Complaint against school

[tubsters]

Posting with a name change to protect my child’s identity. Has anyone had experience with a Level 3 complaint panel hearing at a school?

My 12-year-old son, who has never really been in trouble before, was given what I feel were punitive and degrading punishments. For example, he was made to sit alone on a bench in the yard for about an hour, as all the other children walked past knowing he’d been excluded from a trip – a clear act of public humiliation.

He was also called into a meeting with the Head and three other teachers, where he was pressured to end every sentence with “sir.” He was clearly nervous, and this only heightened the power imbalance and distress he felt. he is usually very polite and would always use ‘sir ‘ in normal circumstances

I accept that children need discipline and have always supported teachers, but the way this was handled felt oppressive and unnecessary, especially for a child who posed no danger and was already anxious.

The Head has denied much of this, so I escalated it to the governors and it’s now going to a panel hearing. I feel quite daunted about going up against the school, but I strongly believe this needs to be addressed for my son’s sake and for other children in the future.

If anyone has been through a panel hearing and can share their experience or advice, I’d be really grateful.

Good teachers do not command respect. The clue is in the word "command"; respect is accorded, not forced. In general, good-enough teachers are given respect because they turn up on time, teach well, mark the work and behave according to the rules set by the school.

The last bit is vital, if the institution doesn't have their back and the students know it, they won't cooperate and will play favourites with teachers.

The narrative being spun by the OP is so full of holes that it couldn't catch a mackerel.

There is obviously a backstory about the Golden Boy's behaviour since she will not reveal the nature of the offence. We know so much about her from what she has revealed, about her kids, wealth, expectations, (also about her poor educational standards from her own school experience, TBH) but not what the kid actually did.

I've taught in the independent sector for 30 years, well-known and highly-regarded schools, both senior and preps. Trips out, day and overnighters were vital to bring my subjects to life. The behaviour of the pupils was germinal to the success of the trips, obviously, and any misdemeanours were taken extremely seriously, impingeing as they so often do, on H&S issues.

How often, therefore, did I have boys sitting out on a bench while loading the coach simply because they were being stupid. Looking after 30+ boys, ensuring that they had all their gear, medications (Matron supposed to organise, but didn't always get it right...), waterproofs, sunblock, insect repellent, warm jumper...I had no time to be taking care of little Ptolemy's hurt feelings on the bench, even if he did sit there snivelling while his friends were climbing aboard.

12-year old boys lie like, well, mendacious little creatures, when it gets them out of a sticky situation. Crying in public though, well, that would be a line never to be crossed.

OP - I have two sons of my own, one of whom literally could do no wrong, and never put a foot out of line at his schools; the other was a little shit. Often. And could lie when it was necessary for survival. However, when he was accused of putting a dead possum in his Housemaster's letterbox and denied it, I knew he was telling the truth. So why won't you just tell us the nature of your DS's alleged crime?

thank you ! It does contravene Dept of Education and Ofsted standards

It doesn't.

You are dripping with classism. I am sure that is against a teacher’s code of conduct to be so prejudiced?

Discipline your child instead of wrapping him in bubble wrap.

Snowflake.

You are dripping with classism. I am sure that is against a teacher’s code of conduct to be so prejudiced?

Classism? Prejudiced?
Kindly support with evidence, OP. Not your own classism and prejudice.

wow. Ashamed to be crying ? Just wow.

Don’t display your ingnorance so readily

What has the school said in the earlier stages of this complaint?

@Jumpthewaves excuse the typos, still dictating from my chopper

It isn't me that is doing so. More rudeness.

Your language and characterisation of private school boys as ‘snivelling Ptolemys’ just drips spite and classism. But you know that. As you are a troll.

But OP, all of my kids were "private school" pupils...

I'm sorry, what does a helicopter have to do with anything?

I find it baffling that OP won't share what her son was accused of doing. The thread is irrelevant without it.

What's Ofsted got to do with it, you said your DS was a day boy.

Ofsted is the gold standard for the majority of schools in this country - so a useful benchmark perhaps ?

Maybe it's good that he felt embarrassed. Hopefully he won't do it again will he (whatever it is that he did).

Still waiting for your answer, OP. You cannot accuse me of classism and prejudice without valid evidence.

If he has broken rules or misbehaved then good on the school for enforcing consequences for bad behaviour. What were you were hoping the consequences should be?

If he has broken rules or misbehaved then good on the school for enforcing consequences for bad behaviour. What were you were hoping the consequences should be?

So I just caught up and your son was sitting/standing in the playground separately from another child and saw the others go on the trip. And you are more mortified over this than the actual act that got your son into trouble - that you still haven't shared.

Tbh I don't blame the teachers, yes they could have sent him to the library but as you said they were deciding what to do with him. He wouldn't have been away from the group if he hadn't broken the rules. If he's been in trouble hours before and then was made to watch - yes I could see the point there.

The fact is you are doing everything to blame the teachers and the headteacher for your child being in trouble and have spent the most of today on here and being rude to others. You sound like an awkward parent whose kids are never in the wrong order in this case focusing on something else.

Maybe reach your son how not to break the rules.

I ran a PRU for my entire teaching career. When you meet the parents it explains everything. Every single time.