Do you volunteer, contribute or get involved at your dc school? Why or why not?

[Earlybird]

Just curious about who does and who doesn't, and their reasons...

That's a great idea for a breakfast club if the students are not being given a decent breakfast at home.

So stark in comparison with schools that serve a wealthier demographic in that the breakfast club is for working parents and others who need to drop their children off early.

Litchick

If my children attended a failing school plus I was on low income and a volunteer who sent her offspring to private school tried to set up some highbrow author's club, I would think she was really patronising and trying to demonstrate that she was better than the parents at the school and that is why she did not want her precious off-spring mixing with the hoi poloi.

I know you are doing something selfless. However, from the point of the view of those parents, I bet that is what they think of do-gooders like yourself.

I really don't believe that the majority of the parents are indifferent to their children's education. I bet there are many who care but are totally devoid of confidence and feel completely intimidated by the education system, especially if the headteacher does not care and the teachers write them off.

What they need is someone to believe not only in their children, but in them too. If someone told you constantly that you were useless, inadequate and never amount to anything, then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

What that school needs is a few parents to commit to help raise aspiration, inspire other parents to work together to support the school and generate pride in the school. It takes hard work and commitment and that is why it does not happen without a self-less champion who is prepared to use the school themselves. For all your good work, you are not prepared to send your child to the school and I'm afraid that action will define you in the eyes of the parents, not the volunteer work you do.

Don't stop volunteering though because if it helps one child, then it is worth it.

What spokette said. In a nutshell.

Litcheck I'll echo one bit of what Spokette said "Don't stop volunteering though because if it helps one child, then it is worth it"

'However, from the point of the view of those parents, I bet that is what they think of do-gooders like yourself.'

Did you mean this to sound the way it came out?

spokette, you can save your breath. Litchick is well aware of the do-gooder implications of her involvement: "I do tend to stand off because I don't send my own children there and don't like coming across as high and mighty iyswim."

I would imagine Litchick is doing it primarily for the children. If it is going to be an 'us' and 'her' approach from the other parents, what's to say they won't similarly dismiss the motivational efforts of parents who also send their dcs to the same school.

What's to say they won't embrace it?

It happened at the school my DC attend.

Fair enough, spokette. So whilst you are all for volunteers at a school, you don't just mean any volunteers.

I didn't think spokette meant it like that at all. I took it to mean that the volunteering was a Very Good Thing but that, coming from someone who is in the catchment but chooses not to use the school as a parent, it could come across as patronising (even if this is in no way intended).

In response to OP, I have 3 DS' aged 4, 3 and 9months and am a SAHM.
I am now a fundraiser at the Pre-School and have also volunteered to help check the story sacks on a Friday morning in DS1s reception class - Younger DCs permitting.

I do it because I enjoy it. I enjoy seeing the smile on my boys' faces when I stay to help do something.
I like to think I am hopefully giving something back.
I like to see what they are getting up to and how they interact with other children and adults. I also like to see what they REALLY can and can't do! (ie: putting shoes on, doing zips up etc)

I'm a parent governor and was on the PTA - have helped with reading, school newsletters, fairs, art etc. I do it because I have time (work part time from home) and have skills that are useful to a primary school - business marketing, communication, writing. I enjoy it, of course; I don't do it as some kind of martyr. But I'm aware how much our school benefits from involved parents.

It's just ridiculous to say that I do it so that my kids get better SATs marks or roles in the play. Most of the parent governors do have children who seem to achieve highly; but I think that's just because we are people who know we have specific things to offer, know how lucky our children are, and want to contribute.

I bet they do - with 7% of the population using private education, those children in an area tend to be known as the minority who don't go to the local school, and do tend to be recognised.

I'm glad others have raised the point about it coming across as patronising. Our local primaries are fantastic, very middle class (if that makes a difference) and in no way failing. However, if any of the parents who send their children to the private schools 15 miles away decided to come in and volunteer, or set up an author/reading club (without asking parents if they wanted this) and then complain on an on-line forum when parents didn't attend, I'd be pretty pissed off, tbh.

She's a local author.

She is giving up her time to help children with literacy.

It's patronising???

I very much doubt litchick would be volunteering in a 'middle class' school.

To label her actions in wanting to help more disadvantaged children in a local school that does not otherwise have any volunteers amongst the parents as 'patronising' speaks to me like an inferiority complex and green-eyed monster at work. Not that that does not exist.

