Worried my mixed race state school son may struggle to fit in at Eton?

[UmberQuoter]

I’m probably being completely unreasonable but I’m worried about my son fitting in at Eton
My eldest got his GCSE results yesterday and got all 9s apart from a 7 in French, which he was absolutely gutted about. His dad and I are incredibly proud of him.

Last year he applied for the Orwell Award at Eton and was offered a place conditionally, which is obviously a huge opportunity for him. Neither DH nor I went to university. We went straight into the civil service after school, and we’re very much ordinary people from London. We have a house fully paid off in sw London because we both grew up here bought the house a long time ago, we couldn’t afford a house here now. We’re not privately educated, we’re not from some wealthy family and we couldn’t have afforded private school for our boys.

The reason I’m posting is because I’m suddenly feeling quite anxious about him actually fitting in there.DH thinks I’m overthinking it, but I’m mixed race. My dad is Barbadian and my mum is English, and I’m quite light-skinned essentially as light as Meghan Markle. When I was younger in my late teens a man once approached my dad while we were eating in a pub and asked him where he’d “found” me and congratulated him, because he thought my dad was my boyfriend. Things like that have happened more than once.

Our boys are mixed race too, although you wouldn’t necessarily know it by looking at them. Our youngest is very fair with light brown hair and green eyes, and our eldest has brown hair and brown eyes. They’ve both generally been perceived as white, and when they were younger I was even mistaken for their nanny many many times.

My eldest currently attends a very diverse state school in southwest London. He has friends from all sorts of backgrounds and has never really had to think about whether he “looks” like he belongs somewhere.
But Eton is obviously a completely different environment. I know there will be boys there from all sorts of backgrounds and that he’s been accepted because he’s academically exceptional and clearly deserves his place. I also know that I’m probably projecting some of my own experiences onto him.But I can’t help wondering whether being mixed race, coming from a normal state-school family and not having the same background as many of the other boys will make it harder for him socially.

Am I being ridiculous worrying about this? Would you be concerned about your child going somewhere so different from their current environment or would you just let them get on with it?

And for anyone whose child has gone to Eton or somewhere similar on a scholarship/award from a state school, how did they actually get on ? Would be great to hear from mixed race parents with children who “pass”as white.

He has fulfilled his offer conditions and is very excited but a little nervous. It’s not just a school it’s a boarding school which he’s never done before. I’m nervous we will miss him it’ll be tough going from seeing him everyday. He is academic already knows what he’d like to study at university, all research he’s done himself so he’s looking forward to having all the resources Eton has to offer. Even with applying for Eton he researched this himself and spoke to us then we spoke to his school for support. I didn’t even know this award existed that’s how clued up he is.

Thank you. He’s very excited he has already started packing. He met some of the boys at the open afternoon and got some of their numbers they’ve since created a group chat because they found out in December that they’d been offered a conditional place. They all seem to get on enough to have met up to hang out 3 times over the summer holidays so far.

It covers other extra costs as well but the tuition fees/boarding is the most important cost. The award is means tested so we had to submit our financial information. The award is so much so that the boys who receive it get to enjoy all things the school has to offer but we are also able to cover him with pocket money etc.

Yes it’s tough but he’s 16 I think he’ll enjoy boarding more than I anticipate.
I guess it’s more class than race not sure how well he will bond with the other mixed race kids especially if they’re from very upper class backgrounds but he’s very much looking forward to this and has support from us and his school.

Your son has as much right to be there as others. People can be mean or thoughtless in any place so if people are mean and thoughtless that is on them not your son. It is a massive opportunity. If unbearable then come home.

However, my friend who is a single mother, sent her very clever child to a v. posh school out of the area, and although the child could do the work, they were completely alienated from all her rich peer group.

We are not very rich and the dcs’ fees were paid by their grandparents. Our house is small and scruffy.
None of this was remotely an issue for my dc. Yes, their peers may have come from richer families, but mine were certainly not looked down upon for being poorer.
As I said in a pp, when living at close quarters it’s personality not parents wealth.

@UmberQuoter ,I believe that the scholarship boys are supportive of each other and the school too is supportive of them. The teachers are generally really kind people (I'm not just saying that - I know some of them socially and they're just normal people and I'd say they were a lot more pleasant than some other teachers, state or private, I know).

It is such an enormous opportunity for your son and an immense achievement. I think if your son experiences any 'bullying', it will be coming from the envy of those who (or whose children) do not have the ability or dedication that your son has.

Very best wishes t to you and your family and congratulations to your son.