Do you volunteer, contribute or get involved at your dc school? Why or why not?

[Earlybird]

Just curious about who does and who doesn't, and their reasons...

AbetaDad, both my parents were on the PTA and I can assure you I was at primary school more than 20 years ago!

I help in various ways at my children's school. My DH, brother, sister-in-law and mother have all been in to do various jobs and talks too.

I don't think my childfree brother and sister-in-law did it to curry favour or get in with the teachers! No-one except me knew who the young couple weeding the back playground were. They did it because they wanted to demonstrate to our kids that they think school is important and yes, selfish alert, because they don't have their own garden and thought it might be fun. Enjoying something doesn't make it less worthwhile!

My children are yet to have a speaking part in a school play, any kind of reward certificate in assembly, or indeed to be
chosen for one of the many selective school trips. If my strategy is to gain them advantages it is not going very well so far.

And as for the government providing all that is needed.... well, we could have a whole new thread for that. It seems to me that they have new initiatives all the time (synthetic phonics, outdoor classroom, etc) which come with set-up costs but not additional funding.

I am a parent governor and also on the PTA committee. We raise about 10K a year for our primary school and all the children benefit from a lot of extras we provide. The teachers are also very active and very grateful for our work. DH and I always man a stall or game at the Christmas and Summer Fetes. I have also helped out in my DDs' classes on trips, cooking, sewing and reading.

I just want to add that I wasn't able to do much volunteering in the school until my youngest DC was in school too.

The PTA mob always got the best seats at DSs last school when there was a school play on. They even had little 'Reserved' notices on their seats. Meanwhile a mob of reluctant awkward sorts huddled at the back hoping to avoid the gaze of the PTA chairwoman.

"In my day" "at my old school"

ABetadad, times move on, they change and old luddites like you need to move with them!

I am not sure that reserved signs are always such a bad idea. I helped dress all the kids for DS's play last year - this meant attending all the dress rehearsals and being early for the show.

I was approached because the TA was taken ill that week and I knew the kids in the class well and already had a CRB. Not because I pushed myself forward!

When I got to the hall all the other teachers/TAs went to their reserved seats. Because I was a parent, there was no reserved seat and too much crush to get anywhere near the front/middle/back of the parents crush without causing major disruption as it was the last minute as I'd been with the kids till it started. I had to curl up into a tiny space on the floor and try not to move so I didn't get cosy with the headteacher's legs....

Would it really, really, really have been so evil if a chair somewhere had been kept for me?

NEVER!

I help out in the state primary school my children went to before they went to the independent. I like children and enjoy helping them. I think my specific work skills are useful for the school.

Some of you have rather weird views of why people help.

As well as helping out school, I am soon to be a parent governor, I run the Sunday School for my church, I also organise and run holiday clubs (two days of craft activities) for children in my community.

Why do I do all this considering I have two small children and a full time job as well as a DH?

Because I want to. The summer club I ran was attended by over 20 children and a number of the parents said to me that they wished that there were more clubs like this. What they don't realise is that things like this only happen because someone is prepared to champion it and give up their time freely. Someone has to organise the events, cajole,plead and beg for help from other to give a few hours of their time to ensure the event takes place, someone has ensure that enough CRB checked volunteers are present, first aider is present, venue meets Health and Safety standards, ensure children are properly cared for and secure, ensure parents can be contacted in case of an emergency and so forth.

To say that things like this are not needed is very narrow minded indeed. Society would be poorer without these things happening.

Abetadad, most families did not have flatscreen TVs, DVDs, CD players, computer games, cars, Blackberries, Wi-fi in the good old days that you hark back to. These things are not needed but people have them because they add to their quality of life. Are you prepared to give up your profligate and trivial luxuries in order to live as your parents did in the good old days?

Schools probably don't need the services of its volunteers but without them, the quality of life at the school would be very different. I chose my children's school based on the ambience of the school. We were allowed to speak to the children and they loved it. They spoke about their gardening club, they enthused about their new trim trail, the new books in the library and the interactive white boards, all provided by the PTA. Last Christmas, every child received a selection box and guess what? For some children that was the only gift they received.

The schools that parents are breaking their necks to get their children into tend to provide the non-academic non-essentials that parents actually think are important to the holistic development of their child.

Society needs volunteers. School is part of society not separate from it. School is not just about creating academic zombies ( I have PhD so am quite academic myself). School is about preparing children to function in a society where they understand that we all rely on each other to produce a harmonious society in which we can all live.

