Complaint against school

[tubsters]

Posting with a name change to protect my child’s identity. Has anyone had experience with a Level 3 complaint panel hearing at a school?

My 12-year-old son, who has never really been in trouble before, was given what I feel were punitive and degrading punishments. For example, he was made to sit alone on a bench in the yard for about an hour, as all the other children walked past knowing he’d been excluded from a trip – a clear act of public humiliation.

He was also called into a meeting with the Head and three other teachers, where he was pressured to end every sentence with “sir.” He was clearly nervous, and this only heightened the power imbalance and distress he felt. he is usually very polite and would always use ‘sir ‘ in normal circumstances

I accept that children need discipline and have always supported teachers, but the way this was handled felt oppressive and unnecessary, especially for a child who posed no danger and was already anxious.

The Head has denied much of this, so I escalated it to the governors and it’s now going to a panel hearing. I feel quite daunted about going up against the school, but I strongly believe this needs to be addressed for my son’s sake and for other children in the future.

If anyone has been through a panel hearing and can share their experience or advice, I’d be really grateful.

Interesting view. You’re right, never thought of it that way. We won’t ever know if it was designed to humiliate really will we?

thanks - yes exactly my thoughts.

Having taught in private for 20+ years, new heads are invariably a nightmare, full of big ideas, and wind staff and parents up no end, it takes a few years for it all to settle - nothing changes them - and a soon to be leaving parent certainly won't. Drop it for your son's benefit lest he become their metaphorical whipping boy.

No need to engage

he is leaving anyway. The past 2 heads have been great . This one is a terrible fit.

Does your boy go to Eton? Are you royalty? You sound like a massive snob. Patronising about state schools and their poor behaviour, bragging about the massively high staff numbers, and an unassailable belief that your little Prince could NEVER have done anything to warrant being punished in any way shape or form.
It’s incredibly telling that you refuse to say what he actually did wrong.

Not at all unusual in independent schools, been in the system all my life, teaching in it for over 20 years, lots of overlap.

The Teachers Standards that apply to the state are not applied to independent schools, there is a much reduced scope document.

However, as a Union rep I'm fully conversant with the state version, and there is nothing in the national standards that would prohibit a teacher inviting a parent to a wedding, or indeed any other social event.

I feel for you, OP. I don’t think you deserve the comments you have received, most of which are incredibly irrelevant and unhelpful.

It really doesn’t matter what he did, what matters is that you, as his mother, clearly feel that they have handled the situation inappropriately, causing more upset to your son than he deserved.

I was in a similar situation in secondary school, they handled it so badly. Considering I was a shy and quiet student who made their first ‘mistake’, the head, head of year and deputy demanded that I go into a room, full of my bullies, to apologise to them, explain myself and had to sit there whilst they all fake cried over one comment that I had made about them, after putting up with years of their abuse without saying a word. I was belittled beyond belief and till the very day, I feel angry and upset and like a right old mug. I always wished my parents would have stepped in and complained to the school.

So, on that note, do what you feel you need to do for your sons sake. If you feel that they have over reacted then don’t let your son feel like the mug that I felt all those yesrs ago. He may have done wrong, but you can still teach him that by doing something wrong, you don’t have to take punishment that is unjust. Teach him to stick up for himself and that you have his back.

In full support of you taking this further @tubsters good luck

*a lot of incorrect assumptions, including that they allegedly misbehaved that day of the trip. No"

Plenty of people have asked why he was made to sit on the bench and all you've said is the staff were deciding on a punishment. So he misbehaved( the day before? ) or did not complete some assigned task and was removed as a result?

Safeguarding rules and procedures apply regardless of the type of school involved, surely.

You sound strangely presumptuous and prejudiced

Yes I have been to a panel meeting for level 3 complaint. I represented myself and attended alone. I spoke honestly and had strong detailed evidence. The majority of my complaints were upheld. I received a formal apology and practices at school were changed moving forwards. I’m pretty sure heads rolled after my panel hearing, lots of the panel were clearly horrified at what had happened.

I would agree that taking a 12 year old into a meeting on his own with FOUR adults teachers is very poor, regardless of the circumstances.

Thank you - these are some very wise words. It is exactly how I feel. I can feel the burn of injustice in your post all these years later and that is what I feel on behalf of my son. He is a quiet , shy lad . Never been in trouble before - ever.

There’s a massive difference between making, say, a safeguarding disclosure, and minimising their misdemeanours.

Kids misremember things. They miss out crucial or defining details, accidentally or on purpose. They don’t have the critical thinking skills that we, as adults, do. They don’t understand that omitting one small detail might change the meaning of the entire story. Even the most well-behaved child can’t be trusted to tell the truth 100% of the time.

I’m not suggesting any parent should immediately disbelieve their child. But no parent should ever say that their child never lies or is never wrong.

So you're pursuing this to put the new head in his place. Right-o.

Tone?

I haven't RTFT but my friend went up against a complaint panel. Her approach was to scour all the school and local education policies and highlight the ways in which the school had failed to adhere these policies. She also did a subject access request on her son, in her case to evidence the unfair views that were held on him. No suggestion it applies here, but her son is neuro diverse so she also referenced SEN policies that were failed. Ultimately cross referencing the schools own reports on her son with their own policies and showing where they hadn't followed them meant that she was successful and some extremely strong actions were taken against staff involved.

I think it's very unfortunate that on here you've continued to be so rude. A proper discussion could've been had if you'd been more willing to fully inform the thread and this would've been more helpful to the construction of your arguments and your complaint. You will need to show that you can accept your son did wrong at the panel if you expect them to take you seriously on anything else. You'll also need to be clear that, whilst he may not deliberately be lying, you accept and understand that his side of the story is from his perspective and may not be fully accurate.

I dont know why I'm still bothering to try and help, I just like to help people, even if they insist on being bad mannered. I hope you get what you want from it.

I do think some teachers unreasonably humiliate and belittle young people and all this sir stuff ( and uniforms) is out of step with the real world
Good teachers can command respect without all that stuff

I think you are very old-fashioned. Did you actually mean to suggest that 'the strap' is ok?

I personally totally agree with OP. This was ritual public humiliation and degradation. Utterly unacceptable and I'm not even sure if legal.

How rude.

If this thread is real, I'd love to hear from @tubsters after the panel.

Clue: she won't, they never do.

degradation?! from sitting on a bench to wait to be spoken to!?

This was ritual public humiliation and degradation.

No it really wasn't! He wasn't being flogged or tarred and feathered, he was made to sit on a bench in front of his peers for misbehaving. Sense of perspective, please.