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Elderly parents

Crying wolf

4 replies

Doha · 17/08/2013 19:02

DM is almost 90 and has been addicted to painkillers and laxatives all my life l blame her GP for overprescribing as she clock watches and stops what she is doing if it is 4 hours since her last tablets. She loves "being ill" and usually answers the phone in a whiney pathetic voice then when she knows it sort of reverts to normal.
However having being "constipated" for years she now has diarrhoea for past 2 weeks and GP has referred her to hospital for tests. I cut short my holiday to come home to help her and yesterday she said she felt terrible and wanted someone to sit with her. I suggested she phoned the GP and he prescribed tablets to stop her being sick but she has never complained to me of feeling sick!!! Anyway l duely picked up prescription and although she said she wasn't feeling sick she took a tablet "just in case". She had no diarrhoea yesterday and said she felt better but today my DS phoned me to say that DM had told her she was very unwell yesterday and today.
I am at a loss. She has played the invalid almost since the day l was born and was cared for by my devoted DF until he died.
'I don't know what to think. Is she ill or is she not? I do think she has been ill but is she better and just enjoying the additional attention?
Boy sorry for the epic post but l am mentally and physically exhausted by it all

OP posts:
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 18/08/2013 01:02

I feel for you but you have to remember that she's 90. Feeling ill will go with the territory and so will wanting someone to sit with her. The whiney voice probably comes from her trying to use the one thing she's got which is not the way of power I mean...try to keep on caring for her in the way you obviously have been./xx

whataboutbob · 18/08/2013 09:47

Constipation can lead to diarrhoea, you can get a situation known as overflow where undigested stool comes out past the constipated stool. Usually in hospital it s diagnosed with a bowel X ray. If she continues to complain of diarrhoea this might be what s going on.

Doha · 18/08/2013 10:22

That's for the replies, l honestly didn't expect any [flowres]
Yesterday l was just exasperated by it all. I really don't know what to think. DSis has always been the chosen one but if DM is unwell l am expected to do the looking after. MY DD is going into hospital for surgery soon and l am going 150miles away to look after my DGD. I really don't know how to prioritise things anymore.
I am going back to visit DM today so we will see how that pans out today-

OP posts:
Fionar71 · 22/08/2013 12:02

The other thing to remember with constipation is that, by the time you get to a stage where overflow is happening, it can be so backed up through the system at it impacts on the stomach and can cause nausea and vomiting. This could be the problem with the sickness as well as the diarrhoea.

I wonder if she needs a fervid of her medication in case she's on something with codeine in that can lead to constipation and her laxative treatment may need changing to something that works in a different way.

I think an appointment for you and her to see the GP together (much as she might not want it) to go over everything so you know all is on the road to being sorted while you're away looking after DGD would put your mind at rest.


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