temporarily until she improves

Original poster
Zippsbuttonsvelcro · 03/04/2022 20:10

I think she would prefer fortijuice as she hates milk! I will try to get her some.

She wouldn’t be up for moving anywhere to be honest. My sibling (3 hrs away) has a big house with an en-suite she could use but she can’t cope with the thought. I don’t have any room in my house and am a full time carer for a disabled child. I feel like I’m always calling the GP out but they seem to have blinkers on. Same surgery didn’t realise how ill my dad was until he was admitted to hospital days from death. They never checked on him at all.

OP posts:
Original poster
Zippsbuttonsvelcro · 03/04/2022 20:13

Since her diagnosis of a broken hip, she has had no nurse visits just SS who look in twice a day but they don’t perform any caring duties.

OP posts:
TakingTheLowRoad · 03/04/2022 20:17

That is worrying. How long was she taking amitriptyline? I found the side effects (loss of appetite, tremors etc) very bad. It took me six months tapering to get off them

moonbedazzled · 03/04/2022 20:19

Could you arrange to have some nice hot meals delivered to her to tempt her appetite? Nothing she has to cook herself, but something that are already hot so she all she has to do is eat.

Original poster
Zippsbuttonsvelcro · 03/04/2022 20:21

She was only on the amitryptaline for about 3 weeks. Just had one before bed at night. She discontinued two days ago, but they helped her sleep for the first time in weeks. I have been on them before too (short term) and found they made me very drowsy so stopped taking them.

OP posts:
rosiebl · 03/04/2022 20:23

I think I would gently suggest again that going to your sisters with her own room and en suite might be a nice little 'holiday' for her?

Original poster
Zippsbuttonsvelcro · 03/04/2022 20:27

@moonbedazzled

Could you arrange to have some nice hot meals delivered to her to tempt her appetite? Nothing she has to cook herself, but something that are already hot so she all she has to do is eat.
We have talked about this but she doesn’t fancy anything at all. She has an abundance of prepared meals, snacks, fruit and biscuits in the house. She just doesn’t want any of it. I have tried to explain the consequences of not eating and told her just to try and have a small snack every couple of hours, but she could even face the idea of a digestive biscuit earlier. Today she told me she has stopped drinking tea and has just been having hot water. I told her to go back on tea as it least it has milk and sugar in it.
OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 03/04/2022 20:28

I think the care needs increasing, possibly temporarily, possibly permanently. 30 minute visits would give them enough time to give her something to eat. Tell social services she’s not eating.

LargeProsecco · 03/04/2022 20:32

www.bda.uk.com/resource/malnutrition.html#:~:text=When%20someone%20has%20a%20poor,for%20people%20who%20are%20malnourished.

Here's some information which might help.

It doesn't sound like she is eating & drinking enough & is at risk of being readmitted to hospital.

LostForWords2021 · 03/04/2022 20:33

It might be worth talking to the go again for a low dose of AD.

Yoghurt, custard, fizzy drinks, hot chocolate plus the above. It's more about calories than nutrition at this stage, isn't it?

Maybe talk to ss and see if a more robust care package can be put in place or pay for private care?

Original poster
Zippsbuttonsvelcro · 03/04/2022 20:35

@HeddaGarbled

I think the care needs increasing, possibly temporarily, possibly permanently. 30 minute visits would give them enough time to give her something to eat. Tell social services she’s not eating.
I think you are right. I have been contacting care agencies with this in mind. The team she is under with SS is supposed to be a rehab team who are just supposed to watch while you care for yourself. They only come in for 6 weeks then you are on your own.
OP posts:
Original poster
Zippsbuttonsvelcro · 03/04/2022 20:38

Agree it’s more about calories now (ironically, she has eaten healthily her whole life).

Thank you for the link LargeProsecco. I am going to read that now.

OP posts:
Leah2005 · 03/04/2022 20:43

My df (age 85) fell and broke his pelvis in November. He was taking codeine for the pain and ate and drank very very little. I was convinced he was going to slowly drift away. His painkillers were changed in February as Dr didn't want him on codeine as it is addictive. He put him on paracetamol and the change within a week was astounding. He was back to walking and then drove his car after a fortnight. It was the painkillers that were stopping his appetite, they messed up his bowel which further put him off eating. He was living life in a complete daze. I would read up on the painkiller your DM has and see if changing it might help.

Leah2005 · 03/04/2022 20:47

I also spoke with a dementia specialist at work the other day and we were talking about appetite in the elderly. She recommended that food is put on red plates as it's the colour the brain processes best in later life and helps to spark recognition around food. Use ribena in drinks, tomato ketchup in food.