Advice please

[Lamere]

My dad has been in a nursing home for less than a week and I'm visiting daily. So far I have found him in his bed 11am this morning with the sheet soaking(he is incontinent). The staff put him to bed during the day yesterday in just his shirt despite us putting pyjamas for him to change. The big concern is their staffing ratios today - half today of what they normally have - and there wasn't the staff to assist when he needed to go to bed. How should I go about addressing these concerns? Thanks

Arrange a meeting with the manager to find out how unusual this is - it is not good enough. You need to make a complaint really. They will have a complaints policy.

If you are funding his place, you might want to look into other local places to move him to. If local social services are funding him, you can inform them and consider asking him to be moved. SS should consider stopping using this home as one of their residences if this is common. Sadly, you are his only advocate, so you might need to push people to listen and actually take action.

It makes me so jeffing angry when people are treated this way.

Thanks for your reply. It's CCG funded as he's got terminal cancer. It's heartbreaking - need to speak to the manager just need to keep calm as I'm finding I'm being really emotional ... He really deserves better but I'm not sure he can cope with any more moves

What about your local hospice? It sounds really hard. Please seek support- Macmillan? Don't accept poor service.

I'm sorry, op, this is going to sound terribly negative, and hopefully if you present the manager with a list of the shortcomings and failures, things will improve for your dad, but situations like the one you've outlined are just the reason why a lot of elderly people do so poorly in hospitals and nursing homes.

If this is happening even though you visit daily, I dread to think what life is like for the poor people who have no-one to look out for them. Is there any way at all that you could have him at home with you? It's a big ask - I know, because I'm doing it with my mum, but even if you had to have a a live-in carer, I don't think it would be any more expensive than a lot of crappy nursing homes. I hope you can get something sorted out for him. Tell them exactly what you said in your last post - he deserves better.