Do you volunteer, contribute or get involved at your dc school? Why or why not?

[Earlybird]

Just curious about who does and who doesn't, and their reasons...

I don't get involved because I don't have the time or the inclination.

No time because I wohm full-time plus and travel a lot

No inclination because I cannot be arsed fundraising when I have paid already. This would be my attitude even if the DCs attended state schools - which they do not.

Thanks Clary for explaining the 'trim trail' - we have one too, funded by the PTA although I am quite sure it didn't cost 15 grand. It's quite nice and good fun, both my children have knocked teeth out on it though - but still they were teeth that would have fallen out anyway

NorthernLurker - I am with you on this.

Our DSs go to fee paying Prep and I just think we should shut dwn the PTA and put £25 on the bill every term. It would mean thet there was no 'fund raising' events required. Parents' lives would be easier and the school would get more money.

I went to an ordinary village primary school and there was no PTA. The school teachers did everything. We had one school play per year, one sports day, one open day and nothing else. No trips, no parent events, no fund raising. Parents were not allowed to enter the school except on the few event days I listed above.

Parents who 'get involved' are just real busy bodies most of them and damn well annoying. The school has a management team - I pay the bill and DSs go to school on time with the correct equipment and I help with their hmework. That is all the parental involvement required in my view.

I've done it from time to time. Once got involved with the Christmas fair as was a sahm at that point so time to spare, did reading for a couple of years in dd's class and now help with the second hand uniform sales. I prefer the latter because the funds raised (a % of price of items sold on behalf of parents)are used for a specific purpose or item the kids or school request and are kept separate to PA fund raising which is less focussed as goes towards projects often much bigger and the Bursary fund. There are some who will get involved in anything and some in nothing. Those who do put themselves froward are often of a type - either have an agenda to get "in" with the school or are ones who thrive on being seen to be involved and in charge, but moan about lack of support and how busy they are. Too political for my liking !

I am a WOHM and so could not do the coffee morning thing. Being part of the PTA is my way of staying in touch and knowing what the gossip is (gossip about school that is, not other parents).
The trouble with PTA is that it is a chicken and egg thing. People make sarcastic comments about uber-mums but I don't know if (a) pushy parents produce above-average kids who then go on to get the starring role in the Christmas play etc or (b) an above-average kid prompts their parent to feel obliged to get involved in the school. There is a correlation but I don't know which is cause and which is effect.

Our current school is fantastic and my being involved in the PTA is a way of saying thank you and contributing to the opportunities they give the kids.

I did last year (class rep, active member and participant for parent association activities) but have backed off this year. I did it last year mostly because I wanted to learn more about the school. It helped me do that, but I didn't enjoy it much and, more importantly, didn't feel I was contributing anything very useful to the school as the PA was so badly managed.

See that's what's so horrible about your attitude NL, The I'm all right Jack stance
You know it may surprise you but there are still an awful lot of children in this country where school is respite... that Xmas party maybe the only Xmas event they're getting, who's parents can't or won't help them read through illiteracy, ill health, SN, whatever. The events, time and effort that many PTA's put in is essential to them.
And yes ABetaDad if you are paying 10K a year for schooling, what's £25?! But funnily enough there are parents at your local state school who haven't got a spare £25, they haven't even got enough to feed themselves or pay the bills.
So what about them? we're just going to ignore them right? er... wrong. Your school is a community and the time, experience and support of parents is just a vital as their money.
I think you should go to school today NL and ask for your dc to be withdrawn from any PTA/Volunteer based work. Your dc are taking up time that other parents and children would be more than grateful for.

I can't believe the vitriol towards volunteers on this thread. What on earth is prompting it?

I don't do stuff for thanks or because it makes me feel important or whatever, I do it because a) it enriches children's lives, not only in the extra activity but also because our school just does not have the budget for extra TAs and b) because I enjoy it.

I find it astonishing that people are actively sneering at volunteers. Its pretty horrid really. I don't judge those who don't have the time or inclination to volunteer, so please don't judge me.

Cristina I work for a NGO in the education sector (not public sector though) who give some time off to anyone who wants to undertake voluntary work, but more to people who are volunteering in the education sector - so I guess enlightened!

Inghouls I'm really not sure what you're reading in to my posts - where did I say 'my kids are ok so screw everybody elses?' What I said was that the activities were a nice add on but not essential. I maintain that position. The PTA is not all that stands between some children and a miserable life, it really isn't.

I don't due to the hours I work. Most school events are held on Friday evenings or on a Saturday and we are not able to attend those.

I did go in and help during the Christmas play last year to do the make-up as dd is allergic and I ended up helping do everyone (I do this sort of thing in my job anyway).

Also I used to do a lot of volunteering for quite a few years but had to give it up sur to work commitments.

Oh I think it's quite clear in your posts NL
"I do not consider that my children's education is resting on the goodwill of some parents. It depends on provision from the local authority. I certainly don't need to be grateful that some parents choose to volunteer. We actually would muddle through without them and there is absolutely no need for people to martyr themselves feeling hard done by because some parents choose not to get up close and personal with the book corner, the christmas shoebox appeal and the hook a duck at the summer fete. If you want to do it - then great, knock yourself out - just don't moan about it."
here for example...
you might muddle through quite happily... other children won't get that support. And yes the activities are a nice add on for the vast majorty, but as all the reading helpers come from the PTA here, lots of children wouldn't be heard regularly if it wasn't for them. It might not be the difference between a child and a miserable life, but it certainly helps them fulfill their potential.

