Homeschool or public school?

[OnMyJourney]

I am a mum to an almost 3 year old. She hasn’t gone to nursery and I don’t particularly love the idea of sending her to nursery or preschool. I understand they’re great ways to help kids develop and learn social skills but I hate the thought of sending my child with someone somewhere all day that I don’t know what’s going on, how she’s being treated by adults or other children, are her individual development needs being met or is she just another child in a group of children? I hated school, I don’t agree with the structure of the school curriculum, I feel like they try to turn kids into robots and make them into something they’re not interested in being. I know this may sound dramatic but at school I was bullied by teachers and other children, I was never a popular child I didn’t have many friends and when I did make a friend the soon seemed to disappear. I left school nearly 10 years ago and I don’t speak to anyone I know from school. My medical conditions were overlooked, my head of year and school nurse used to look at me like I’m insane when I talked about my PCOS and how it affected me. I had anxiety the whole way through year 10/11 because of social peer pressure, the stress of GCSE’s and the bullying that the school failed to address. I know this was my experience and my daughter might not have the same experience but how can I know that for sure. I don't like the curriculum I think they waste kids days teaching them about irrelevant things (not everything but some things are like come on for reallll?) I don’t like the fact they worry more about attendance than your child being sick, I hate that they can fine you for taking your kids out for a holiday (Where I work I can’t take holiday in half terms) I hate they feel like they can dictate what my child can or can’t eat, my dad is a Qualified nutritionist who solidly backs what I feed my child but a lot of schools say I wouldn’t be allowed to bring that as a pack lunch.

I understand to some people I may sound crazy or going off my experience which I guess to an extent I am… but I would hate to put my child through what I went through… but on the other hand I’m really worried about making my child miss out on things like making friends, I wouldn’t want her to grow up alone…

Thankfully my work does actually work around homeschooling and I really feel like that’s the right decision but I don’t want her to grow up resenting me for keeping her home, I want her to make friends, then comes the question of do you homeschool their entire school life or just until a certain point?

if anyone has faced this dilemma and has any advice, experiences etc I’d really appreciate it ❤️him

I am sure some people engage in home education in with an open mind and a view to mixing with a wide range of people and have the resources, time and motivation to join a wide range of groups and seek out peers with diverse views and different lifestyles. However, some people dont.
I would never have had the time and resources to replicate the diversity of peer group and experiences DD has has at school. It just isnt something i would have felt able to do.

Who looks after your child when you’re at work?

Looking back on your schooling and listing things you now view as pointless is literally pointless. Schools try to cater for everyone. Not everything is applicable to everyone. Homeschooling is the only option if you want everything tailored to your child.

It sounds like you’re bringing your daughter up to be a domestic goddess!

We have home educated successfully. It's v hard work.
I'd be very clear on what your issues are with the academic and creative curriculum as taught in your specific local schools as it varies hugely, before even considering whether you have the time, money and support to do better. You need to be able to answer some tough questions in reasonable detail before you start and it doesn't sound like you're secure yet in this respect.

No regrets here.

@OnMyJourney

"I would teach my daughter literacy, maths, science, geography, history, practical life skills, and about the world around her."

Not Physics? Not Chemistry? Not Biology? Not Computing? (Not sure what 'science' is in this context. I'm just listing my ancient O-levels.)

Guess which one I made a 35 year career out of?

PS I had two sisters who were vaguely home educated and one of them REALLY didn't benefit from it.

I considered homeschooling just to free up time for music practice. Didn't do it in the end, for various reasons.

They do waste a lot of time on rubbish at school and poor teaching is widespread even at private schools, but homeschooling is a full time job. I know quite a few homeschooling families, and mothers usually don't work. Your planning around shifts is unrealistic in the long run.

For early years education, homeschooling is perfectly fine, many countries don't start mandatory school until 7 and they're usually ahead of the UK on tests so it obviously works better than putting kids in institutional settings from 6 month old.

Homeschoolers we know sat GCSE earlier than school educated DC and achieved top results, but mothers dedicate their whole life to education in these cases.

@YourLoyalPlumOP

"I home edcuate..."

Mmm. See my PP.

Find a small prep school, it’s absolutely the best option. If money is a problem, speak to the school… the education tax will last 3 years at the most and at that point you will be able to get a bursery. You can play secondary by ear, she will be old enough to help with the decision.

