Would your primary school treat these threats and assaults as violence?

[Lambaandlettuce]

in your primary school is this deemed violence?

we have a just turned 10 year old child in my child’s class whose behaviour is digusting.

We have taken our eldest child out of school this week for their own safety after this pupil threatened to kill them simply because they didn’t want to play tag. We were told by a member of staff this morning the pupil was in school today despite what happened on Thursday. Staff member also said to me I should start considering formal complaints as the head will never consider excluding this child regardless of the number and escalation of incidents. Head has said today that the behaviour is communication and is being managed in line with their policy.

putting arms around neck to strangle other child
punching
saying I hate you and I’ll get you dead
ripping up school art work
bullying every day saying you are weak, you are a pussy, your are just scared of me, I’ll knock yer face off
yanking off play equipment from height and causing huge egg lump bruise on head
using threatening language in school

to staff and in class
hitting TA and pushing her resulting in injury and weeks off work
so disruptive children can’t renewer classroom and have to be taught outside
putting hands around throat of class teacher
climbing on top of windows tables and throwing scissors

@Justploddingonandon The LA will decide on the EHCP but without one, the LA doesn’t have to do anything. Send is a devolved budget to schools.

I tried and the parent went bat shit crazy and I was told to fuck off to my face for trying to be reasonable

@Lambaandlettuce You really really should have kept your distance! How did you think that approach would turn out? You were always going to find a defensive parent. They probably know dc is awful - most parents do care. The minute you approach them, you are criticizing not just their child but them as well. No one ever responds well to that. The child might well be a product of the parents or might even be adopted or looked after. You stirred up a hornets nest and clearly the parent has no control over dc. Your issue is with the school and you have made your position worse by approaching the parent, especially if she has told the head.

Bollocks to your victim blaming @MeetMeOnTheCorner !

Fully agree with this, the end to my dcs similar issue was lamping the violent little shit back, despite the bleating of “kind hands” from the school, despite the year of little shit “acting out their reality

@PoppinjayPolly Your attitude stinks. It’s promoting violence and is disgusting. I appreciate the Op thought she could have a chat but it never works. Telling dc to fight never works either. Your dc will find this out. I cannot abide parents promoting violence - you are no better than the dc you despise. Poor teachers!

How is it promoting violence? Why is violence going one way acceptable, but not both ways?

What a load of rubbish. The school have done little to nothing so the desperate parent is looking for other options. Don't blame them and make out the little shits parents have every right to be abusive.

I understand Sen but with parents like that, this kid has also clearly picked up their language amongst other things. It's because of shit parents who shouldn't be having children, why this country is in the state that it is.

No that’s ok you are probably right. However we were the only two people by our vehicles outside the school premises at the time. I always say hello to her probably one of only 3 people who ever do actually. I shouldn’t have said hello that day, but I did. And I asked how she felt about what had happened and she just went mental. I walked away

I agree with this, the language and behaviour you see modelled at times in public sometimes is eye opening

Year 6 children will be 10 or 11 so over the age of criminal responsibility. You can absolutely call the police. They may or may not do much (sometimes they just refer you back to the school), but it is certainly worth a try. Might light a rocket under the head and governors, anyway.

Keep them home until school can tell you exactly how they plan to keep your child safe at all times. Give their attendance stats a real battering. That's all they seem to care about now.

As for the other child, I would encourage yours to fight back. Bullies will stop only when forced to. You have to be more willing to hurt them than they are to hurt you. Make it too risky to target you.

I was bullied and hurt throughout school, only stopped in secondary when my dad grabbed the main offender by the throat and made it very clear that if he touched me again, he wouldn't be walking away. The other I sent to hospital myself and finally I could walk down the corridor without getting jumped. I feel for your DC, it's awful having to go to school when you're scared.

@Lambaandlettuce The parent was upset because she knows no one likes her or speaks to her. She’s clearly stressed. As indeed you all are. None of this is good for anyone.

Is this dc y6? So he’s going soon. I hope they might get him into a pru for a bit! Your issue is with the school managing this DS to ensure the safety of others. They are failing at that. I would use the complaints procedure at the school once you are certain the head won’t budge and has responded to your complaint to them unsatisfactorily. I’m wondering where this DS will go next?

How are you getting on with school op?

Do you know if all of this is recorded on CPOMS? It should be. Do a subject access request to see all cpoms relating to your child.

If your done with the school and happy to blow this up.

Also you could follow the complaint procedure and the moment school don't follow it, get proof and cc in Ofsted. Ofsted will do the sum of Zero but if you say school are not following their own policy or KCSIE they might poop themselves out of inertia. Honestly the best route is one more incident = police.

Police = gossip = bad rep for HT = action for HT self preservation. You will never get a head like this to put kids over their own arse. They close ranks. Police outrank schools.

They likely will IME. My son had a knife pulled on him in school
and police didn’t pursue it.

the child was suspended for 2 days. I pulled mine out du to anxiety and got a managed move.

I realise the thread will have moved on from this point and will read on now but wanted to share my experience

Caught up now.

Sorry to hear your son was attacked again. But glad to hear you now have police involvement.

I would though look at managed lives as it comes under something called fair access protocol. Which means you can be given a place in a school that says it’s full.

If you can get a GP appointment re anxiety it’ll really help your case.

@Lambaandlettuce The police will almost certainly say it’s a school matter. That’s normal when it’s children. The police might talk to the head briefly but what can they do - realistically? Nothing. School discipline policies always are the default position and the head needs to exclude this child. The police cannot do it!

Nauseatingly pathetic comment.
Just put up with little Timmy strangling, threatening to kill and punching because fighting back would be “promoting violence” 🤔. I’m sure there’s some sob story about Timmy’s parents divorce in there too so he’s got an excuse to beat the other kids.

God the way some people think

Sadly this is becoming normal- for every school to have a child whose behaviour terrorises children and more likely the TA’s who work 121 with them. The abuse these children hand out, while protected, is awful.

@Latinglow Do not hurl accusations at me. Schools are required to deal with violent dc. Children should never be encouraged to be violent! What a horrible society you are promoting. The problem is the school not excluding this dc.

Schools don’t easily exclude children like they used to in fact it looks bad on their ofsted they’re supposed to wave a magic wand and turn Timmy into an angel.
If an adult was trying to strangle you, through scissors at you and saying they were going to kill you on the daily and calling the police just resulted in them being taken to do colouring in (the result of telling teachers about a bully in many modern schools) you would probably hit them back. Or just tolerate getting strangled because Timmy must be having a hard time?

@Latinglow Heads have the power to exclude. I posted what ofsted say earlier. You are wrong. The power to exclude exists!

I was bullied like this as a 6/7 year old and it has affected the rest of my life. I appreciate that it is difficult if alternatives are some distance away, but if school are not doing anything please just leave.

As an adult I discovered that the bully was being sexually abused by her father. Whilst feeling desperately sorry for her, now as a parent I would just remove my daughter after giving the school couple of weeks to sort things out.

Incidentally, I was moved after 18 months of this. My class fell from 24 to 6 entirely because of the lack of action taken by the school.