In answer to the OP...

I was on a carers break from my job when I started volunteering, so had plenty of time. I was helping out in my daughters class initially. I'm not pushy, not cliquey, not really interested in doing anything but helping the school. God knows, they've done plenty to help me and my dd.

In reception I heard readers, sharpened pencils (which amused DH no end...after all my management roles - spending my afternoons doing stuff like that made him giggle. I loved it), filed papers, etc. I always helped out at school trips, volunteered for fetes, craft fairs, etc.

I then did a reading mentors course and supported a couple of Y6 children who were struggling with literacy and did that for just over 2 years.

That sparked my interest in education and now I've quit my old job and am working at the school on a supply basis (ie temping effectively) as a classroom assistant. I still do the volunteer reading and attend school trips when required, but I also assist in all classes with numeracy and literacy. I'm retraining and loving it all.

It didn't start out as an alternative to my old career, but it looks like it's been the trigger for it. Retrospectively it might look like I've engineered a niche for myself in the school, but I've always said I'd do the same as I do now even if it was unpaid, because I love helping the kids who are struggling the most.

returning to the thread I am shocked at some of the nastiness towards volunteers on here.

I don't say (ever) that other people should volunteer; but to describe those who do as having "too much time on their hands" (unless with tongue firmly in cheek) or as "busybodies" is rather offensive, sorry.

I don't do what I do for thanks, I do it to help the children and because I (and hopefully they) get something out of it.

I spent most of my morning yesterday doing a talk about newspapers and how to write them to the junior school. The teacher had asked me to because I guess he thought I had expertise more than his (i's what I do for a living). Does that make me a busybody? I sure hope not. I'm middle class tho. Not really sure what difference that makes

UQD and Paolos understood exactly the point I was making because they are unblinkered.

Abra1d and Bluehoes - I suggest you read my post again because you clearly do not understand the perspective I was endeavouring to address.

spokette, I understand perfectly well what you are saying. And I would even agree with you.

However, I will add that that attitude says a lot about the people that hold it and that it is not right.

She's a local author - and....? Did she ask the parents if they wanted her and her friends set up an authors evening? I've no problem with parents helping at all - I wish more would - but I sort of feel slightly uneasy that someone who doesn't use the state system would then criticise other local parents for not turning up to her authors evening. Nothing to do with a green-eyed monster or inferiority complex at all.

ok, what if litchick sent her dcs to another state school within catchment instead? Will she be allowed to mingle amongst the parents then?

i'm on the playschool commitee, next year i'll have two at school and none at playschool so i'll volunteer for the PTA.

it's a very small village,

I am 46 years old and my mother who was an Italian immigrant who left school at 14yrs was a governor at both my primary and my secondary schools. So it is certainly not true to say our parents never had anything to do with our schools My mother also helped a great deal in fundraising for my secondary school. My mother was certainly not an uber mum (whatever that is) and could in no way be described as middle class.

I have just become a governor at ds's school. The last time I looked, all state schools schools NEED a board of governors and some of those should be parent governors.

I wull be volunteering to read to the children at ds's pre-school/foundation school next year as soon as he has moved to the older end of the school.

I like children and actually enjoy reading to them or hearing them read or helping out.

I'm sorry if people find what I do at my local school patronising...I'm sensitive to that of course. But here's the thing, the HT asked the parents to help. They wouldn't. Simple as.

So she asked me. I agreed.

The author's evening came about because the children just are not reading enough to make any prgress. I had read a book to them in class that a lot of them loved. I asked them if they would like to meet the author. They said yes they would. I invited her but the parents wouldn't bring the kids along.

No surprises really. I was just disappointed for the kids.

TBH the parents don't turn up for parents evening so I should have known that they wouldn't give a shit.
Of course I wish they would. I wish they would volunteer to listen to reading. I wish they would volunteer to help with the library. But they won't.

And I've been thinking about this idea that it's patronising to help if you don't directly benefit yourself and that seems daft. I mean, we have our lovely foster child with us this weekend. Should we send him back because my own kids aren't disabled and I don't bneed any respite care?

And what about meals on wheels? Can you only do that if your own Granny needs it, otherwise it's patronising?

Can you only help out in Oxfam if you someone you love lives in the third world.

Cos a lot of us had better stop volunteering if that's the case.