Complaint against school

[tubsters]

Posting with a name change to protect my child’s identity. Has anyone had experience with a Level 3 complaint panel hearing at a school?

My 12-year-old son, who has never really been in trouble before, was given what I feel were punitive and degrading punishments. For example, he was made to sit alone on a bench in the yard for about an hour, as all the other children walked past knowing he’d been excluded from a trip – a clear act of public humiliation.

He was also called into a meeting with the Head and three other teachers, where he was pressured to end every sentence with “sir.” He was clearly nervous, and this only heightened the power imbalance and distress he felt. he is usually very polite and would always use ‘sir ‘ in normal circumstances

I accept that children need discipline and have always supported teachers, but the way this was handled felt oppressive and unnecessary, especially for a child who posed no danger and was already anxious.

The Head has denied much of this, so I escalated it to the governors and it’s now going to a panel hearing. I feel quite daunted about going up against the school, but I strongly believe this needs to be addressed for my son’s sake and for other children in the future.

If anyone has been through a panel hearing and can share their experience or advice, I’d be really grateful.

When I was at school I had similar punishments. Largely for minor (ish) infractions. I thought it was unfair, my parents thought I’d brought it on myself. My dad said words to the effect of, you decided to mess about with them and they decided to mess about with you. I’ve said the same to my kids.

Humiliating children is never OK and is not an effective way to discipline.
Your case at panel has roo sides, firstly that the school's actions were bordering being emotionally abusive and the second that the school did not follow their behaviour policy (you can find this on the website) I cannot imagine any school having those punishments as listed sanctions.
If you are not happy you can escalate to DfE.
At 12 your son needs you to advocate for him, make sure that he has gotten over this incident as things like this can affect the way he feels about education.

I'm sorry for whatever happened to you as a child to make you grow up to be an adult who comes to that bitter and unsympathetic conclusion about what the OP has written. I hope you aren't a teacher or parent and have made that misguided and unhelpful remark merely because I'm guessing like many posters here, you just have no idea how bad secondary schools have become these days, particularly in terms of leadership, discipline and ethos, and how they fail so many children.

It’s a private, independent school, for which OP has been paying. If she didn’t like it, she could have removed her DC at any time.

What?! I'm shaken to my core!!!

Yes, I've made that point to the OP upthread. It doesn't matter in terms of my last comment.

You’re right about following policies but DfE have no part in these situations. In a state school you could complain to OFSTED but in an independent school they have Independent Schools Inspectorate (ISI).

You have implied in previous posts that your son was a boarder by your frequent references to it being a boarding school, without clarifying that he is a day pupil. As he is a day pupil, it seems odd that he was still at school when all the other pupils were leaving for the evening event which he had to witness while sitting alone on the bench.

You haven't said what your son and his friend are being punished for but from your description of your son, it does sound out of character. Was the other child the instigator? You say that the other parents are also complaining. Did their son also have a similar upsetting experience in the room with the Head and two other members of staff?

@Summerlilly You really should proofread your post especially as you are a former teacher.

But it makes that last comment completely irrelevant.

I have no experience of the panel hearings so I am unable to comment on that but I would advise you to have someone with you at the hearing to take notes. In the event that you decide to record the proceedings they might abort the meeting if they know that you’re recording it so perhaps you’d be best to not mention that. Underhand I know but delay will only draw this out for so much longer.

How so? I was including private schools in that comment. "Secondary" means that stage of education, not just state schools. Heads do go between both.

Even if the DfE did have some jurisdiction they likely wouldn't do anything, even in some schools accused of serious safeguarding failings currently I think some in the Harris Academy trust over screaming at children, them wetting themselves because they couldn't go to the toilet, hair pulling, kneeling on the floor and improper use of internal isolation all it's gotten is a LADO and LA investigation of past and current students - who knows if the stafff will face consequences. With this they wouldn't do anything even if they could as they will say (so will the ISI) to go through the schools complaint system and if you have done that to go to Ofsted instead. This won't reach a threshold at all, a student being humiliated on a bench will be sent right back to the school.

he doesn’t have to relive it though - the panel has nothing to do with him. I know this is probably impossible for some people to comprehend, but after 13 years at the school and having a majority of a very positive time, I do care about deviations from policies that I feel is detrimental to the school culture as a whole. My son is gone, so it doesn’t affect him anymore. I don’t want it to happen to any other child and since this has happened many more instances,
have come out the woodwork with the head and the deputy head deviating from policies and acting quite erratically.

Yes, the misdemeanour happened the day before, but late apparently, they were sitting on the bench the next day still waiting to hear about the punishment- missing their trip. It was a very drawn out process and it seemed wrong

It was end of term so there was an early evening excursion off site

the other parents are complaining. Their child was a boarder and was refused a call home that evening even though he was really upset. The mum called him and the call was intercepted by the deputy head. Really OTT , considering far worse things like bullying/violence evoked much less of a reaction by the school.

OP, again - do you believe that your son actually did the thing he is accused of, and do you believe he ought to have been punished for it?

People are being vicious on this thread. On many threads, lots of posters automatically disagree with the OP and can't wait to tell her what an awful person she is. Often, the first few posts set the tone of the whole thread.

However, on this thread, a lot of the vitriol is definitely due to the way you have been responding to posters. Your responses have been really rude and your lofty dismissal of posters' opinions because they can't possibly understand, because they are not priviledged enough to know how private boarding schools work has been quite unpleasant. It's obvious that you look down on posters whose only experience of school/education for themselves and their children is the state sector, which you deem inferior, despite it being unlikely that your son's experience would happen in a state school.

I think your son has been treated badly and you understandably feel very protective of him. Your refusal to say what your son and his friend have done has just led to posters jumping to conclusions and assuming the worst.

I think it was a relatively small misdemeanour, a first time mistake for a child with a 9 year spotless record. Happy for him to take a punishment but not the way it was carried out

So - I have stuck up for myself and my son against some of the posters ? I make no apology. There is alot of envy politics at play (there always is) which is not new but it is embarrassing

Ah fair enough.

So she meant they corrected him for not using his manners and respect.

Lovely- what a great person you sound .

Yes , thank you. I do feel the head has ushered in a new area of punitive and erratic punishment, whilst still really not tackling the real problems at the school. The school was a happier place before he came , staff were happier and certainly the discipline procedures were fairer and more transparent

It's extremely hard being a teacher and I imagine that they may well have popped your son and friend down on the closest benches so as to temporarily deal with the situation whilst also tending to the other children. I would be surprised if their intention was to forcibly humiliate your son and his friend. Arguably any sort of punishment or telling off in class is humiliating to children. However, a teacher will have to raise their voice at times or discipline children openly in class. It cannot be equated to working in an office where a manager can take the time out for a one to one meeting.

Some children are less resilient than others and more sensitive, particularly if they haven't been in trouble before. However, I don't think that staff can practically take this into account when disciplining children. They have to take a one fits all type of approach.

Personally, I think that the bigger issue here is whether a child of primary school age should board. It must be particularly hard on those who are sensitive.

Of course, no doubt you will respond curtly to this unsolicited opinion, just as you have to others. I think that you are coming across as rather abrupt and, at times, patronising on this thread. I don't think that it will help your case if you go into the meeting in a similarly defensive mode. You have said that you want an apology from the headmaster, but surely you should be looking for a change to school policy if you feel that your son was humiliated and intimidated.

Ok but that doesn't answer the question - do you believe 100% that he did it, and do you believe he should be punished for it? I.e. do you believe it's right that he is punished, rather than sort of "well it's the school's policy so I guess I can accept it?"