I volunteer with the learning support team to deliver a specific reading support programme. My son benefitted from it for a year and he did so well I want to continue so others get the same opportunity. Lots of kids use the programme without their parents getting involved - as a fee paying school I think many feel they're paying so aren't willing to volunteer as well, but I don't know their situation so it's not for me to judge. I also help at exam time in the high school dept.

There are plenty of other things I could do with my time, and my only motivation is to help the kids so I find the sneery comments here strange. Good luck with your perfect lives and your perfect kids; I hope you never need to rely on the kindness of strangers.

The views of Daily Mail Readers Abetadad and Northernlurker sum up some fundamental societal problems of our culture in the UK; selfishness, a lack of community and complete disregard for others less fortunate.

I have helped in the past, but work p/t and now have a 2 year old, so can't go with him in tow on the days I'm free.

I take my share of helping at at their evening activities, and am a Community Councillor for this area. I'm full of admiration for people who do get involved with schools to whatever level, but appreciate that not everyone can help. However, there are some parents who never, ever help with anything that their kids are involved in, despite being in a position to do so. That attitude really stinks.

I have been actively involved with reading and PTA at my sons' school because I enjoy it, my boys love seeing me there and it's something I've been brought up with.

There are certainly no 'favours' conferred on my children as a result. What utter crap.

I certainly don't go to every meeting but make the time to help out when I can. I work two full-on teaching jobs almost to full-time hours, including evenings.

Due to lack of 'uber mums with too much time on their hands' my sons' school will not be having a Christmas Fair this year.

Reading this thread, 3 things come to mind immediately:

1. Amazed at the sneering and condescending attitude toward parents who volunteer time/effort/resources to enhance school life. There is also a tremendous amount of cynicism, as many think most volunteers have ulterior motives and selfish agendas (Sure, those sorts of people exist, but I don't believe they are a majority.)

1. The sneery cynical parents who don't volunteer because they don't want to/figure they've 'paid already so don't need to do more' certainly expect (and demand) that their children have access to (and fully utilise) the extra equipment and materials provided by the fund raising efforts of the PTA, Parent Association etc.

1. There are countless threads here from parents facing the challenge of gaining a place for their children at 'good' schools. Undoubtedly, a 'good school' is obvious by the test results achieved by the students. But when a parent (and child) visit/choose a school, their choice is also influenced by other factors - atmosphere, happy children, motivated/effective staff, etc. Good facilities and equipment are also a big bonus. A school with an active and effective PTA/Parent's Association/Class Rep system undoubtedly has more 'advantages', because it is those volunteers who contribute significant extras to daily school life.

I've just been kicked off the PTA actually, for failing to turn up to events and help out. Despite me offering to help via email, apparently help is only accepted if offered directly in the playground, something I'm unable to do being a working mother as I use a childminder. I think it's great people volunteer, however I do this it's just for the extras, no necessities. Children don't need trim trails, I don't remember having one as a child and we managed alright. What's wrong a ball or elastic, anyone remember elastic?!

Also should have added in my most recent post that it is the parent volunteers who often are the 'engine' for many extra programs (reading, etc) that enhance school life significantly.

I'm a parent Governor I wanted to contribute in some way but, at the risk of sounding like something of a monster, I'm really not that great with kids and didn't want to spend time in the classroom interacting with the little darlings.

I do turn up and spend money at all the fetes/fayres/cakes sales and happily donate stuff and bake cakes when required.

I also still have dd2 at home so don't have a huge amount of time during the day.

I can't help with school-hours things because of work but I do try to pitch in with cake sales and school events, it's such a little school that they need all the help they can get. If I was at home all day I'm sure I'd get more involved - but then I'd be an Uber Mum then wouldn't I? . I just try to wow everyone with my contributions to the Christmas play costumes.

Sent DH to the PTA meeting does that count?

indiechick - what if you said to the PTA organiser that you'd like to help out, but are unavailable during school hours due to your work/ childcare schedule? Ask them if there is anything you could do given those restrictions.

SAHM have more flexible schedules and can, in theory, contribute differently to school life than WOHM. Put the onus on them to find a way for full time working mothers to be involved in a different (and manageable) way.

I don't demand anything - the resources are provided for all the kids. They don't actually come with labels saying 'only use if your parent volunteers for the PTA'

Obviously were those resources not provided that would be a shame but it would NOT be critically to the detriment of the education provided by the school. The local authority has a statutory requirement to provide education. It is not down to the PTA to do this. I find it a little bizarre actually that so many of you have reacted aggressively to the use of my description 'uber mum with too much time on their hands'. That seems to touch a nerve doesn't it? Is it inevitable that in joining the PTA you take on an attitude of criticism and hostility to anyone who points out that actually you aren't saving the world one cake stall at a time. You are volunteering to help in your child's school. Doesn't make you a better parent or a better person - anymore than saying NO makes you an all-round selfish monster. It's absurd the amount of superiority and guilt people seem to associate with this activity. Indiechick - I am appalled but not surprised you have been evicted from the PTA. I don't think it always brings out the best in people.