How would Autistic children in a class effect my daughter ?

[mummyloveslucy]

Hi, I'm concidering a primary school with a specialist unit attached for children with autism. They are in the regular classes as much as possible and they play with the other children at play times.
I just wondered how it would affect teaching for the rest of the class? I know that autistic children need a lot of support and attention, bless them and could be disruptive. I also worry about supervision in the playground, as I know form experience of working with autistic adults that they can become violent and be unpredictable.
I want my daughter to grow up having an understanding and tollerence to all sorts of people, but I do think I'd worry about her as she is very tactile and very sensitive. She is also very easily disrupted.

Mummyloveslucy - your daughter will be fine. She sounds from all your many posts to be a sensitive and mature young lady. Stop worrying about her and let her get on with life. SHE WILL BE FINE!

The fact that the school has an autism unit means that the staff will be very aware and switched on to children with special needs, and will be able to deal with your dd's speech difficulties. She will be fine.

Oh dear.

I think she's concerned about her child at school and has tried too hard to post in the least offensive way.
Unfortunately, there isn't any way you can get away from: I'm worried the autistic children will hurt my dd at school, which is a part but not all of what she's asking.

An unwise post, perhaps, and poorly worded, but I don't think her intentions are to patronise or upset.

I'll just wait for mll to come back and post a reply before posting what I think.

(cluck cluck)

fabio is right

but how many people would have thought 'autistic children, I'm not having my kids mixing with them' and not even considered the school?

and tbh there will be children who upset your child at school, no matter if your child has ASD, is NT or what kind of school they go to - that's just life, isn't it?

i agree the fact the school has attached unit means that they are more switched on too autism.our local primary school has arb unit which is great as the children all mix as they should and they have any extra needs meet in the unit.your daughter will be fine im sure.if she has her own individual needs which may effect her at school id suggest speaking to the school before she starts.
it is hard to say what you think without offending.

Cappy - loads, I think.

I wonder if Mummyloveslucy's (and yes, I do infer much from that nickname) experience of adults with ASD has blurred her expectations.

I am feeling extremely sorry for the OP .. I actually think this is a valid question when you have no experience of children with autism and your child is due to start school of course you would want to know how it might affect your own child's education.

Any special need that has a behavioural aspect can be concerning.

Personally I believe that the benefits to your child are immense .. their understanding and acceptance that people perceive things differently from the way they do will hold them in good stead throughout their lives.

In my experience, all the autistic people I've worked with have been violent. Maybe that's just where I worked?
I know that autism is a huge spectrum and they vary so much. My daughter has SEN's and wouldn't think anything of going up and hugging an autistic child who might not want to be hugged.
I know I have dodgy spelling and probubly not much of a clue about autism, I didn't meen to cause offence to anyone. I put "bless them" so you wouldn't think I had a problem with autistic children, or any other SEN for that matter.
If someone posted about my daughter's needs affecting the other children in the class, I'd try to reasure them and tell them about her.

MLL, my ds has an autistic child in his class, full time, who has his own TA as support. He is a really, really lovely incredibly gentle child and not at all disruptive. He has occasional tearful strops, but that is all. He does well academically. He is much loved by his classmates.

Your daughter will be fine.

"If someone posted about my daughter's needs affecting the other children in the class, I'd try to reasure them and tell them about her."

good on you

it's come to something when people can't ask a question without being lynched unless they have the right vocabulary

and if they did they wouldn't need to ask the question

don't worry MLL .. it is the accepted gut reaction to kick off at a post like this. I can understand those with personal experience being fed up with it all to be honest though

mummyloveslucy - you really have to stop fretting about this decision. A school with a specialist unit for autistic children will have teachers and playground supervisors who understand the issues involved and will be able to make sure that all of the children are well looked after.

You're happy that they understand your daughter's SEN, aren't you? And that they will treat her as an individual, and look after her? The fact that they have a lot of other children with SEN is a good thing, not a bad thing, as they will be more used to treating people as individuals and helping them develop their own strengths.

I know you worry about making the right decisions for her, but I'm sure you're making the right one with this school.

mummyloveslucy i really am sorry.im not normally mean ever.

ok. My opinion for what it's worth is:

Often one of the biggest factors in children with sn causing disruption in class is lack of support, or the child being made to go to mainstream school when that is potentially not the best option for that particular child.

But as your dd's school has an autistic unit attached, one would hope that they have the experience/training to be able to provide the appropriate support for the children, be that within the unit itself or in the main classroom setting.

Fwiw there are three children in my ds' class with ASD - one of whom has only recently been diagnosed. of the three children, only one has shown violent tendencies in the past, and that was pre dx, when he was merely considered a naughty child and was acting out his frustrations. Since the school and other professionals have become involved a lot of strategies have been put in place to help him deal with his issues, and now he is coping much better. The other two children have never shown any violent tendencies at all, and although some of their behaviors can be challenging, on the whole they are not a disruption to the class.

There will always be children in school who are disruptive/violent, and they won't necessarily have sn. Unfortunately that is just a fact of life, and is something your dd will have to learn to deal with as she goes through school.

I would be curious though to see whether she will still be happily reassuring people ten years from now as I am.After ten years you do get pretty goddamn tired.
And my reaction was not intended as a lynching. It is incredibly hard to be faced endlessly with hugely incorrect assumptions about my child. Incredibly tiring and depressing.

And knowing that my other children have to deal with this stuff too 'little jonnie won't come and play because your brother is....'

Sorry mummyloveslucy.

I promise that's the first and last time I'll be mean to anyone on here.

what 'attitude'?

she is considering a school with a specialist unit

she is asking more informed mners if it will be okay

what 'attitude' is that?

she has said 'bless them' and that is what has got your back up

I have heard people with their own disabled kids say far more bleedin patronising things about sn children than 'bless them'

Apologies to mummyloveslucy made some wrong assumptions about you from your OP.

very good point wannaBe.

MLL well done for coming back and standing your ground.
Posts like yours are bound to cause upset by their nature as much as the wording.
I would challenge anyone without a child with ASD to write a similar post without causing ire.

do you know i had the very same concerns as you when my kids started school, i was worried that "those" kids would be too noisy too demanding of the teachers time asking lots of questions and that type of stuff that "those" sorts of kids do "bless them".
but you know i didn't need to worry my kids were fine with it, it must have been hard for them being surrounded by "those" kids all day but really it was ok.
you see those kids (bless 'em) were different from our kids
cos our 3 have autism.

hmmm

i can understand your concerns and i have 3 children 2 of which have an ASD. neither of my boys are violent or aggressive (not in school anyway lol!) but i do know lots of autistic children who are. but tbh the children i know who have behavioural problems as a result of their autism are either at special schools or they have lsa with them most of the times.
why not just give it a go and see? if it doesnt turn out as you might have hoped you could always move your daughter but i would have thought its a great way of teaching her to be tolerant and understanding of other peoples needs and differences
hth

Is "bless them"/ "bless her" patronising ? I say it about my daughter all the time.

If a parent of an autistic child said to me. I'm a bit concerned that your daughter might upset my child by hugging them etc, I'd reasure them that I'd have a word with her and try to make her understand.