overwhelmed with back to school and autistic ds starting y7 with no ehcp

[dinosaursroars]

im dreading back to school

ds14 had issues last year with his behaviour and he got the most behaviour points in his year. he did calm down by the end of the year and he dropped classes he didn’t enjoy and is now staring his gcse options but he will have new teachers who dont know him and i worry they will be stricter compared to his other ones who probs did let him get away with stuff bt the end of the year as they knew him and knew he had turned most stuff around

ds11 is autistic and starting the same school with no ehcp which i need to sort and im stressed last year he constantly had a new senco starting and they werent much help they kept mentioning the ehcp process but it was never started i dont think and i worry how he will be in a big school he will also have to travel with his older brother on the bus which is another worry but i cant do it everyday and i dont drive either and he was also wetting hinself last year i think he was too scared to ask for the toilet as he had a new teacher after 2 yrs and i dont know what year 7 will be like

ds5 has no sen but he had issues last year with his behaviour he was biting and wouldn’t sit still on the carpet or listen and now year 1 is more serious than reception he won’t get away with it’s his first year in school

eldest is fine but is starting a new course because he didn’t enjoy his other ones and it’s health and social care and he will need a work placement and i think we have to do it

i’m overwhelmed with everything plus trying to apply for DLA and look after baby i just want to take my ds11 out of school but i know he will be best in school but will he if he has issues and is bullied he’s already anxious about staring as it is as he doesn’t want to go to a new school and he’s barely been sleeping because of it or eating

this is just the short version too

If I was you I’d make a list and allocate priorities.

when you do you go back to work?

what about their dad, what’s he going to take off your plate? It’s a team effort!

I feel for you OP. Feeling overwhelmed is horrible.

The PP makes a good point about prioritising / making lists. It sounds like your DS11 will really need your support so I would focus on establishing communication with his new school ASAP. Keep an eye on your other boys but try not to worry when there is nothing to worry about. Hopefully they will settle in really well with a new school year.

I have taught Year 1 before. It is a common concern that it is a big jump from reception from Y1 but the children make so much progress that year and soon adapt. Some children actually respond better to the calmness and structure of Year 1. It’s surprising but I have seen it happen a few times. Sending good wishes to you and your boys.

The ehcp is highly unlikely to have been requested otherwise you’d know and would’ve had to sign a lot of consent forms and you would get communication from the LA.

I would request it myself as his new school is unlikely to do it as they won’t know him.

I agree with making a list and working through it. For example,

1. DLA - If you are applying for the first time, have a look at Contact’s form filling service. On their website, Cerebra has a guide too.
2. EHCP - On their website, IPSEA has a model letter you can use.
3. Is DS(11) under the continence service? If not, look at a referral. In some areas you can self refer. If you can’t the GP, school &/or school nursing service will be able to.
4. Request a meeting with the SENCO at the secondary school to discuss both DS(14) and DS(11).
5. Request a meeting with the SENCO at the primary school for DS(5).
6. Look at school transport.
7. Speak to/support DS1 to speak to the college about DS1’s work placement to know if you need to arrange or if they can help or at least signpost.

Asking for an EHC needs assessment | (IPSEA) Independent Provider of Special Education Advice https://share.google/qeCkDUuuxlTFgXw9m you'll find the IPSEA template letter linked on this page if you scroll down.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_educational_needs/5484488-ehcp-support-thread-no-6?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share and here's the support thread.

Do you know what DS14 has been getting the behaviour points for?

I was a form tutor for year 10 a few years back and when I looked into the large number of behaviour points received by some of my students, a lot of them were basically for being disorganised.

My DD has ADHD and ASD and an EHCP. I try to avoid points for that kind of thing by taking a more active role in packing her bag than I want, having boxes of spare biros, keeping a eye daily on what homework is due etc.

ECOSEAO A4 Plastic Wallets, 5 Pack Colorful File Folders | Plastic Folders with Popper Closure for School, Office, Home, Large Capacity Popper Wallets for Paperwork, Envelopes, Files : Amazon.co.uk: Stationery & Office Supplies https://share.google/Z1L4MxryQ0kJL1GuN I use these to colour code her subjects. She hates them, and a boy might refuse, but not losing stuff is half the battle with GCSE. As well as having revision guides.

We had files at gcse and everything was punched or put in a poly pocket. Lever arch at a level.

Their Dad needs to step up. Firstly you should have a day/afternoon to yourself to clear your head.

I think that would be unusual nowadays as a lot of schools lack lockers.

True.

ds14 got the behaviours for his attitude nothing off to teachers, refusing to leave the classroom when sent out so the behaviour points would just get higher and higher into isolation but then he’d refuse to go to isolation honestly it’s too much to list but he did turn things around and ended up going on the end of year awards trip so he can do it but this summer he’s been a nightmare at home so i worry the work he’s done is gonna unravel and he’s going to play up all the time again. he was fine and organised tbh he rarely got behaviour points for lack of equipment, did for homework but that was the case of him saying he’d done it to me but hadn’t
i just felt judged by them

i know my 11yos ehcp wasn’t done and i just feel i’ve let him down but last year the senco kept changing and kept fobbing me off saying someone would obverse him but it never happened and now hes on his own in the classes pretty much and i don’t know how school are going to figure his classes as he didnt do his sats

That sounds like you have your hands full.

is their dad able to take some of the load off you?

With regard to the DS who is going to high school, can you give them a ring this incoming week and arrange to go and see them to discuss your DS?

what strategies have they put in place for your older one?

@dinosaursroars don't worry about SATs. Most schools do CAT tests in year 7 and that will pick up difficulties. You can apply for an EHCP tomorrow - follow the link in @inthequietofdawn 's post.

In the meantime, email the new school's SENCO and tell them that you have concerns about transition and that you are applying for an EHCP.

Ah OK. I had a similar boy in one of my GCSE classes last year. The problem is, while you are dealing with someone being rude to you and refusing to leave the classroom, you've got 31 other students not doing any work...

BUT! As the parent there is not a great deal you can do about it as you are not there (other than support the school).

Where there is a child with difficulties with learning in a family, it's not unusual to find there's an older one who's managed but also has difficulties. Maybe DS14 doesn't understand the work? Definitely, when you get to speak to the SENCO, mention DS14 as well because year 10 is a hard year. Arrange to meet the year leader as well. How does DS14 get on with his peers? Does he have friends?

Just re-read your original post: as soon as you get to speak to the year 7 lead and/or SENCO, request a toilet pass for DC11. That would at least reduce that anxiety if they agree.