I am only in my thirties and already have elderly parents who are deaf and non verbal (sign language users), my father is now going blind too. My mother is now on oxygen and in a wheelchair. My dad used to care for my mum but cannot do so now. They have not taken good care of them selves either. For example they are now diabetics on insulin but still continue to have sugary cakes and in tea.
I ensure they get to their drs, podiatry, dentist, opticians and hair dressers/ barbers. Also have food delivered. But I'm finding it all over whelming as I have two young children, I feel as though i spend my life running around after my parents. I feel deeply unappreciated as they never ask how my family and I are, ever. In fact one child has recently gone through something awful and im now feeling resentful towards my parents for never asking or taking an interest in them.
The problem is every time I see them, they produce a long list of things e.g. yesterday's was, to wash their windows, cut the grass, open a clothes catalogue account, order a new sofa (they've had 3 new ones in the past 4 years!), get their perfectly fine gas fire capped and removed and order and install an electric one. Book a hair appointment.
Obviously I prioritise what really needs doing as I don't physically have time to do everything they want. I'm already taking dad to a hospital appointment also mum to the opticians (for the third time this year) next week.
The problem is my mother expects too much, for example she often asks me to book a hair appointment right in the middle of the day 12 noon. Then asks me on the day to take her which is hard work because her wheel chair doesn't fit my car and there are double yellow lines outside the shop. I have to lift and half carry her into the salon and ask them to book her a taxi back due to the school run. She pulls a sad face when i explain that i cannot take her home because it falls on the school run. I explained yesterday that from now on she needs to either get a taxi there and back in her wheelchair, or let my mobile hairdresser friend do her hair. She looked upset. She likes the salon.
Another problem is my sister, she is unemployed and lives locally but refuses to help unless its shopping for goods but never food! Whenever I don't help buy another sofa, light fitting, or another fire, she will take them and order a new one but then leave them with the delivery and installation consequences. For example last month she helped order a new American smeg type fridge that wouldn't fit through their doorways. She tried to leave it to me to deal with. Even though I had no idea who the company were, nor her credit card details!
I'm feeling like I have zero time for myself and I m fed up running around after them. Especially during the school holidays when i have the little ones around. I get zero childcare/babysitting and feeling drained.
Anyone who read all of that, you deserve a medal!