Would you send your child to the secondary school where their dad works as a teacher.

[cascade]

My partner has just got a new job at the local secondary, which is the feeder school to where we live. Its the only secondary for the main 2 small towns and surrounding villages. Does anyone have experience of this situation, good or bad.
My partner wants dd to go there, but i have reservations. What do you think?

Hi, I haven't read the whole thread but thought I would add my two penneth worth! I teach in a middle school of 350 in a small town, where there is little choice about where to go to school. For this reason MANY of our staff have had or currently have children at the school. In my opinion it has never been a major problem. It's a great school with few behaviour problems and a real family atmosphere, so it is quite normal to dicsuss any incidents with parents quickly. The only time I can think of is one of our non-teaching staff had an extremely naughty son, and she couldn't cope. She felt like her roles as parent and mum were too close. She moved him in the end. My SIL works at the school and her son (my nephew)is starting next week, he's REALLY looking forward to coming, and having me apparently!!!! (She has made sure she is not teaching him in Year 7)
Hope you are able to make the right decision for your family xx

A friend attended the school where his father taught and was seriously bullied. If his father disciplined another boy a group of would retaliate against him and he didn't feel able to complain as that would be "running to daddy" so he explained the cuts and bruises as "rugby" after three unhappy years he ended up in hospital.

I teach in a huge comprehensive and my ds is there.

I think it is worse for me than him He has had one lot of hassle fom a really stupid boy and that is it. The school came down on it very hard.

I requested not to teach him (which is quite normal) and never have. I am not on his years tutor team or anything like that.

I find it quite useful in a lot of ways, keeping track of him etc, ALTHOUGH I have found it hard to teach friends of his who I have known since they were very little (especially if they are naughty!)

Ds finds it very convenient....free lift home (never turned down)bank on tap (incl for friends who have lost dinner money), bag fetcher homer when he walks home..someone to dump coat on etc etc, I could go on....

Not that it is particularly relevant, but my school was also private. My father did all the parent's evening type stuff, and the bahaviour that my mother got at me for was never raised with my father, as it was so minor as to be unimportant.

SP I'd be interested to know whether you and your dh always obey all the rules all the time. Personally I would be a little concerned if my children were always compliant.

OK, having read the whole thread, I think that the point about standards of behaviour is a bit of a red herring. The point is that the child is always in the parent's domain is the main problem (or would have been for me). Part of the point of going to school is to establish an independent life away from family, and if one (or both) of your parents has a strong personality and then it can be very difficult to develop a personality of your own. I found it hard enough with my Mum being so involved with my life outside of school.

i taught at a school which is the only one for miles, loads of the kids had parents/family working there as we were one of the big employers in town. it's considered as perfectly normal, and i often didn't realise who a child 'belonged' to until i looked up at parents' eve & thought, oh, you serve me lunches, nice to see you. if it's fairly normal at the school (and it could be, in the circumstances) there shouldn't be a problem.

you'll have time to find out what the situation is before you have to make a decision, it depends on what the school is like.

i did find it a bit odd if out drinking, and suddenly found myself chatting to a pupil, and teaching my boss's son (who looked & sounded just like dad) was a little scary!

Can be a tad disconcerting for colleagues too, especially if you are of 'higher status' than other staff who teach your child.

I have the deputy head's dd in my tutor group. She is a sweetie as it happens, but tutor parents' evenings make me squirm when deputy head comes & sits solemnly opposite me to discuss his dd!

It feels like we're doing a spectacularly crap INSET day 'roleplay'...

OTOH I'd happily send my own dc to the school - dep. head's dd is happy there as are several other dc of various staff.

x posted kickassangel...

OMG - given that I'm one of the few who had a positive experience with this, and had both parents at their school, I'm wondering just how normal I actually am!

I haven't analysed this thread, but it seems to me, the adults in the parent/teacher child/pupil situations see no problem with it, where as those who have experienced it as a child seem to have problems.

I'm sure if you asked my mother now, she would say I had no problems. I wasn't particularly bullied,(I dont' think I;m the type to be bullied, if there is one) it was little things like being known as X's daughter, rather than by my real name, and snide comments if I did well in a test sugesting I'd been coached at home. No amount of coaching could have prepared me for the day in day out wearing down those types of comments cause.

I tried desperately hard to fit in, and as a result dumbed down academically and adopted the roughest of accents. My behaviour wasn't a problem, but I certainly didn't feel I could develop as an individual; I was so eager to keep my head down and fit it.

cascade, ask your daughter how she feels when the time comes, and please dont't send her to the school if she would rather avoid it.

And I was one of the brightest (sorry to blow my own trumpet, but it helps set the context) - one of only 8 in the whole 5th form who passed all 8 O levels.

I wasn't bullied, I was known only by my own name and I was perfectly able to develop as an individual. With 1200 pupils it wasn't an issue.

I went to the school where both my parents taught. My dad is the head of maths, my mum teaches sixth form maths.

My dad taught me for 5 years and was my form tutor in year 13 and my mum taught me in the sixth form. Between them they teach further maths and as I did that as one of my A levels, there would have been no escape .

I didn't originally get into that school as I lived outside the zone designated for it. Rather than sending me to the alternative school in the town, my mum taught me at home for a year, until a place became free.

