Community Mental Health & DMIL

[rara67]

My DMIL has been referred to the Community Mental Health Team. She is 80 next month, not eating or drinking, very frail and in our opinion very depressed. DH is an only child and we live 50 miles away with two young DSs. What can we expect on the first visit? Should one of us be there? What if she is not truthful about how she feels and doesn't admit to the amount of brandy she gets through? What sort of support/ programme can they offer? TIA

One of you, preferably her son, should attend the appointment.

Reasonably similar situation to yourself.
We didn't attend appointment but managed to get a phone number and called them after they had attended three appointments to assess my mum. (She had called the police saying a relative was about to fire bomb the house.)
They were very helpful and were very interested to get some background. Appointments 2 and 3 were 'shopping trips'.

Thanks Busy. I am going to call her doctor today as she is still not eating and I am concerned about her personal care. On the surface all looks well: that's because I am trying to keep on top of the housework and washing (what little there is!) and if she is going out (albeit to sit in the car while I dash round getting a few bits of shopping) she still wants to put lipstick on but this is all just masking what is really going on (or not in the case of eating, washing etc). Were the shopping trips designed to assess her mobility or general awareness/ social interaction? We are trying to keep a diary/ record of what is going on. Any further advice much appreciated.

Shopping trips were to win her confidence and to see how she reacted in a different social setting... at times she is desperately lonely even though my dad is there, too.

I ' m afraid my mum reacted badly to their next suggestion which was to come into a day ward and be returned home afterwards. The visit to the day ward was in order to take some bloods and her weight among other things. However the very thought of leaving this made her extremely anxious and the upshot was the psychiatrist had to visit her at home.

however the team leader is extremely helpful and considerate and communicates well. My mum has a whole set of complex issues which are so frustrating and has had them for many years. ementia is making them worse!

I think the diary is good. We don' t even have keys to her house or power of attorney and those are the things my sister and I are working towards.
Hopefully you have.

BBB - thanks for your reply. Things have moved on a bit. MIL had a fall on 17th and was on the floor all night until she was found by a neighbour. Still on the floor in the afternoon but luckily the original paramedic returned (the one she sent away) and she was admitted to hospital. Still there and waiting for a place at a rehabilitation centre (physio etc). Her appointment from the Community Health team is on Monday and she is seeing a doctor. There is a questionnaire for her to complete which I have copied and will get DH to fill it in as well, as I am sure that she will not put the truth down on paper. Thanks for listening. I think I will also do a post about rehabilitation. Take care and best of luck x

Rehab wards are usually very good - the one here is brilliant. About not eating and drinking. This happened to my Mum because she thought if she didn't, then she wouldn't need to go to the toilet as she was having accidents - not being able to move fast enough.

Pudcat - I have also thought that the not drinking could be linked with going to the loo (she used to do a lot of coach trips so I think it started then although she has never been a thirsty person). Hospital tried to discharge her again yesterday as according to the Occupational Therapist she was a whizz with a zimmer and perhaps she didn't need rehab after all!!??? I then enlightened her a bit about not eating, drinking, using washing machine etc. It seems that every conversation my DH has had with anyone since saturday has NOT been recorded. I think I am going to produce a fact sheet and then give a copy to everyone we see! Thanks for yr support.