How would Autistic children in a class effect my daughter ?

[mummyloveslucy]

Hi, I'm concidering a primary school with a specialist unit attached for children with autism. They are in the regular classes as much as possible and they play with the other children at play times.
I just wondered how it would affect teaching for the rest of the class? I know that autistic children need a lot of support and attention, bless them and could be disruptive. I also worry about supervision in the playground, as I know form experience of working with autistic adults that they can become violent and be unpredictable.
I want my daughter to grow up having an understanding and tollerence to all sorts of people, but I do think I'd worry about her as she is very tactile and very sensitive. She is also very easily disrupted.

I wondered if it was regional. sub-human might be a little strong, but perhaps more appropriate for a baby than a child? I come from London where we are perhaps too cynical and sarcastic though, so would assume some negative agenda, where you might just be being nice

mll, I agree that it's better to ask.

But

You said in your op that you have experience of working with adults with autism. So essentially you should have greater knowledge of autism than the average man off the street. And yet you still came here with this attitude. For me this raises several concerns:

If someone who apparently has experience of autism has this attitude towards autistic children, what hope is there for parents who have never encountered autism until they are faced with it in their child's class/in the playground accepting that the autistic children will be educated beside their pfb?

And if you have learned more about autism during the course of this thread (the past half hour or so), then what kind of support are autistic adults receiving in this country?

nooka : "I know one or two people who use the term "bless them" frequently, as a normal thing to say about anyone (adult, child etc), but generally I think it can be seen as very condescending (perhaps slightly sub-human). "

I read this thread and tried to stay away but really, that is so unbelievably insulting. mll has apologised for her use of language and possible offence, she explained why she used "bless them" and that in hindsight probably wished she had not.
Just give her a break. Reading this is like one of those documentary films where a bunch of police struggle with someone and once on the ground cannot help but carrying on kicking and kicking and kicking..

Give her a break please. This is not what mumsnet should be about. The point about her use of language and whether or not she was a troll was sorted out 2 pages ago.

I honsetly, seriously never realised that autistic children could be cuddly etc. I thought they didn't like anything like that.
I can see my daughter making a best friends with some of your children.
The children in her nursery without SEN's usually push her away when she tries to cuddle them.
After speeking to you all, I'm confident about her going to the right school. Thanks.

Oh phew pagwatch

I thought you were going ot say, what wrong with calling your dd Doris, all of my dds and dsesare called Doris, wanna fight?

I have a whole bunch of specific learning diffs, and have taken great pleasure when someone makes an, ahem, erroneous comment, and I say "Oh yes, I have that, but much worse" even when not worse [bad cat]. I do like the "Oh er do you I would never have guessed you seem normal oh look is that the time I must dash," that follows.

bless them is not a sub human comment - huge amounts of inference from those who think that imo.

Where I worked, the home was for challenging behaviour. Most of them were autistic, but some had other learnig disabilities.
The autistic people I cared for had very severe needs like learnig difficulties, deafness, blindness etc. none of them could talk and communication was very basic.
I'm sure if the home was just for people with autism, I'd have got a wider picture. If the clients didn't have challenging behaviour, they wouldn't be in this particular home.

Mummy loves Lucy. I think that you were asking a genuine, if a little badly worded, question.
I have read some of your recent threads on here and whilst I sympathise with your feelings about Lucy starting school ( these feelings are normal) you do seem a little more worried than most.

I have 2 DDs at primary school and was a reception teacher myself, before I had them. So, I have experience from both sides, as it were. I think that you need to relax a little. You were very positive about the school in your previous threads and so you need to have confidence in your decision and try and enjoy the experience with Lucy. Try not to think about all the things that could go wrong but how much she will gain from her experiences at school.

It is natural to worry , of course but she may start to pick up on your anxieties and worry more herself.
You make your DD sound very friendly and I am sure she will really enjoy making new friends and part of that includes learning to deal with others of all shapes and sizes.

well we are all very judgey this evening

how about some advice for the op before throwing up arms in horror? why she should not be asking this question about her daughters education. don't we all want the best for them autism or not??

fwiw mummy loveslucy - i am with ladymuck, go with gut instinct and feeling about the place, regardless of the specialist unit (and the miserable sods on this thread!)

Thank you.

I suppose I'm more concerned than others due to my own school experiences. I aws badly bullied and has dyslexia, which was diagnosed when I was 8 and didn't know many of the letters in the alphabet.
I also took up a LOT of the teachers time.

I know schools have changed since then, but I still keep thinking of my own childhood.
You're right, I want the best for my daughter.

Sorry mummyloveslucy, it was the bless them that made me think you were joking. I cannot help with your question as we have no experience. Hopefully someone else will be helpful.

