Would private schools usually keep records of children who have attended entrance exams but were unsuccessful?

[Frumpygal]

Many years ago (it was in the early 2000s) I attended an entrance exam for a private school. I didn't get in, but I am still unclear as to the reason why - I don't know if it was simply because I never passed the exam or if there was any other reason. My mum has been weird about it whenever I've asked her about it. She claims to have received a letter saying I hadn't been accepted, but "can't remember why". I have never seen the letter. I was only 7 at the time and I am now in my 30s.

The private school was (and presumably still is) selective, as I assume is the case with most private schools. It's stuck in my mind because even though I was only there for half a day, there was a a night-and-day difference compared to the state school I was attending at the time. It was only a few miles away from the state school I attended, but it felt like stepping into another world. I would have loved to have gone there and spent my remaining school years there. I subsequently attended a state comprehensive which was quite rough, to say the least. I had a very poor experience there.

I have been wondering, do private schools maintain records of children who have attended entrance exams, including the reasons for being declined entry, and is it likely they would still have such records dating back over 20 years? It bothers me enough that I still think about it sometimes over 20 years later.

I think you know the answer yourself. If something doesn’t feel right the it’s not right. I think your mother has kept information from you.

I am in a different country but I think with GDPR, you can’t really keep records without a good reason. There would be no good reason for the school to keep these records.

Could you ask your mother or aunt what exactly happened again and that you would like the truth? If you tell her you are going to enquire at the school, maybe she will tell you.

She may have had another reason for not sending you there. There might have been bullying or some other reason that she wanted to stop you going there.

It might have records but do you think perhaps your mother/parents couldn’t afford it but doesn’t want to admit this, especially given that you didn’t enjoy the school you went to instead?

It would most likely be that you didn’t pass the exams. My kids are in selective London schools and usually there are rounds to clear. First is the exam and then they would be invited for a second round - more social and group interaction.
so if you just did the exam it would most likely be that. I doubt after 20 years such a record would exist

If your mum is being cagey, it seems likely your parents couldn't afford it or were hoping for a scholarship or bursary which wasn't offered.

Well two obvious answers are - you didn’t pass the exam so weren’t selected for a place.
or your parents could not afford the fees.
Given your mother’s reaction I would think it is the second option. Maybe they were hoping you’d get offered scholarship or something and you didn’t.
It’s a bit odd that this is bothering you 20 years later.

GDPR would mean the data would have been deleted years ago.

I doubt it . Under gdpr entry records may well have been destroyed once that cohort left.

No way should a school be keeping detailed information of applicants who didn’t join 25+ years after they applied. So they almost certainly don’t have anything.

Your mum knows full well why you didn’t go there but she simply doesn’t want to tell you. I would drop it.

The bigger question though is this is really bothering you after so long. I’d suggest you have a good think about why this bothers you so much now and how you resolve that. Because even if you could get the real reason what difference would it make to you now?

I agree that the record wouldn't exist any more.

But assuming that it wasn't financial reasons, the letter would probably say "thank you to little Katy for sitting the exam, the standard was very high this year and we are not able to offer her a place at this time" - I'm not sure what you would be hoping to learn from it.

Maybe your mum didn’t want to tell you that you’d failed the exam. Private schools often do assessments or interviews in addition to the exam so even if you pass the test they may have felt that you or your family wasn’t the right fit. Or maybe your parents just couldn’t afford the fees and had hoped that you’d be offered a scholarship when they entered you for the exam.

what difference would it make if you knew the exact reason you didn’t go there?

It's odd it bothers you so much. Surely, at 7, your parents make a load of decisions for you without explaining why. I agree with PPs that it's likely you didn't get in (in which case the letter would not give a reason) or they decided they couldn't afford it and just told you you weren't going.

Is your mother embarrassed about not being able to provide financially?

If so, she was probably hoping for a scholarship that wasn’t offered.

If not, you probably just didn’t pass the exam.

What are you planning to do with the information? Seems unhealthy to be obsessing about this still.

Not to mention that your impression of the school is probably too rosy. Somewhere that looks idyllic after half a day might have more subtle but just as brutal problems when you scratch the surface.

Rather than wasting energy on records that will have long been destroyed I would focus on why this still bothers you so much. Hanging on to this feeling of 'what might have been' can't be healthy, perhaps a few sessions with a counsellor can help you turn it into 'how can I still achieve what I had hoped private school would give me?'.

Perhaps it was a letter asking you to attend an interview and she realised she couldn’t afford it. Either way by now you would know whether you probably would have passed and how well off your parents were. My guess is she was hoping for a bursary but when she realised it wasn’t possible she didn’t pursue.

I work in a selective secondary private school. And I can almost guarantee they won't have a record of it.

If you had been rejected the letter would be very bland. Agree with pp that you need to work on why this matters to you so long later.

Your DM's reaction doesn't mean there is a hidden bigger reason to why you didn't go.