Perhaps we could also revert back to the good old days of Victoria when not only did the PTA not exist, but we also saw children caned daily, made to scratch on slate, live in terror and fear of the teacher and leave school at a ridiculously young age to work in the fields, up chimneys or down mines.

Ah - if only times didn't change for the better.

I gave a talk recently and told of the tragic story of a 9yo girl who was hanged in England for stealing a loaf of bread.

If people knew what is was really like for poor people in glorious Britannia era, they would not be so trite and smug about the good ole days.

"Let them eat cake" is one of the enduring memories of the Victorian age.

I was PTA rep last year, and will be fundraising officer this year (shared role) and go in every week to change the reading books/listen to kids read.

Why? Because it's about being more part of the school community (which to me is children, parents & teachers... & beyond), because I think teachers work bloody hard (both parents in education) & deserve all the help they can get. Oh, and because I have a quite unnecessary sense of obligation.

I can't imagine how it would benefit me/my kids, esp the PTA stuff - I doubt dcs teachers even know I'm involved. When I'm helping out in the class, I am banished to a corridor - dcs teachers are, uh, teaching, so surprisingly little gossip goes on.

Our school have also made it very clear that any parents gossiping about things they've learnt whilst in the school will not be allowed in again

I got involved with the PTA becuase I had some spare time and thought it would be nice to give some of it to the school. I guess I felt that as my kids are going to spend a big chunk of their lives there, it would be nice to get involved in whats going on and contribute to making it a nice place.

Sadly I had almost the same experience as dollyparting. I have a similar background to her but a minority of dominant people on the PTA ignored me and I gave up in the end because I was concerned about issues of safety and legality. I also had the unpleasant experience of being shouted at/ being treated with verbal agression in front of my children by PTA committee members in the playground.

I became increasingly uneasy that a large amount of the money raised is from school events attended by parents and their children but there was no proper or democratic mechanism for deciding how the money should be spent. I felt that school events such as Xmas Fair should be for fun, not for fleecing parents (a lot of families round us are not well off and if you have several children a day at the Xmas Fair can cost a lot if you don't want your kids to feel left out). Our PTA constitution did not allow us to spend money on things that should be paid for from school funds e.g. staff costs with the result that it was spent on "extras" some of which were of dubious value to the school (although some were very good).

I now spend my spare time working for other voluntary organisations and contribute to school by buying cakes at cake sales.

Yes I do lots cos they need it....

God I said nice 3 times in that opening para - must've eaten too many cup cakes (pink)

no because I work and I'm crap with children and wouldn't have the patience.

at the fairs, I tend to help out on a stall or help clear up/set up

I do help whenever asked, but am very aware that frankly, my children are already mahoosively advantaged and attend a fabulous school so I actually spend more time volunteering at mt local 'failing' primary.

That's not very clear is it.
At Dcs school I help with school trips, fund raising etc
At local school I volunteer properly and regularly to help with the literacy prog.

NorthernLurker, you say 'those who do embrace it have no right to judge those of us who don't, but that is exactly what you are doing when you say 'Tbh I regard those uber mums who are involved as either having way too much time on their hands or an inability to say no or a happy combination of both of the above.'

We don't help out in that way. We help out by ensuring our children turn up to school every day - on time, smartly turned out, breakfasted, with homework done, with a polite and respectful attitude towards the staff. We attend all the concerts (well, any which are not held at stupid times), the nativity plays, the sports days and the parents' evenings.

Which, frankly, is the best any school can hope for! Anything else is extra.

Would love to have time to go in and hear them read, sort out books, help out at PFA, etc, bit it just isn't feasible. About 50% of the mums (I'd estimate) don't work, not even part-time. Those who have no work and all children at school have the time to help out. It keeps them away from the coffee-shops and Jeremy Kyle.

litchick, whenever I hear someone's local school is failing and that local parents don't use it, I wonder "which came first"... call me cynical...

UQD - totally agree.

That is exactly how we feel but it sounds so much more reasonable coming from you.

I am a parent helper on a friday afternoon - I listen to readers and help with crafts etc. I do it because I have 2 spare hours once a week.

In my experience the parents who moan most and complain about the school/teachers are the least likely to offer any of their time/help

..... although this might cause controversy:

"It keeps them away from the coffee-shops and Jeremy Kyle "

UQD, I suspect the situation in a private school may be rather different to those of us in the real world
I suspect there are very few mums at our school with all kids at school who don't do any work.

At our school, I would say PTA is a mix of p/t workers, SAHM and a good sprinkling of f/t workers. Our deputy chair (?) is a ft worker. And (shock horror) a MAN...