I found it quite funny that Mumblechum corrected my spelling at the beggining, but I couldn't see the difference in what she wrote to what I worte.
You have to laugh at your self sometimes.

MLL - The simple answer is that none of us can really tell you how your dd might be affected by being in a classroom with children with autism, anymore than we could tell you how your dd might be affected by being in a classroom with NT children. Every child is different.

There might, for example, be a child like ds1 (ASD). He is very big on following rules and so will sit quietly and get on with his work. If he were to spot your dd breaking a class rule he might feel compelled to point this out to her. He doesn't like noise so will prefer the classroom to be quiet. He has never been violent to anyone. If something upsets him he will cry. He's a bright boy who is happiest when left to get on with his work with no interruptions.

There might be a child like ds2. He doesn't like noise and also prefers a quiet classroom. He is now in Yr1 and again doesn't get violent. If he is upset he will cry and/or blame himself for it, usually calling himself names or hitting himself. He likes to keep himself busy so will usually be found doing his work or, if he has finished already, looking at books or drawing pictures.

Other children may well be completely different to either of mine.

One thing I remember the Reception teacher telling me was that the things that had been set up to help my two boys were also things that were useful for the other children. The picture timetables of the day's activities were a great way of letting all the children know what was planned for that day. The quiet corner to retreat to was useful for other children who were finding school overwhelming. The teacher also knew that if they saw ds put his headphones on that the classroom was getting too noisy and that it was their cue to calm the other children down a little.

It sounds great coppertop. My daughter is also very easily overwhelmed and isn't keen on to much change, so I think some of the things put in to place will really help her too.

umm Lemontart I was trying to explain why the term "bless them " can be seen as offensive, hence people getting upset. MLL did ask if it was after all. I didn't think MLL was anything other than a little anxious, and hope that my experiences with a very similar school set up were useful.

Can I just say how much I hate it when an OP is slated immediately like this. It is knee jerk reaction for which I beratemy kids.
It is also inexcusable when the grammar, spelling ect is used as a tool to beat the OP.
It smacks of intellectual and class snobbery.
Oh I won't listen to you 'cos you can't spell occasion...
There are members of this site who were not well educated, members who do not speak english as a first language, members who are dyslexic ( me!!! ), members who are disabled and find typing difficult. Are they not welcome? Are they to be derided?
Or are only those with a phd in semantics and linguistics allowed to express and opinion.

Thanks Litchick.

I'm not sure it's a knee jerk reaction - more an exhausted one. I'm fairly fed up of my son as being seen as some sort of vegetable because he doesn't talk, of being seen as not desirable to be around because he hits (himself in the main, then me, never anyone else), when actually he's just a very vulnerable little boy who can be very loving. I'm not saying the OP said all that (she didn't).

I think (in the OP's defense) iirc she lives near me, where 'bless" and variations of are used frequently and non-offensively.

I think a school that has such a high profile with regards to SEN children would be a fantastic school - what is good practice in SEN is good practice for all children.

Your son sounds lovely, definatly not like a vegetable or undesirable at all.

I'm used to people giving my daughter funny looks when she trys to talk to people, or looking in disgust when she wets/soils herself in public. One old lady acctually said to me once "She should be potty trained at her age!".

Only you know how fantastic your children are.

Jajas, a bit out of order to recommend a "6 week holiday" because the OP said something unwise

Mummyloveslucy, you do seem to be struggling with the thought of your daughter starting school, and it is a little out of proportion, tbh. Have you ever received counselling for your experiences? I say this sincerely, because I worry a little that your child is going to be suffocated by your anxiety.

Lucy needs a mummy who is confident that she is going to do great at school! Even if that is not how you feel. She needs to know that you believe in her.

Oh bloody hell lou234iu23oi4u23984u that's projecting a bit!

She's worried about her child starting school - it's a normal response, not out of proportion at all

Then you tell her you're worried that her child is going to suffer because MLL isn't confident in her dd's ability to do well in school. How does that help?

Unless you are a rl close pal of MLL that statement was, to be kind, farking barking.

MLL I'm glad to see you didn't abandon this thread when the going got rough, but were able to take in what people were saying. I'm sure your DD will just be fine.

Oh she does know I believe in her. I'm always telling her how proud I am of her.
When we went to see the school, she loved it and I really praised it to her saying things like- You'll have lots of fun hear, you can do music, ballet etc. You'll be a big girl like your cousin.
I am so positive around her, and just vent my concerns on MN.
I know what you meen about my experiences though. I know that it's still efecting how I feel, the last thing I want is for Lucy to know I'm worried.
The teacher has said that I can come and help with reading etc and they like parents to help out in the school. I think this would be great for me, it'd really sink in that schools are different now.

God, how patronising do I sound?