I have often felt that was because it made life simpler to have everyone in the same place - my sister was at the time at the primary school in the same road as the secondary school, but that isn't really the point of this thread .

Personally, I wouldn't choose to send my children to a school where I taught. There was nothing especially hard for me in being in a school where my parents teach, and being taught by them, but it hardly helped me as I was trying to develop into a average adolescent (I was never an average adolescent but at least did manage to catch up a bit when I went away to university).

I think not being taught by your parent(s) would make a difference.

My dad had the choice whether to take my maths set from year 9 and he felt it would be good. Yes I was very good at maths. And yes he and my mum are excellent maths teachers. But it would have been good to be able to "escape" from home at school and school at home sometimes.

I think that LynetteScavo is spot on, it will be down to your daughter as her experience will be individual to the school, her peers and her dad. I have taught children of other staff who seemed to be fine, but of course the experience from their perspective might be different. It may well all work out and she might sail through it- plenty of children in her situation cope well. I think if she knows she can tell you when she has a problem you can stay ahead of any issues.

As I said earlier, it must depend on the type of school. The school I was in only had 400 pupils. The ones that came from private junior schools had a really hard time, but that a whole new thread for it's self!

I agree with Lynette Scavo, on this and similar threads, it does tend to be "the adults who say My child was fine with it and the children who had parents teaching at their school who usually say No don't do it.

my father was a high profile teacher at my secondary school, it was an area with only one school so my parents didn't feel they had a lot of choice but it really wasn't a good idea. especially for my brother who had a really hard time. I would never do it. Not unless there was absolutely no other educational choice possible. Parents who are teachers and think their children are OK with it might not really know, children don't always tell their parents everything at this age.

My Mum was a dinner lady at my secondary school. This was a huge state secondary in a posh end of town, being a dinner lady was hardly cool and the kids at school were not just well off, lots of them also looked down at people who did menial jobs. I had no problems whatsoever and although my mum was often supervising my year group, it really made no difference as I had a good group of friends, lots of self confidence(although I was quiet) and a good relationship with my mum.
I now teach at the school where my son goes and were, ultimately, my daughter will also go. It is a small primary school and I have taught my son several times when I've covered other teachers. It's been fine, he calls me Mrs. Brownmouse and I only pay him the same attention as other kids are paid (really make a point of it, sent him inwith TA when he fell and badly grazed his face and knees etc). He is a well adjusted boy who understands and can separate my home me from my school me. I'm not sure how DD will get on as she is more highly strung and I will probably have to stay more distant from her. The school where I teach is well used to this though as most of the children of the staff have attended, we are used to it, all staff are used to teahcing other teachers' children, it works well. I'm not sure I would presume it would be OK at secondary level though. I know plenty of people who teach at thier kids' secondary schools, but I don't know whther I'd want to. Waffled, sorry!

AAargh! 'where', not 'were', my pedent halo is slipping!

Well I have a different experience in that I wanted to attend secondary school where my mother taught and my two younger sisters went but wasn't allowed. Apparently I couldn't be trusted not to embarrass my Mum so was sent to nearby private school instead. My Mum still doesn't understand that I felt rejected, her view is I should feel lucky being the only one to have private education.

It's true we had a bad relationship when I was teenager (still not brilliant), she uses this to justify her decision but I think it was a direct result. However reading other experiences makes me realise it wouldn't have been good going to that school as she and sister number 1 were not good at boundaries, always discussing school stuff at home. I think my sister may now resent the fact that my Mum basked in her reflected glory ( she was very academic and won all the prizes).

My father was the head teacher of the school I attended.

There are issues but how you and said parent choose to handle it sets the tone for everyone else around. My father made it clear to us and everyone he would not accept tittle tattle and unless it was serious misbehaviour that would be reported by any other kid then he was not interested. I think you end up behaving better and not messing around as much . The vast majority of the time it was not a problem and other kids were fine.

The occasional teacher had a problem with it, but to be honest it was their problem not mine.

It's not really comparable but I'll stick my oar in anyway . My uncle worked in my secondary school as a lab tech, which I kept quiet for as long as I could but eventually the other pupils sussed it out. Probably as he used to drop hints when he set up certain experiments for us and tell my group what we were supposed to have worked out! After a while the novelty wore off and they used to call out 'Uncle ***' when he walked through the classroom or playground.

I'd say you need to be able to separate home and school life but it can be done.

I need more data to be able to answer this question.

On a scale of 1-10 how embarrassing is the father?

On a scale of 1-10 how sensitive is the child?

Agree with Quattro; it's all relative.

I was at the Sixth Form where my mother taught; in fact, I was in her class. If she had happened to be a primary school teacher, or a secondary school teacher in our catchment area, I'd have been at the same school; they didn't do choice in Swedish schools in those days. I knew lots of teachers' kids and even headteachers's kids. Basically, you got bullied if you would have been bullied anyway or if your parent was seriously unpopular. Not just for them being a teacher. My Mum never embarrassed me in any way, and took great care not to know too much about me iyswim.

When I got to uni I was taught by my brother for one module- younger brother at that!

Funny, but DS (Y3!) announced that he wants to go to daddy's sec school - DH is currently Deputy Head.

I said he might feel differently by the time he is 11, but do you think this would be worse than being at a school where your parent is "just" a teacher? Also DS is no angel....