School staff member took my child’s toy (for his own child) after confiscating items for sale

[Busyybee]

My DC has recently been selling squishy toys at school, he’s an entrepreneur in the making. However we told him it wasn’t a good idea and he carried on.

On Friday he got caught and his teacher gave me his school bag which contained ‘his stock’. They asked me to not allow him to bring them in as it’s not allowed. I told them I’m glad they’ve said it to him & he won’t be bringing them again. As the teacher handed me the bag, another staff member who works at the school asked to see what he was selling and went on to take 1 squishy & said ‘this will be nice for my daughter’. My DC asked him for the money & the staff member said ‘No, your lucky I didn’t take the lot’

My DC asked the staff member for the money or squishy back & he said ‘Na na your not getting it back, your lucky it wasn’t (deputy head) as she would of taken the lot’

This doesn’t sit right with me, value is only £1 but it’s the principle. What is this teaching the children?

What do I do about this?

She says she has, but she then clarifies that she bought the items for him. And that she's an online seller. So basically, she's upset that she lost some of her stock and that using her son's school as a marketplace for her business is now off limits.

I have never known children sell things in school in that way, it seems quite tacky to me.

The teacher was wrong to pocket the toy but I'd just let it go now and not allow your child to sell goods at school in future. It's not a market.

Teachers an asshole.
How rude.

To clarify the OP facilitates the child to do this! She’s got her own son into trouble. Now doesn’t like the result.

She of course is the parent, so she can totally do that and no one must question it?

Read the updates, surprise she’s an online seller and buys the stuff for her son to sell! I suppose it saves her giving him pocket money!

But of course, that’s all fine and the teacher must be wrong!

We are not talking about a school consequence here, the teacher broke the law. The thread is asking about the teacher's conduct.

Your argument is like saying if a child brings class A drug into school, it is fine for teachers to take it in the classroom.

Ty! I can’t believe people are diverting from what’s actually happened! I’ve clearly acknowledged my child shouldn’t have taken them to school!

However 2 wrongs do not make a right! Wth is wrong with people!

100% NOT!

my child gets pocket money from me - they choose to buy a few bits from me stock at the price I purchased it for! I do NOT profit from them selling at school & all they make per item they have sold has been 25p-50p!

I couldn’t care less about the item, like mentioned before it’s worth 94p incl VAT! I’m not going to sit & cry here when my business is booming, I don’t need extra sales!

Online I can turnaround 5x the price per item! So I certainly don’t push for him to sell them at school as I’d be making more selling online myself!

Do yourself a favour & stop commenting if you don’t have anything to say about the teachers situation!

I don’t think I could have said any more clearly thar I don’t think the teacher’s behaviour was acceptable. But there are two issues. The first is the teacher taking the toy, and the OP asked for views on how she should deal with it. This is linked to the child selling toys in school and the OP not stopping him from doing so. If the OP had stopped hwr child from taking the toys into school to sell, and thereby contravening the school’s rules, the issue with the teacher would never have arisen. The OP should be thankful that her child isn’t facing a suspension for his behaviour - one of rhe schools I work for has suspended, and on one occasion permanently excluded, pupils for selling things in school.

You've said you think it is ridiculous that the OP is making a formal complaint. OP said she supported the teacher when they asked that DC does not sell at school, this thread is not about the child's behaviour but about another teacher stealing from her child. I believe that needs addressing with the school.

How can you pretend you thought it was wrong when you were the one who sold him the items? 😂

It's amazing to me how difficult it is for some people to hold two ideas in their heads at the same time.

It is very possible for the teacher also to be wrong.

There are two cases of bad behavior in this tale.

The child behaved badly so should be punished, both by the school and by their parent. The teacher behaved badly but must not be punished? The child must be taught why their behavior was inappropriate and not to do it again. The teacher must... not be deterred from breaking the rules with impunity again?

Of the two cases, I regard the teacher's as the more serious. The child broke school rules. The teacher potentially broke the law. The child has the excuse that they're still learning how to behave in society. What's the teacher's excuse?

I just don't understand your reasoning.

But you don't think it's a good idea to report unacceptable behavior in a teacher?

Your argument is flawed. The child's actions prompted a response from that teacher. The child's actions did not force that teacher to make an inappropriate, unacceptable response. If that teacher was unable to muster a more appropriate response, they need more training.

Furthermore, OP alleges that the child's class teacher had already addressed the issue, with what was arguably a more appropriate response, and this other staff member chose take the toy afterwards.

Because it all started at the beginning of the year them selling to local friends (OUT OF SCHOOL)! I did not encourage them taking it to school, as I get my deliveries my kids help me sort through them.

And help themselves to what they want? Why didn’t you stop him taking stuff helping? Oh hang that would mean discipline and parenting, leave it, get the school to do that for you.

What part of the responsibility is the parents, who knew all about this, funded it, ordered the items?

None?

Oh you must get the item back!!! Think of your loss of profit!!

The school did that. The OP supported that.

Then a teacher stuck his nose in, interfered when a colleague had already dealt with it appropriately, and nicked something that didn't belong to him and took it for his own child. He can fuck right off with that.

A child's behavior reflects what they learn from the people around them. In most cases, parents are the largest influence. OP has stated that her DC disobeyed her and was in the wrong to sell the items in school. And if you think your DC have never disobeyed your direct instructions, well, I have a bridge you might be interested in buying.

A child's behavior is also influenced by what they see at school, both their classmates and their teachers. If the blatant disregard for rules displayed by both the staff member who took the toy and the class teacher who observed the incident without objection is normal at the school, that's not going to be helpful in teaching children to behave well. The easiest way to confuse them is "one rule for us, another rule for them".

I am reserving judgement on what happened until, and if, we hear from OP the outcome of the head's enquiries. There could have been a misunderstanding. If not, the member of staff is way out of order and a bit dim not only to steal a child's property to give it to his own child, but to do so in front of the child's parent and a fellow teacher.

A good few of them will be teachers who have done similar things. Then some who are not teachers, but have also done similar things.

Report them for misconduct.

Confiscating items does not give a teacher a right to take them home for themselves!

Take it in writing to the Head Teacher, and if you’re not satisfied with the response make an official complaint to the school, and if it’s a state school and the school’s complaints procedure isn’t enough, complain to the local authority.

Stealing from students confiscated items is not ok. They would likely be allowed to dispose of the items but not take them home themselves. Document clearly what happened and complain.

The teacher taking the toy is not linked to the child selling the toys and the OP not stopping him from doing so anymore than a police officer taking drugs from the confiscated property of a drug dealer is linked to the drug dealer dealing drugs. Imagine if the officer turned around in a misconduct hearing and said oh but if they didn’t have the drugs in the first place, I wouldn’t have been able to steal them from them!

If someone is caught illegally selling jumpers at the side of the road without the proper licence to sell them, the police can’t then take the jumpers home and give them to their friends. The misconduct of the police in that case would be completely irrespective of the charging, convicting or sentencing of the offender.

Maybe that Intuitive example will make it more obvious to you why the teacher’s conduct is completely separate to the student’s and the student’s conduct is entirely irrelevant in the question of what the teacher has done wrong.

The teacher is guilty of misconduct even if the case were so serious that the student were arrested or expelled. The value of the item is also irrelevant.

I’m just going to repeat my earlier point: the property was not taken from the child but the mother. The confiscated materials had already been returned to the mother’s possession, so the teacher stole from OP. Everything else is a distraction.

Zero responsibility over the teacher’s theft is borne by the parents. A teacher stealing confiscated items is entirely the responsibility of the teacher.