School bullying and teacher lies and bullying to parent

[Apol1710]

Hello, does anyone have any advice for me please. My eldest son was bullied in primary school by a large group of children. These children lied when question by the teachers and blamed my son, my son and I were then targeted by the teachers and bullied. My son had numerous days off in primary school due to being anxious about the bullying and nothing was done. How can one child bully a large group of children, miss numerous days off due to anxiety yet not be believed at all?! The same thing is now happening again in high school due to the primary schools false biased reports about my son. He is being accused by one of the same children and a support worker as slapping a child when he did not do this and his friends are witnesses. I have sent emails which I don’t get a reply from. The lrimary school actually informed the police about my emails yet I wasnt visited, (yet) I feel I am being bullied. The head of primary has cried infront of me many times and told me she always cries. That’s nothing to do with me. I have all my emails as proof and they are very clear that I am trying to protect my son from bullying, this included comments about his appearance , calling him stupid, threats of violence from the child who lied about my son slapping him. How can no one believe my son who is absolutely not violent at all against a child who is experienced in karate, who is threatening to knock my child’s teeth out?! A teacher in primary school wished my son to be “poisoned” and this was covered up. The same things seem to be unravelling in high school because of the biased reports of primary school. They are trying to make out my sons is struggling with mental health (he isn’t, he’s very happy) because he’s being bullied and threatened…. This is purely the only thing that affects him. They try to silence me by making me out to be “difficult “ and I am not going to stop until the bullying stops.

This just sounds terrible and I would look at moving him to a different school. I am sure you must have considered this?

You may not get any justice if the teachers at the primary school have joined ranks.

Have you considered putting your child in another school?

What were the teachers doing to bully your child?

Do you the school were going to contact then police was your emails were threatening or something else?

What does joined ranks mean? The new school seem to be following suit of what primary did. Due to their lies. My youngest is at the same primary school and doesn’t want to be there, I submitted a transfer and it was rejected by the school. He has cried at school multiple times as he doesn’t like it there…. They seem to think he’s crying because wig something else. It’s disgraceful

I believe they contacted the school due to me quoting I was a “strong” women…. Meaning I have been through a lot. They are making out I mean that I am a risk to the public.

How have the school bullied you op?

It seems like the relationship has completely broken down, I would move both of your children to new schools asap. This situation isn't going to be resolved.

It means decided on presenting a united front; making a pact to state the same facts.

Who is they? Do you mean the school contactes the police they believed you were threatening staff at the school?

As an ex-teacher I have come across this situation before and in the kindest way, OP, you need to have a serious look at your child and yourself before you go all guns blazing.

You say a member of staff witnessed your son slap someone, yet you don't believe it. Other children witnessed this, yet you don't believe it.

The primary school either did, or warned you they would, contact police about your behaviour towards them. What behaviour was this? A school cannot, and would not do this without good reason. Schools generally avoid involving police at all costs. It's only if it is really severe that they would ask for police involvement.

Your son was accused of bullying, yet you don't believe it. After years of your son being mean to others, do you not think they'd have had enough and started retorting back? Could that be why 'everyone' was against him?

A secondary school wouldn't start bullying your son just on the say of a primary school. If it's a state school, generally the only information that is passed on is attainment, attendance and any additional/medical needs.

Like I said, I have experienced this from a child/parent before so can see the other side. In this case, the child had learnt exactly what to say/crocodile tears to the parent to get them to believe every little lie. He was absolutely the instigator and the other children got to the point where they would say things back because they were fed up. Unfortunately in this case, the head was spineless and placated the parents instead of actually dealing with the child's behaviour.

Generally, you can get 1 bad teacher or 1 bad school. But if it's every teacher, every other child, every school, then you really need to look closer to home.

I agree with PP, unfortunately if everyone else including the teacher is a bully, then you need to examine your child’s own behaviour and any potential additional needs and lagging skills they might have.

Hopefully the op isn’t in Hertfordshire like the parents who were arrested! Sounds like a similar story if the school contacted the police. A school must take dc if they have spaces in the year group so I’d move.

Other children witnessed it DIDNT happen! The child later admitted lying

Yes they contacted the police over the word “strong” meaning I have been through a lot, which they knew about. Did not mean I am a threat at all. They did this maliciously to lie about me further.

I absolutely did not say a member of staff witnessed this. I said a member of staff asked him the next day. He did not slap anyone and never has in his life! I do not need to have a serious look at either of us at all, he has been threatened with violence by the other child. Numerous times. The child swore at him yesterday infront of my son’s friends, offered him for another fight again. My child gets anxious about going to school to get bullied, that’s what I am having a serious look at.

I will add I contacted the police first as a teacher wished my son dead basically… for tit for tat the school then contacted the police about the word “strong.” I know me and my child are completely innocent.

My school is doing great in the new school except the one child who is threatening him with violence Ona daily basis, lying that my child slapped although there were witnesses to say did not. My child is not in trouble. What I am saying is the primary school lied about my child previously , the facts are my child was being bullied by multiple and in the end started to retaliate and was the only one that got in trouble for it.

My child not school!

i would move schools. If this is the uk you do not need permission to move just another school with a space. Remove your child from the other children asap and I would remove your other child from the primary school so that everyone can have a fresh start. I needed to move my children away from their primary school. It took two weeks for the paperwork to go through. My children are now thriving!

My emails were not threatening. I had depression at this time and stated that I’m a strong woman been through a lot. I had contacted the police and council about my son being bullied and wished dead by a teacher. The school contacted the police over the word strong. I have never been visited by the police or ss. As they felt no need to visit.

So how on earth do you know if the police haven't contacted you

lol…. The school told me. Stop judging and assuming please there is more to this than you know. I would not post on here if I felt I had no case to.

I'm not sure school is the problem here.

It reads very much like you were a nuisance parent in primary school and they got fed up. Now the pattern of behaviour is being repeated in secondary school.

Move schools and see if things change. If they don't, then there's a common denominator.

Trying to be sympathetic but it’s all very odd op. Why would numerous adults who are professionals and children behave like this? This is one where I would be interested to hear the other side as a large group all “ganging up” on an entirely innocent child for absolutely no reason sounds unusual to say the least.

The school actually reported to you that the word 'strong' was reported to the police? just clarifying

Correct. The word strong offended the teachers. It was used in a context of “I have been through a lot. I am a strong woman.” This is not a threatening sentence and I shouldn’t have been bullied and gaslighted to this day about the word “strong” they are bullies end of story.

You can request a SARS report from both the primary school and the high school.

That will provide all correspondence internally, externally regarding your son.

There is a Facebook group "Not Fine in School" where people can give advise, support.