Ariesgirl - I pay for schooling. Therefore I am a paying customer but even if I were not I still think I should be treated like one.
I also should say I have never told a teacher how to teach. Not once. I dont know anything about teaching methods and it would be deeply insulting to them. I have always told all the teachers DSs have ever had that I am very happy with what they are doing in the classroom and have never had a disagreement with any of them. I do know something about testing/exams and the type of information that I as a parent would like to see though.
DSs have a nice life and always enjoy school. I just want to know how they are doing at school by giving them an occassional test every 6 months - which allows me to identify areas they are strugglng with. I of course listen to what the teachers say as well.
I feel that some of what you have said is just dismissive of parents. A sort of 'teacher knows best so stop asking questions' attitude that a few others on the thread have displayed. I feel that is also what teaching unions express too. I ask my doctor questions but respect his/her trainng and judgement. That is how I feel about teachers.
Teachers complain when parents are not engaged. I am an engaged parent who once in a while wants to know how my DS is doing using an independent test. Of course I listen to and trust all my DSs teachers and accept their judgement on how best to deal with any areas DSs are struggling with. In one or two areas I noticed DS1 was struggling and now it is sorted I am happy. I did not tell the teacher how to address those weaknesses through - that is her job.
You clearly do not have experience of teaching in a London/South east Prep school. The level of 'parent engagement' I have seen in them is is pretty brutal to say the least and I disagree with it and the insane 11+/13+ coaching that goes on. I am not like that at all and it does make some children very unhappy. I have seen it first hand.
Teachers should be allowed to teach without intereference from parents - as long as parents are informed of the results and outcomes of that teaching. SATs is a bare minimum (not very satisfactory) way of doing that. I want somethng better and more regular but teaching unions make no contribution to improving SATs they just want them dropped.