I don't understand this "coping with boredom" notion and why this is considered good at all. I was bored witless at school, never learnt how to cope with it and, frankly, it would be useless in real life as there is not a minute of boredom in it! 😂

Apologies for getting invested in this thread.

Boredom - please tell me how recently you have travelled on a British railway journey? Waiting for trains isn't boring? Especially when they're late/delayed/cancelled?

I'd love some tips.

I do at least 10 hours weekly. I work on my phone so barely notice the delays if I don't have appointments. Life really does not offer any boredom these days. Tbh I don't understand where people with kids and work find a minute to spare 😂

Thanks. Perhaps I shouldn't have retired.

Our generation won't have this luxury.

Good luck.

School does not suit everyone and it is a big problem when someone is shoehorned into a system that goes against their very being. It has lasting effects as you are experiencing.

Schools vary enormously - some are wonderful and the pupils thrive, some are just fact factories with crowd control problems - and everything in between.

It would be wrong to assume that your child might experience similar school problems as you did, but you will need to choose your school with care.

Try stay and play to start with - lots of schools run these.

Or there is of course no reason why you should not home educate if you can find the right back-up and support and home ed groups for her to join over time.

My DS who will be 5 is Home Ed feom age 3. He is super aocial and has amazing manners and ettiquette with others even adults. Whem we go to group activities with kids from preschool it really shows how well mannered amd mature he is. He speaks to everyone and is super helpful with the adults and is well mannered to everyone. Wjereas the kids who spend all day with kids can not hold a conversation with anyone are unhelpful and don't know how to play collaboratively.

We attended a preschool, ages 3-5, group last week and the others were snatching toys and crafts and food and acting ferral. Did not greet any other parent or the organisers. My son was 😵 he didn't understand why the others were not using thier words, saying hello, sharing and being kind.

We do lots outdoors and I set an example.of how to spark up conversation eith others who are not the same age not the same background etc. And he has learnt from example. If you home Ed you really have the chance to help your child develop onto a very good human being as well as the 1-1 education. If you work hard at it it is 1000% worth it.

My eldeat started to read at age 4, is reading and writing, now well into maths amd KS2 in most areas.

I think your initial premise is wrong for a couple of reasons.

You say it is 50:50 whether your child will get on at regular school, but that can't be right. The vast majority of children are completely fine about going to school.

Also you are wrong about how much time is devoted to particular subjects at school. My son is in Year 9. I just checked his timetable. Next week:
2 x 1 hour history lessons
2 x 1 hour product design (his favourite subject, undertaken in incredibly well equipped workshops)
2 x 1 hour geography
4 x 1 hour maths
4 x 1 hour English language/literature
1 hour each Chemistry, Biology, Physics
2 x 1 hour French
2 x 1 hour drama
2 x 1 hour PE
1 hour computer science
1 hour art

We go to loads of museums and do cooking and crafting at home. That's just normal family life.

The problem is, feral is where society is heading currently. You have to raise your children to be able to function in the society they’re in, not the one you want. They have to learn to be able to deal with these people or their adult life is going to be incredibly difficult.

My children who attend school are able to hold conversations with adults. They are also mature, well mannered and as far from ‘feral’ as you could imagine. I don’t think sweeping negative generalisations help anyone.

Oh god you’re still here banging on about the education tax that isn’t an education tax

That’s right there are no other polite engaged and mature 5 year olds, only those home educated. Rubbish

I’m assuming you mean home educate rather than send to state school? In England public schools are very posh and expensive private schools? Unable you’re not in England.

I don’t home ed but I’ve looked into and may move one child to flexi schooling and we may need to home ed in the future.

I am not sure how you would work all night and then be able to home ed, especially when they’re young and need supervising all the time. I’m a qualified teacher and honestly I would rather not home educate as it’s such a big task and being both parent and teacher at the same child can be difficult (thanks lockdown). But if my children need it I will do it but I expect it to be hard work.

Why do you think the timetable is universal? My DS's timetable was very different to yours, am I also wrong about time devoted to subjects? 😁

So do we need to equip our DC with knives and teach how to use them if other DC come to school with them? Life can certainly be very difficult without these life skills.